A Soft Hope
by Mana Mihara
Summary: England. 1821. She’s a painter who has lost her meaning in life. He’s a former sea captain trying to redeem himself for past sins. The collision of their lives leads the pair down an unexpected path. [KK]
1. A Lingering Ache

**Synopsis**: England. 1821. She's a painter who has lost her meaning in life. He's a former sea captain trying to redeem himself for past sins. The unexpected collisions of their lives leads the pair down a path they never dreamed of. KK

**Author's Note**: I'm happy to say that this fic is completely finished. It is 8 chapters long, and falls a tad short of 100 pages on my word processor. Updates will not occur every four to six months here (like they have with my other stories, unfortunately), and, in fact, after I revise them, I'll have a new chapter out every few days. So stick with me for these next coming weeks, and (hopefully) enjoy this little novella that I've written.

The only thing that bothers me with placing these characters in England is their names. I wish they didn't sound so out of place, but, alas…there's nothing I can really do about that. So bear with me on this. Thanks.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

**A Soft Hope**

_1821.English countryside, in Kent._

* * *

_**Chapter 1**_

_A Lingering Ache_

* * *

Silence hung in the air like a thick shroud. The quiet atmosphere was considerably uncomfortable, but it allowed precious time for deep introspection. The world seemed to be in a constant, tormenting bustle these past months, passing by in a continuous swirl of pain and confusion. Life itself was viewed through a haze of deep, encompassing red. 

Red for anger building like a heavy fist in the back of her mind.

Red for pain that curled unbearably around her heart.

And red for the grief that never left her.

…oh, God, the horrid grief…

Kaoru bit her lip painfully as she clasped her hands tightly together in her lap. In an attempt to push away the crushing wave of despondency threatening to envelop her, Kaoru closed her eyes momentarily, and tried to regain her composure. She gradually managed to situate her mind onto the irregular and noisy rocking of the carriage, which had become sorely tedious after the long day's traveling.

As the carriage moved down the rudimentary road, the tall, elegant wheels bumped uncomfortably on the uneven path. Kaoru's two fellow passengers were weary from the extended traveling, the roughness of the long journey apparent on their careworn features. The small young woman sitting beside Kaoru was leaning to the side, her limbs loose as she tried to drift off into an oblivious dream state like the woman who sat across from the two of them. The regal older woman remained in her stiff, upright position, leaning against the back of the plush seat, her eyes closed as she slept peacefully.

Plagued by unwelcome and aching thoughts, Kaoru's pesky demons had kept her awake and fully aware throughout the journey. Turning her wary gaze to the window on her right, she became lost in the vast, naked beauty of the surrounding landscape.

It was so, utterly green.

More vividly green than she had ever seen in her life.

Having been raised in the bustling, busy city of London, the bare, wistfulness of England's countryside seared a picture of glowing splendor in her mind that she did not think would ever be able to be topped by any other location. This land's distinctiveness was absolutely stunning and so different from what she was used to. Kaoru wished that the weather could have been clear and vacant of the cloudy pains nature threw down unmercifully that afternoon. It would have been all the more pleasurable to view these unfamiliar surroundings if the sunlight had been there to aid her.

Though it was slightly hushed within the rolling carriage, nature's cruel howling of discontent slipped through the small windows to fill the quietness. As Kaoru studied the weather, she noticed the thick, gray clouds hanging ominously in the shadowed sky, their heavy forms threatening to spill a torrential rain. A solid gust of wind whipped up the curtain near her, and then slapped it back down violently.

The thick folds of Kaoru's violet traveling skirts swished as she shifted slightly, hoping to relieve some of the uncomfortable pressure building in her limbs. A deep sigh caught in her throat, but Kaoru halfheartedly bit it back in an attempt to keep from rousing her companions.

Blinking, she swallowed instead. It was hard to escape the solemn feelings building within her when she was reminded of them so often. And, because of her forever-looming past that she could never escape, Kaoru couldn't help but regress.

She, Miss Kaoru Kamiya, had been an orphan for almost eleven months. She had thought as the time passed and the horrible incident was pushed farther away from the present, the blaring pain would gradually begin to subside. How horribly naïve of her.

It had not gotten better.

It had not gotten worse.

She had just grown terribly numb. The sudden death of both her parents in a tragic accident had blindsided her and left her desperately alone.

She was a 19-years-old; young in her experience of life and also unaccustomed to being in charge of the comfortable amount of money her parents had left behind. Her father had been the third son of the Baron of Alcester, and had served in the Royal Military for many years before settling down and marrying her mother. Considered gentry, she had lived a comfortable and happy existence with her small family. The fact that she was on her own now was something that she didn't know she'd ever embrace fully.

Her best friend had been with her through the past horrible months, and noticing the true unhappiness plaguing Kaoru, she had convince her own parents to take Kaoru under their wing.

And so here she sat in Baroness Makimachi's carriage across from the elder woman herself, adjacent to her best friend, Misao. She was traveling with them to their country estate in Kent. The land had been part of the baroness's family for generations, and had become the family's refuge for a short holiday from London every year. Misao and her mother had invited Kaoru to come along during their most recent trip, hoping the new environment would help her to retrieve some of her former self.

The idea behind the trip was comforting, and Kaoru could never have thought of refusing. Despite her providential upbringing, Kaoru had never visited the true countryside of England, staying instead within the confines of London's city limits. The bareness and the quietness was a new experience to her, and Kaoru knew that her hosts had high expectations for this country visit. They hoped to coax her from the shell of depression surrounding her. But, Kaoru was afraid her old persona was gone, replaced by someone else…a stranger that even she didn't know.

Turning her gaze from the darkened view, Kaoru leaned back. She pressed a hand against her forehead as a small headache grew slightly in intensity. Closing her eyes, she tried to relax and blot out the day with blackness.

* * *

A soft shaking woke her from her deep slumber. Blinking the blurry haze from her vision, Kaoru sat up slowly as she brushed a loose wisp of hair off of her pale cheek. 

"We're at the Inn for the night," Misao told her softly, her voice smooth.

Kaoru nodded in response as she followed her friend out of the carriage. The duo emerged from the small, relatively warm compartment and into the dark, brisk coolness of the night. Kaoru shivered, her traveling suit offering little warmth. Her footsteps were hurried as she and Misao made their way to the front door of the small inn. Misao's footman opened the door, allowing them to hasten inside.

A wave of fresh warmth hit Kaoru's face and she immediately relaxed in the comfortable waiting room. They were ushered to a private sitting room off to the side and offered a steaming meal that Kaoru realized was sorely needed. The baroness was elated to be on solid, unmoving ground for once. Her tired face was transformed by the merry smile on her lips, which warmed Kaoru's heart and reminded her fleetingly of her own mother. Misao was her normal, animated self, and the sound of her laughter filled the room with a jovial aura.

As the three women sat at the table, Misao's mother spoke openly of her past, especially of her childhood in rural England. She told the girls of the menagerie of people who lived in and around the town they were traveling to. Kaoru listened with rapt attention, her lips half smiling at the antics the baroness described herself performing. She made herself sound almost like the terrible duo that Kaoru had heard herself and Misao called many times before…in the past.

After they had finished eating, the baroness retired, professing her mounting fatigue. Misao and Kaoru remained in the sitting room, the longevity of the day taking its toll on the two women as well.

Sighing deeply, Misao sat heavily on a small loveseat near the blazing fireplace. "Oh, I'm so glad we'll reach our destination tomorrow."

"Mmm," Kaoru hummed in agreement. "I admit it is rather fatiguing," she continued as she sat on a solo seat across from her friend. "It will be nice when I can take Alistair on a long ride. I'm sure he's itching for a good run."

Misao replied happily, her eyes lighting with humor, "Is that all you think of? Your beloved horse?"

"You know better than to ask such a silly question," Kaoru retorted with a smile. "Alistair is the love of my life."

"I was looking to see if any human counterpart had taken his place."

"Never."

Misao leaned back, her skirts rustling. "You're missing out."

"When you find real love, come tell me what I'm missing and then maybe I'll reconsider."

"Good response," Misao told her with a smile, her eyes turning slightly wistful. "There are some interesting characters in the surrounding area near Stirling Hall. A handful of brooding men, some scoundrels lurking about, and a colorful assemblage of quite friendly villagers."

"It sounds interesting."

"Oh, Kaoru, you'll be more than interested."

Misao remained quiet for a moment, scanning her friend's face, taking note of the smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, and the pale cast covering her normally happily flushed face. It hurt to see her friend like this. It really did.

Standing, Misao walked over to her friend and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I'm going to turn in. If you need anything, just knock."

Kaoru nodded her silent thanks, watching as Misao quietly departed from the small sitting room, closing the door gently behind her. Kaoru sat alone for a few moments in silence, watching the flickering fingers of the hot fire. Thinking back at the last years with her parents, she remembered the happy laughter that followed them everywhere, the stubborn willfulness of her mother, and the loud, protective voice of her father. Though her beloved family was not able to be with her in person, they would always be there somehow, she knew. And they would want her happiness above all. Her mourning period had ended just the last week, her black clothes shed almost reluctantly. But with the absence of the black clothes, she also needed to purge her mind of the black thoughts that dominated her mind, consciously and unconsciously.

Sighing resolutely, Kaoru stood from the chair and moved to the door, her steps slow. She would make her parents proud. Oh, how she hoped they would be pleased as they looked down upon her.

* * *

The next day was as cool as the one before it, though there was only a slight sprinkling of thin clouds that were almost translucent against the bright blue of the late afternoon sky. The fresh air that poured through the carriage windows was wonderfully revitalizing as a simple breeze brushed Kaoru's cheeks. Misao remained upright in her seat, eager and animated as energy poured off her in rousing rays. The baroness had a book open in her lap, her eyes glued to the pages, though, how she could read as the carriage wobbled around on the road, Kaoru had no idea. 

There was a shout from the driver as they pulled onto a long drive off the main road. A thin set of trees lined the drive, shading the path and cooling the surrounding air. Misao leaned forward and placed her fingers long the edge of the window, her eyes riveted to the passing scenery. As they traveled further, a large manor came into view behind the trees, its majestically beautiful structure riveting in appearance and stature.

"It is stunning," Kaoru uttered lowly.

"Isn't it, though?" Misao agreed, content enthusiasm audible in her tone.

Sighing, the baroness looked up from her book, her eyes creased with pleasure. Closing her book, she said, "Welcome to Stirling Hall, Kaoru."

Breathing in deeply, Kaoru leaned back, relaxing and enjoying the ride up to the main entrance. As they neared, a procession of servants filed out of the house single-file, lining up against the front and clasping their hands behind their back in a stance of acquiescence and pride. As the carriage rolled to a stop, Misao grabbed Kaoru's arm, a large smile on her face. The footman opened the door of the carriage and held out a hand to assist the women down from their lofty position. The baroness left first, followed by the exuberant Misao, and finally Kaoru who, though a little uncertain, straightened her back and followed her friend with a conscious pride rooted in her in her motions.

The introduction to the servants became a blur as she walked down the line with Misao quickly, her mind bombarded with too much information entirely too quickly. Smiling politely at them all, she followed Misao, quiet and gracious. At the end, Misao pulled her away with a departing nod of her head and quick farewell to her mother.

The duo went in the direction opposite the front doors and traveled along the side of the manor until they rounded the corner. Kaoru smiled to herself as her gaze softened, roving over the sweeping garden filled with peaking flowers that dominated the cooler weather of the season. She followed Misao down a path that went directly through the green jungle of attractive plants.

"I like to try and enter the house from the back sometimes. I love walking through the garden, especially during certain seasons. It always manages to calm me," Misao told her quietly.

Kaoru smiled fondly at her friend, following her through the encompassing buds, her skirts brushing the delicate blossoms.

"Come on. Let's get inside and change. The cook should have a meal prepared. I'm famished."

Together, the two entered through a side door, which lead past the conservatory and into a well-lit and elegantly decorated hallway.

"I'll lead you to your room. I told the servants to place your things in the Rose Room. It's right down the hall from mine and has a wonderful view of the side gardens and the stable. I figured you liked to be able to see where Alistair is stabled at anytime during the day."

Kaoru smiled. "Yes, that's very nice."

The Rose Room was aptly named. The walls were a delicate off-white, the bed coverlet and furniture a soft red, creating a picture that was smooth and comfortingly homey. Four vases were scattered throughout the room, filled with varying colors of roses, their wonderfully florid scent permeating throughout the pretty room.

"It's very nice, Misao. Thank you."

"Just get changed and we'll see you downstairs."

Dinner was a formal but comfortable affair. The conversation was loose and relaxed as Misao talked happily of her plans for the next month that they expected to be in the country. Though Misao planned to keep pleasantly busy, Kaoru had planned to keep a lower profile and enjoy her time in the foreign land.

* * *

The next day, the wind whipped around Kaoru's slight form as she leaned down low, burying her flushed face into the flowing mane of her midnight black stallion. Her legs clutched his girth as he galloped through the open land, his lungs heaving with deep, energy-conserving intakes of air. His long strides were powerful, wide, and exhilaratingly delightful to experience. 

Clad in the riding pants she had owned and used in secret for years, Kaoru glued herself to Alistair's back, her body moving rhythmically with his great strides. Her eyes were vibrant with a deep and passionate pleasure that fulfilled her.

If seen by a peer, dressed as she was, her reputation would be bruised. But to feel the wind whistling through her loosely tied back raven hair, and to experience the wonderful speed, Kaoru rashly felt it was worth it, especially if it meant spending time with Alistair.

Sitting up slightly and pulling back on the reins gently, she slowed Alistair into a canter. He snorted and shook his head, his pace slowing even more to a gentle trot and then finally a striding walk. Reaching down, Kaoru swept her hand down his sleekly muscled neck, praising his amenable, yet untamed nature, her contentment with him apparent.

"Good boy," she told him softly causing his ears to shift to the side. "Good boy, Alistair." He lowered his head and snorted again while flicking his tail side to side. Slipping her booted feet from the silver stirrups, Kaoru dismounted with ease and grasped the reins to pull them up off of his neck and over his head so she could lead him to the small water hole. Letting him lower his head, she watched him as he took a refreshing drink.

Kaoru had awakened as the sun rose over the horizon, bathing the land with a soft light of blended colors. She had dressed in her old riding clothes – the ones she had worn at home around her family, and quietly left her room, hoping to escape without being noticed. The bewildered groom at the stable had agreed to be silent about her morning escapade, while helping her to saddle Alistair who had been waiting moodily in his stall, full of impatient, pent-up energy. The second she had mounted her horse, she hadridden off through the thin veil of fog blanketing the green scenery.

Sighing softly, Kaoru watched as Alistair lifted his head, water dripping from his mouth. She ran a hand down his soft nose, and then reached up to push his forelock away from his eyes.

"Ready to head back? It's getting late and we don't want people wondering where we are," she said to him affectionately. Nudging her gently, Alistair snorted. Kaoru smiled with amusement and, in return, lightly pushed him back before moving to his side. Placing her left leg into the stirrup, she mounted, urging Alistair into a comfortable trot and leading him to a well-worn path that led directly back to Stirling Hall. He accelerated, changing his gait into an even canter before turning a slight curve that was shaded by an up cropping of trees lined with thick bushes.

Kaoru caught sight of a flash of red and heard a startled shout as suddenly Alistair jolted to an abrupt jarring halt, rearing and voicing his immediate displeasure. Kaoru swung forward abruptly, and then almost immediately whipped backwards in move that caused her to lose her precarious balance as her feet fell free from the stirrups. She fell, landing with a bone-jarring jerk on the unforgiving ground. Her breath was knocked forcefully from her, and she lay there for a minute, stunned and breathless as black, shiny dots swam mockingly before her eyes. For the moment, Kaoru was too numb to feel any permanent injuries marring her body.

As Kaoru blinked blurrily, an unfamiliar face surrounded by a halo of red swam in her vision. Groaning, she managed to hear a jumbled garble of words escape from the stranger.

"Arph uo aphysz?"

Confused, she frowned and tried to sit up, placing the palm of her hand flat against her head with a grimace.

"Arph uo aphysz?"

Shaking her head at the unfamiliar muddle of words, Kaoru closed her eyes and tried to regain her lucidity and composure. A firm hand was placed against her back, helping her to sit up more steadily. Blinking at the unknown features looming in front of her, the face sharpened in focus and the voice cleared as her comprehension gradually returned.

"Miss?" he asked urgently, his violet eyes concerned. "Miss, are you all right?"

Kaoru lowered her hand from her forehead and felt her cheeks pale as she saw a stain of blood on her palm.

The man gently brushed her hair away from her forehead and shook his head. "I think I should take you into the village to see the doctor. That cut looks pretty nasty."

Staring blankly at his features for a moment, it was a few drawn out seconds before Kaoru abruptly wrenched back, finally connecting with reality as the shock of the fall wore off. "What were you doing the road? You could have been killed!" she snapped, her eyes flashing angrily.

Startled, the man blinked at her owlishly, his red eyebrows raised. "You were the one galloping down that path."

"I was cantering."

"Still…that was pretty fast."

Kaoru tried to push herself up from the ground, her feet slipping a little on the dirt. The man helped steady her with firm hands around her waist. She pushed against him weakly, her now loose hair falling into her eyes.

"Seriously, I think I should take you to the doctor in town," he insisted firmly, keeping a hold of her waist as she stood, albeit unsteadily.

Kaoru backed away from him, escaping his helpful grip and brushing her long hair from her face impatiently. She stepped back and bumped into Alistair who stood patiently behind her. Turning, Kaoru gripped his saddle and awkwardly mounted, her clumsy movements caused by poor balance. Once in the saddle, her right foot found the stirrup belatedly, and she grasped for the reins with unsteady fingers.

"I-I'm fine. Sorry for the trouble," she mumbled, turning Alistair and quickly moving away, her back straight and her cheeks flaming a bright red. Mortified at being in a situation liked this, Kaoru spurred Alistair on, and tried to put as much distance between herself and the unusual stranger.

Sighing resolutely, the man watched as the young woman disappeared behind the tree line. Running a hand through his mussed long hair, he turned to the articles he had dropped when she had almost bowled over him.

He hoped she got home in one piece.

* * *

When Kaoru arrived at the stable, her vision was swimming dimly and her head hurt like the dickens. The stable boy looked at her nervously when he saw her disheveled state. Thankfully, the heavy curtain of her hair covered the gash right below the hairline on her forehead. Usually she stayed and helped with unsaddling and washing down Alistair, but today she felt simply awful, so she uncharacteristically handed the reigns over the stable boy and headed up to the house. 

It was still rather early so the hallways were pretty bare. The few servants that were present gave her no notice. Kaoru walked past her room and hurried to Misao's. Giving the door a cursory knock, Kaoru opened it and stepped inside, her gaze hitting the slight form sprawled lazily in the bed, arms flung up over her head while the sheets were twisted around her torso.

Kaoru walked over to the side of the bed to stand beside her snoring friend. She placed a hand on her back, shaking her slightly to rouse her. Misao groaned, and mumbled something unintelligible as she turned and buried her face into the comfort of her pillow.

"Misao, get up," Kaoru urged, shaking her again.

Misao raised her head slowly and speared her friend with a moody glare. "What is it?"

Kaoru pushed her hair back and gave Misao a good view of the cut. Narrowing her eyes, Misao sat up groggily.

"How'd tha happen?" she managed to slur sleepily.

"I went riding, and had a mishap with some red-haired man which caused me to fall off Alistair and," she motioned toward her forehead with a wince, "I cut my head."

Misao pushed away the bedcovers and stood, stepping close to get a better look at Kaoru's injury.

"That looks bad. Let me ring for Frances. He's pretty good at patching up cuts and scrapes."

Misao moved away, leaving Kaoru to sit down as another wave of dizziness assaulted her. Misao gave her a small glass of water as they waited for Frances.

"So did the man tell you his name?" Misao asked, eyeing her friend curiously.

"Hmm? What man?"

Raising an eyebrow, she smiled. "The man you almost killed this morning."

Kaoru frowned. "I did not almost kill him. He just got in the way and spooked Alistair. There was no real danger."

"…says the woman with the large gash on her forehead," she teased.

Kaoru ignored her pointedly, and turned her gaze to the shiny glass she held in her hand. "I didn't ask what his name was, and he didn't ask for mine."

"Well, that's a shame. You'll probably never see him again."

"Why would I want to see him again?"

At that moment, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Misao called out.

Frances entered, a small pack of medical materials with him. Within ten minutes, he had cleaned Kaoru's wound and put a small bandage over it. Kaoru thanked him and sighed as she watched the friendly man leave.

"I'm glad it wasn't too deep. Hopefully it will heal fairly fast." Misao looked across the room at the clock sitting on the mantle. "You better go get dressed. Breakfast is in a half hour, and mother really does expect us to be prompt despite the fact this is a holiday of sorts," she said, moving over to the large closet to get her own clothes together.

Kaoru sighed as her friend disappeared inside the dressing room. Getting up from her seat, she stepped over to the door. Thankfully, the dizziness that had been affecting her had started to dissipate. Her steps were steadier as she headed to her room to change out of her worn riding clothes and into a more appropriate gown.

* * *

"Oh, Kaoru!" the baroness exclaimed as she walked into the breakfast parlor, pressing a hand to her stomach. "Dear, what happened?" 

Fork freezing on the way to her mouth, Kaoru gave her an uneasy smile. "I was riding Alistair, um, near the barn and I took a tumble." Reaching up to touch the white bandage covering her sore scrape, she tried to reassure the older woman. "It's rather trivial, my lady. Nothing to worry about."

Misao smiled at her mother. "She's just being her careless self. Remember that time when we were around 8 or so years old and Kaoru decided to climb that tree to peek at a robin? The branch broke, she fell, and received a large scrape on her arm."

"Yes, of course I remember. It happened while she was visiting us," the baroness replied.

"Well, it turned out just fine after some healing time. Nothing to worry about."

The baroness remained silent as she gave her daughter a disapproving look. Turning, she moved over to the small buffet laid out in front of them and picked up a presented plate.

At the table, Misao leaned over her plate, looking across the table to whisper conspiratorially with Kaoru. "It's probably good you didn't mention the reason you fell was because of a strange man. Who knows what her reaction would have been."

Amused, Kaoru raised an eyebrow. "That's why omitted it," she answered back in a hushed voice.

"Kaoru," the baroness started as she sat down beside her daughter. "It's probably best if you take Misao or a chaperon with you next time you go riding if you plan on leaving the property. You don't know whom you might encounter. Although there are many respectable people in this area, there are always n'er-do-wells lurking about. I would hate for anything dreadful to happen to you. You're such a wonderful friend of the family it would be devastating."

"Yes, my lady. I did not think ahead."

"That's quite alright." Studying the young woman, the baroness frowned slightly and paused for moment as if contemplating something, and then turned to her daughter, a happy smile on her face. "Take Kaoru into the village today. I'm sure she would love to meet some of the residents who live in this area and to tour more of the land that she will be living in for the nest several weeks. I want her to fall in love with this part of the country as much as our family has."

Kaoru smiled at that last statement, and then turned her gaze to Misao who began to nod her head as she went over her mother's suggestion in her mind. Kaoru could only imagine what Misao was slowly planning in those devious thoughts of hers.

* * *

The afternoon was just too beautiful to waste away inside the close confines of a carriage, so Kaoru and Misao strolled down the worn path leading through the center of a nearby village, toward the main supply shop. Kaoru looked up, squinting her eyes against the bright glare of the midday sun. She felt a sigh cloud her lungs. It was so fresh here, so full of light and sound and comfort that she was beginning to feel welcomer in this new environment with every passing minute. 

The village was small with a sprinkling of small dwellings along the traveled road. There were a few people outside, their voices lighting the air with a chorus of amiable sound. A gentle dusting of wildflowers popped up in many spots alongside the houses, their bright colors of brilliance striking against the characteristic brown of the wood. Kaoru felt a small, sudden smile curve her lips. How utterly charming.

Peeking at her friend, Kaoru cocked her head to the side as she watched Misao walk, obviously distracted by her own reflective thoughts.

Deciding to pull Misao from her meditative shell, Kaoru asked abruptly, "So do you think he'll be here?"

Distracted, Misao glanced over at her friend. "Who?"

"You know. The man you've been mooning over your entire life," she responded with a perceptive smile, raising her eyebrows.

Misao sighed and dipped her gaze to the sidewalk. "He wasn't here the year before, so I think chances are slim." Humor lighted her eyes. "I'm quite afraid I terrified the poor man," she said slightly impishly, her cheek dimpling.

"Well, you did say you practically stalked him."

Misao wrinkled her nose in response. "That's too harsh of word. How about we just say I followed him a bit. But if you knew him," she started with a deep intake of breath, "you would definitely understand my admiration."

Smiling at her friend, Kaoru retorted, "I think it would be almost better if you didn't bump into him while we're here. I'd hate to be chasing you as you chase him. It is not what I had in mind for an ideal retreat."

Misao huffed silently, her mouth forming a straight line as she glared at Kaoru for a moment before turning her gaze back in front of her. Apparently, she couldn't come up with a retort to Kaoru's jab, so instead she remained unusually quiet, and Kaoru found that unnerved her more than their usual arguments.

To break the pressing quietness, Kaoru suddenly asked a question that more surprised herself than the girl walking beside her. "Is there a shop near here that sells paints? I-I'm very interesting in painting some landscapes."

Misao's first reaction was to halt in mid-step, her eyes widening and mouth falling open with poorly hidden shock. She turned slowly to the side to face Kaoru, and her rounded gaze connected with Kaoru's slightly uncertain and tentative expression. "You actually want to paint?" Misao blurted out.

"I wouldn't ask if I was kidding," Kaoru responded, slowly becoming amused as she watched the display of sudden astonishment on Misao's face.

"But, this is first you've even thought of painting since the accident. I just – I just thought you might have given it up do to lack of inspiration."

Kaoru nodded tersely as she stepped forward and grabbed her friend's arm to pull her gently along with her. "Well, I _did_ stop because of lack of inspiration. But this place is just…magnificent. I have the strongest urge to put brush to canvas and render a likeness of the countryside."

Noticing the excited flush high on Kaoru's cheeks, Misao felt the need to grin complacently. The country was already starting to work its magic, and to think they had only been present for so short a time. A bubble of excitement burst in her chest as she suppressed a relieved sigh. Hurrying ahead, she moved to lead Kaoru across the street to a small, unnamed shop with polished windows.

Misao looked back at Kaoru. "I know just the place to get you set up. There's a man who lives not far from here that paints in his spare time, and because he's such a generous customer, this particular shop orders copious amounts of his favorite paints. They also have miscellaneous supplies that hopefully you'll find to your liking."

Kaoru followed Misao almost eagerly as she felt a familiar welling of anticipation pool in her heart. Other than spending time with her horse, Alistair, there was only one pastime that utterly completed her, made her breathless with exhilaration and caused her heart to accelerate with undue pleasure.

Her painting.

She had begun when she was a young child, dipping her little fingers into smooth wet paint and creating fun patterns on supplied paper, and on rare occasions much to her mother's dismay, the floor or walls. Because her family was at one of the lowest rungs on the peerage pyramid, Kaoru had had most of her time to herself, and didn't need to worry as much as other young women her age about keeping up constant appearances. Instead, she had started to immerse herself deeply in her flourishing love of painting. When she wasn't riding Alistair through Hyde Park or fulfilling her societal obligations, Kaoru was cornered in her upstairs room, the windows wide open to let the breeze rush inside with a paintbrush held loftily in her hand as she painted anything and everything that she fancied at the moment.

Her parents had teased her over the years that she would never be able to get all of the paint off of her fingers, and that she would forever smell of turpentine. Kaoru had found through trial and error that the perfume jasmine worked wonders in easily masking the strong scent that her painting unfortunately blessed her with. And while her parents teased her unmercifully, Misao was always complaining that she was a poor distant second to Kaoru's art. In an attempt to show her loyalty to her best friend, Kaoru kept herself away from her paints for an entire week at one time…it was week she would always remember as a great challenge of will.

Kaoru had been in the middle of a family portrait when her parents were suddenly killed. The inspiration that had come so naturally to her seemed to shrivel and melt into an unrecognizable muddle within her soul. Kaoru hadn't known if the desire to paint would ever return and allow her to continue with her art, or if she would remain bereft of her talents for the rest of her life. Throughout these past months, painting seemed like a distant and pointless hobby that served no purpose in her life anymore…one that would stay an odd memory in the back of mind, covered by the harshness of reality.

But, there was something about the ambience of the countryside, the singularity that filled the air and clouded her chest with pleasure that made Kaoru take a deep, introspective look at herself. The uncultivated brilliance of the expansive land was gradually beginning to fill her formerly hollow thoughts, and in turn, was revitalizing the inspiration that had been nonexistent for so long.

Kaoru sucked in a deep breath of the unhindered air and focused her traveling gaze on the path in front of her. As the duo neared the shop Misao had previously explained as the ticket to the continuation of her beloved hobby, Kaoru bit her lip and felt the uncontrollable urge to laugh out loud. It was wonderful to have a piece of her life back. Finally a part of her past was returning to her. Finally…she was taking a step forward.

Misao's grip on Kaoru's arm suddenly loosened as they encountered a pair of men walking directly toward them, distracted by their muted conversation. The tilt of Misao's mouth warned Kaoru that one of these men was someone she recognized. The women's steps slowed as they came within a few feet of the men, and it was with a slight cough from Kaoru that she was able to catch their attention. Kaoru was slightly startled by the weird choking sound coming silently from Misao, and she glanced questionably at her as her body perceptibly tensed.

One man was tall, dark-haired and stern in his appearance, his blue eyes cold and static as they observed the two women.

"Lord Shinomori," Misao uttered, her voice low as she straightened her posture. Kaoru's eyes immediately widened perceptivity as she studied the man whom Misao had told her about on so many occasions previously. He wasn't at all what she had expected. "It is…so nice to see you again."

He nodded politely. "Lady Makimachi." He inclined his head toward Kaoru, waiting for an introduction.

"This is my friend, Miss Kaoru Kamiya," Misao introduced.

"Miss Kamiya."

"Kaoru, this is Lord Shinomori, Viscount of Sheffield," Misao said, her composure quickly returning as the shock from the surprise encounter began to wear off.

Kaoru gave a slight dip of her head in appreciation. "Viscount."

The man standing next the viscount was much shorter, his hair a bright red and his eyes vaguely familiar. His voice was effortlessly rich and soothing and Kaoru felt a slight nagging in the back of her mind as she heard it.

"I don't believe I've met either of you," he started. "Lord Shinomori is a close friend of mine."

The viscount stepped in, introducing his companion. "This is Lord Himura, Earl of Glairmoor."

Misao and Kaoru mumbled polite greetings, but any thoughts of deepening the tentative conversation was cut short as the two men stepped past them, obviously taking their immediate leave.

"It was nice seeing you again, my lord," Misao said to the viscount, watching as the two men stepped away.

The stoic man inclined his head slightly in response.

As they walked around the women, a soft voice by Kaoru's ear surprised her, sending a fresh tingle of awareness down her spine. "It is good to see you are well, miss."

Raising her eyes to meet the perceptive gaze of the red-haired man, Kaoru felt heart leap in recognition as he smiled slightly, his lips curving knowingly as he watched her eyes widen and her cheeks flush.

It was _him_.

The man, as Misao had said, she almost killed with her recklessness.

She wasn't able to come up with a coherent response as her attention was suddenly snapped away when Misao began to pull her toward the entrance of their decided destination. Kaoru glanced behind her to catch the red-haired man's retreating form, and she felt a slight stab of disappointment as she stared at his back. Although, she honestly wasn't sure what exactly she was disappointed about. Mumbling silently to herself as Misao opened the door to the store and ushered her inside, Kaoru turned her gaze back to her friend.

Misao seemed preoccupied, though, as she led Kaoru to a clerk where she asked for directions to the painting supplies. The supplies the shop carried were varied, yet Kaoru found some paints that were pleasing to her. Opting to buy only the rudimentary colors and mix them to the correct shade, Kaoru decided to only purchase a few containers of paint.

"So that was _the_ Lord Shinomori? Your Aoshi? The man you claim is terrified of you?" she asked Misao, looking up from the paints with an arched brow. "He didn't look too terrified to me."

"Yes, that is a nice shade of blue," Misao responded obviously off in her own little world, her eyes glued to the window where she studied something Kaoru wasn't able to see.

Raising her eyes heavenward in amused exasperation, Kaoru picked up the blue paint that Misao distractively thought was pretty and studied it. Smiling to herself, Kaoru let her thoughts return to contemplating her own, suddenly unfortunate fate.

If Kaoru had known that the man she had practically run over with her horse this morning was an earl, she might have handled the situation a bit more carefully and definitely with a bit more finesse. It was never a good idea to anger one's peer, especially if he held a higher position.

Trying to concentrate on the task at hand, Kaoru placed her hand on one of the easels for sale, before turning to Misao, unable to help the burst of curiosity unfurling in her mind as she cast her eyebrows downwards speculatively.

"Do you know anything of the earl with Lord Shinomori?" she asked Misao, catching her attention. In a wonderful stroke of luck, Kaoru's question seemed to have actually reached Misao's ears, and she watched as Misao turned away from her study of the front window.

"Well, I…let me think. What did he say his name was?"

"The Earl of Glairmoor."

Frowning, she reached down and picked up a large paintbrush, sweeping the sleek bristles against the palm of her hand. Kaoru reached over and plucked it from her hand before she could bend the delicate bristles. "Glairmoor…I seem to remember that name somehow. Let me think about it, Kaoru."

Kaoru nodded silently, turning her gaze back to the painting supplies. Picking out two canvases, she stepped back and sighed. "I think this is it."

"Quite a bit of stuff. I'll get Glenn to take it and put in the carriage so we don't have to carry it around."

As the clerk totaled the bill, Misao turned to Kaoru, giving her a curious stare. "Why are you interested in the earl? Did someone finally catch your fancy?"

Kaoru made a noncommittal sound in the back of her throat as she tried to remain neutral and refute the other woman's allegation. "No, I'm just curious."

"He's not the man from this morning is he? I mean he does have red hair like you described."

Waving Misao off, she replied, "Of course not."

Smiling intuitively, Misao watched the color climb up Kaoru's neck. "He is isn't he?"

Lowering her gaze and shooting Misao a glare, Kaoru retorted. "Don't say anything to anyone."

"Who would I tell? My mother would have heart attack, my father isn't with us at the moment, and if you already haven't noticed I'm not extremely chummy with anyone our age here. So, Kaoru," she said her eyes twinkling with mischief as she placed a hand on her friend's arm, "your secret is safe with me."

Kaoru took her purchased items and moved away from her friend. Over her shoulder, she relied, "You are entirely too dramatic."

"Which is why you love me."

"Ha!" she burst out as they departed, stepping once more outside. The sun was bright on Kaoru's eyes, and she had the sudden urge to look around for the anomalous earl who had bright red hair and kind violet eyes. But as the strange feeling in her chest grew, a nagging of commonsense interrupted her and Kaoru bit her lip. In all honesty, she would be much better off if she never saw him again.

Yes. Hopefully, she'd never set eyes on him again. She had had enough drama in her life these past few months to last a lifetime. Sucking in a deep breath, Kaoru turned to Misao and walked with her toward the carriage.


	2. Quiet Moments

**Author's Note**: So I don't have to work today, and I figured now was a perfect time to post the next chapter since I managed to proofread/revise last night.

And a special thanks to all of those who reviewed the first chapter: **I Heart Edward Cullen**, **Unicornfan**, **ixchen**, **Reignashii**, **Royal blueKitsune**, **crazy fanfic lover**, **Valaroma**, **toxiclollipop**, **Lendra-chan**, **animeLCgrl**, **Arwey**, **Anonymous but very interested **(all of your questions _will_ be answered, have no doubt), and **Super Sheba**. Here's to hoping you guys continue with the reviews! (grin)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

**A Soft Hope**

* * *

_**Chapter 2**_

_Quiet Moments_

* * *

It was a crisp morning, slightly overcast and damp from midnight showers. The dewy grass hushed Kaoru's determined footsteps as her breath escaped in small puffs while she scanned her surroundings. Placing a hand on top of her head to keep her loosely tied bonnet in place, Kaoru squinted against the smooth wind.

She set down her wooden easel in the grass on top of a small knoll overlooking a particularly scenic pond. She placed her folding chair behind the easel and after setting down the little bag containing her paints, Kaoru reached up underneath her chin to untie the blue ribbon of her bonnet. Pulling the concealing hat from her head, she brushed her ruffled bangs from her eyes and sat the hat down on top of her paint bag to keep the delicate material from soaking in the grass's dew. Kaoru settled slowly onto the folding chair, and then smoothed her blue skirts so they remained out of her way, which allowed her a more liberty with her movements.

Through explanation and entreating elucidations, Kaoru had whittled away the baroness' protests about painting alone without a chaperone. Admittedly, it had been a hard feat, especially after her riding mishap, but she had succeeded. It was nice that the baroness worried about her wellbeing, but Kaoru needed…_no_, she craved an independence that wasn't available at the estate.

Preferring to at least have a rough sketch of what she planned to paint on the canvas, Kaoru pulled out a drawing pencil and turned her gaze to the quaint scenery before her as a slight smile of satisfaction curved her lips.

The lines of her pencil marks were faint and loose as she sketched the countryside before her. Relaxing as her concentration narrowed more intimately with her drawing, Kaoru caught her lower lip between her teeth and furrowed her brow in attentive deliberation.

She remained in this position of concentration for the next forty minutes, her interest fixed solely on her art. In that relatively narrow window of time, the rough outline she had originally set down mentally for the paint to fill in and blur had almost been completed.

Leaning back, Kaoru ran her free hand against the back of her neck, stretching her now cramped muscles. Her heavy hair was beginning to loosen from the pins she had placed in the dark mass earlier that morning. Glancing down at her hands momentarily, she noticed her fingertips were blotchily stained with pencil-lead. In a poor attempt to clean them, she wiped her fingers against a clean handkerchief she procured from her paint bag.

She was almost finished wiping her pinky finger clean when a voice off the side, touched with undertones of humor, rudely interrupted her thoughts.

"And so we meet again."

Startled, Kaoru felt the handkerchief drop to her lap as she whipped her gaze up to meet a pair of warm violet eyes staring at her curiously. Eyes narrowing slightly, she laid her hands down onto her lap and sighed, surprise apparent on her features.

"Are you following me?" Kaoru retorted belligerently, a spark of boldness flashing in her eyes.

His eyes crinkled as he chuckled, stepping closer to her and cocking his head to the side. "No, I'm not. Though, it is interesting that I've only known of your existence for a handful of days, and I've already encountered you now three times. Quite a coincidence."

"Mmm," Kaoru started, shifting her position in her chair to face him more fully. "That is true. Except, I'm aware of your name this time. And, of course, your title."

The man who Kaoru now knew as the Earl of Glairmoor was dressed in a causal shirt and trousers, his sleeves rolled up and his shoes scuffed with mud. His long red hair was pulled back in a ponytail that slid down his back, and his face was warmly flushed from morning exercise.

Slipping his hands casually in his pockets, the earl moved his attention to the nearby pond, his eyes watching the preening wildlife. Pursing her lips, Kaoru studied him quietly. She had found over the years that she was fairly good at judging people, and although it easy to deduce that the earl seemed innately kind, his violet eyes held a unique light of humanity she had never noticed before in anyone else.

Dropping the handkerchief on her bag of supplies, Kaoru stood up, sidestepping her easel and strolling over to stand beside him. "So is this your regular routine? Do you walk here every morning to see the pond?"

"Is this a way to pry my morning schedule from me?"

She smiled. "Just curious."

"Well," he started, "I actually rode here on my horse. I prefer to ride in the morning. There's usually no one out and I have the area to myself." He paused and turned to her, a corner of his mouth turning up a little. "Though, with you around lately, that statement is blaringly incorrect."

Kaoru clasped her hands behind her back. "I guess that's because we must think alike. The freshness of the morning always energizes me for the day."

"The main draw for me is the quietness. It's good to have some peace at least sometime during the day."

Kaoru seemed to find some secret amusement in that statement, her lips curling as she tried to suppress a muted laugh. "You have no idea." Was she referring to the woman she had been with the other day?

He watched her, taking in her open expression. "I see you're a painter?"

She shrugged slightly, almost hesitant. "I dabble. It helps me think sometimes."

"Portraits or just landscapes?"

Kaoru's eyes lightly flickered with an unreadable emotion before she quickly turned away to look at the scenery she was depicting so carefully on her canvas. "Only landscapes for now."

"You'll have to show me when you're done. My mother was a painter. I loved watching her paint when I was little."

An easy smile curved Kaoru's lips. "Did you? My parents had no artistic ability whatsoever. They claimed a passing gypsy sprinkled her talent on me."

A heavy intake of solemn breath accompanied his next words. "Unfortunately it's the opposite for me. My mother possessed the gift and I inherited no artistic talent at all."

"Oh, everyone can at least draw a little," Kaoru responded, slightly disbelieving.

Shaking his head with a tilted smile, he responded, "Not me."

"What do you prefer to spend your time doing, then? Fencing? Gambling? Horsemanship? You'll have to pardon me, I'm not at all up to date on men's hobbies," Kaoru asked, her eyes alight with an innocent inquisitiveness.

"No. None of those, unfortunately," he countered, inwardly entertained by her list. "I rarely have time for anything these days, because I've been helping out a friend with his shipping business. It seems all I do is look at accounts and formulate industrial plans to help with profits." He watched as she eyed him with palpable speculation.

"I think I prefer my painting."

"Yes, that is a much more enjoyable pastime," The earl sighed, turning his gaze to sky, studying the sun for a moment as it crested higher above the treetops. "It's about time I started heading back home. My friend will be displeased if I waste away another morning without helping him arrange his business dealings."

"Well, we'll probably run into each other again somehow. I'm not leaving the countryside anytime soon." Kaoru paused, hesitating slightly. "It was nice seeing you again. Especially under different and less dangerous circumstances."

The earl smiled his agreement and inclined his head slightly. "Goodbye, Miss Kamiya."

From where she was standing, she watched him walk confidently down the small knoll, and toward a chestnut mare tied next to a wide-birthed tree. Running his hand down her neck, he easily mounted and moved away, disappearing from Kaoru's sight.

Sighing, Kaoru moved back to her easel and reluctantly decided that it was time for her to depart as well. The last thing she needed was to have Misao and the baroness worry, even though they were aware of her general whereabouts.

After collecting everything, she began her tedious journey back on foot. As Kaoru walked, her hands tight on her supplies, she found herself thinking of the unusually open conversation she'd had with a virtual stranger, and she felt her mind involuntary return to the handsome face of the man who had the uncanny ability to pop out of nowhere.

And now that she thought about, how on earth did he manage that? She hadn't heard him or his horse approach. Kaoru scrunched her nose in meditation and shifted her grip on her bag of paints. Deciding she had been caught off guard, because she had been captured deeply in her work, Kaoru belatedly excused his stealth as she lifted her head when she heard the steady pounding of hooves charging closer and closer to her walking form.

Frowning, she recognized Misao cantering sidesaddle toward her on her unruly little mare. Kaoru halted her progress as Misao came to a quick halt beside her, leaning back in the saddle and taking a deep breath.

Misao stared down at her silently for a moment before parting her lips to speak. "I was getting worried," she expressed suddenly at Kaoru's quiet stare, studying her searchingly. "I know that when you get caught up painting, you lose all sense of time. I thought you had forgotten our brunch plans with my mother at Stirling Hall, and I was coming to get you."

"Oh, yee of little faith," Kaoru mumbled. "I may get caught up, but I do remember my responsibilities."

Misao made a sound that sounded an awfully lot like a snort. Kaoru sent her a sardonic glare.

"Here, Madame Perfection," Kaoru started, lifting up the small bag of supplies she carried with her. "Take this with you, will you? I'll keep the easel and the chair, but all of this stuff is getting quite heavy. I think I'll bring Alistair next time so he can get some exercise, and I can get some help carrying everything to that knoll."

"I told you it was far," Misao replied, taking the bag from Kaoru's upraised arm.

"Yes, yes, I know. I wanted to see for myself. Now I know, and I agree."

Kaoru began walking once more with the easel and chair held together underneath her right arm. Misao turned her mare around and kept her pace the same as Kaoru's, opting to join her friend on the way back to the estate instead of merely riding ahead.

* * *

The next morning, Kaoru did as she had told Misao the previous day. Deciding to forgo lugging all her materials, she enlisted the help of her trusty steed. The only annoyance she could have done without was riding sidesaddle in a lady's appropriate clothing. She could feel Alistair rein in his exuberance, knowing that when the sidesaddle was used, his freedom with her was limited. Unfortunately, Kaoru couldn't justify wearing her pants and cotton shirt when the possibility of being seen was very high, so respectability was the dress code for the day…much to her consternation. 

As weather went, not much had changed between this day and the one before. The clouds were still present in full force, and their heavy masses were colored a soft gray, hinting at a possible morning shower.

Kaoru hoped the morning stayed free of any rain. The practical side of her was slightly tempered with trepidation at the thought of becoming drenched along with her materials. Though, the painter in her was happy for the overcast weather. She wouldn't have to make any adjustments to what she had decided to do yesterday.

Once she reached her spot, Kaoru dismounted, and began collecting and untethering her equipment from Alistair's saddle, finally setting it off to the side. Since she didn't know how long she would be there, and she felt comfortable removing and then putting back on Alistair's tack, Kaoru liberated the stallion from his restraints, allowing him to graze freely. She put the tack over on a fallen tree that was lying on its side, and then turned to remove her bonnet as she had the day before, setting it aside near the saddle.

As she stepped over to her supplies, Kaoru pulled her white gloves from her fingers, deciding it was much easier to clean stray paint from her bare fingertips than off a new, expensive pair of gloves. Fully aware of her impending painting, Kaoru had also come prepared with a protective frock to wear over her dress.

She set the canvas on the easel, and settled onto her chair. Because the outline was already drawn, Kaoru set to immediate work, compiling her paints and choosing which section to begin with. Deciding to begin with the grass, Kaoru grabbed the green and accessory paints, and began to mix them to obtain a color as identical to real thing as possible.

Biting her lip, she narrowed her gaze and…

"I thought you would already be a bit farther," a familiar voice mused from behind her, causing her hand to jerk and spread an even mixture of green and yellow into a blob of white on her pallet.

Kaoru looked up slowly as the redheaded earl walked around to face her, and when he came into eyesight, she shot him a hard stare. He remained apparently oblivious of her immediate discontent, still wordlessly questioning her unfortunate lack of progress.

"Well, I _did_ just arrive. It takes a while to mix the colors to the correct shade," she retorted flatly.

The earl looked down at her pallet, "I do think there's a little too much white in that green of yours," he remarked, eyeing her mishap.

Kaoru stared at him a moment before removing the paintbrush from the paint and sucking in a deep, fortifying breath. "Yes, I know."

He turned away from her, quickly hiding the small smile that touched his lips. He caught sight of Alistair not far away. "Ah, I see you've ridden as well. Is it farther here than you thought?"

"A little."

"I did the same thing when I first arrived here. I wandered a bit too far and came close to losing my way, but I have a good sense of direction, so I saved myself from an embarrassing debacle."

Kaoru watched as he walked forward, away from her and down a small incline a few feet away. He was dressed similarly to the day before, preferring to be more casual than stylish for the morning outing. Kaoru watched his striking hair as it was tousled by a gentle, passing breeze.

"Why did you choose to paint here?" he asked, catching her attention.

Setting her pallet down in her lap, she sighed. "It's a nice example of the local countryside. Quiet, sedate, and unassuming, which is vastly different from the busy congestion of London."

He smiled almost distractively. "Some thrive on the city's energy."

"It's nice to experience the fast pace and glorious activity that society has to offer, but it got almost routine in my opinion. I have found that once you've attended the numerous functions several times, it's almost always the same afterwards," Kaoru frowned, glancing back at her canvas, which had yet to be painted on. "It's nice to take a break and experience something different."

"Like almost running people over with your horse?" the earl asked, his face pulled into a serious line, though Kaoru could almost make out the muted amusement he partially concealed in the amethyst depths.

Watching him, she replied slowly, "Well that, too. Though I would have preferred it to be a group of people instead of just you. The more carnage the merrier, you know?"

"You're quite bloodthirsty, aren't you?"

Kaoru nodded immediately, her eyebrows drawn in a thin line. "Very." She sat there for a moment, her mouth quivering as she tried to vainly suppress her blooming amusement. Watching his calm features, Kaoru found she couldn't hold her obvious mirth in any longer. Bending over as she laughed, the earl watched her with a fond smile on his face, though there was an almost melancholic glint in his gaze. When she looked up, her laughter still spilling into the air, he masked the slight slip, and felt a smile grow on his own lips, showing pleasure at her joviality.

"You have the uncanny ability to make me want to hit you and then a moment later you manage to make me smile. How is that, do you think?" she asked, catching her breath and cocking her head quizzically.

"It must be the womanizer in me."

"Somehow I doubt that."

He chuckled. "Am I that transparent?"

"No," she denied. "You're just not the type that strikes me as a vain peacock who prides himself in…ah…stalking young women."

Ducking his head as he grinned, the earl nodded. "I guess so. Aoshi fits the physical description for that better than I do."

"Lord Shinomori?" Kaoru asked, her interest piqued for Misao's sake. "He's like that?"

Raising his eyebrows, he shook his head. "Not personality wise. But he has the looks to pull it off."

Kaoru didn't respond, watching as the earl walked back up the small incline towards her as she remained seated in the small chair. His body language signaled his impending departure, though his face held a nearly apologetic look.

"Like yesterday, the responsibilities are mounting," he told her, slipping his hands into his pockets. He bent down a little to be more eye-to-eye with her sitting form. "I hope you have nice day, Miss Kamiya."

"Same to you, Lord Himura," Kaoru replied quietly, her sapphire gaze locking with his violet. Feeling an unexpected flush creep up her neck and spill onto her cheeks, Kaoru watched as he straightened, gave her one more smile, then broke eye contact. Turning, he started back to his horse that he had tethered in same place as the day before.

* * *

Misao watched from the second floor window as Kaoru led her beloved horse into the stable after returning from her second painting escapade. Watching her friend willingly paint and take part in their holiday lifted a dark cloud from Misao's mind that she hadn't realized had been so crushing. With the death of her parents, Kaoru had escaped within herself, mentally shutting down and shunning all that she knew. That swift downward spiral had scared the death out of her, making her want to step in and order Kaoru to get better. She had wanted so much to give Kaoru a good shove, and snap her out of her continuing haze of depression. 

But telling Kaoru to do something only made her more determined to do the exact opposite, and through years of experience, Misao knew that brow-beating would serve no purpose, and only alienate the pair, and maybe even tear them apart.

The idea to ask Kaoru to go to Kent with her and her mother had been a spur of the moment decision. Though Misao had told Kaoru that the trip had been planned for months, she had confronted her mother about the travel plans after she had asked Kaoru to join them. Usually they left for the country a month later than their departure this year, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Thankfully nothing had stood in their way. The only wrinkle in her plan was her father. He'd had to stay in London and deal with a visiting business partner.

Sighing, Misao stepped back from the window, and moved to a cushy chair in the corner. To say she had been surprised when Kaoru had expressed her desire to paint again would be a gross understatement. Misao only hoped that Kaoru would be able to keep up with this new spirit of rejuvenation that she had clicked into.

Though she couldn't take the pain away from her, Misao would try to help Kaoru move past it, because that's what best friends are there for.

And she planned to live up to that title.

* * *

It was the fifth morning of her painting exploits, and Kaoru was beginning to like the progress her artwork was taking. The couple days before had been wonderful days, full of progress. The quietness had wrapped around her, giving her a superb working environment that allowed great advancements to be made. But despite the peacefulness of the mornings, there had been hole. 

A hole in the form of a redheaded earl.

She had yet to arrive at the pond this morning. The rhythmic strides of Alistair's walk were soothing as she contemplated. In her mind's eye, she had already laid out what she would accomplish, or at least try to accomplish. Sometimes it was hard to tell how much work she'd actually be able to get done. Today she hoped to get quite a bit finished so she could start on some of the more difficult detailed parts of the piece.

Alistair shook his head as he paced forward, his steps light and energized. Kaoru patted his neck as they neared their destination, speaking affectionately to him with a smooth voice. When she looked up from her horse, she froze, her gaze catching the lone man standing near the pond, his interest captured by the native feathered inhabitants dancing happily in the water. As they neared, he must have heard them, for he turned, giving Kaoru a good view of exactly what he was doing.

It seemed he had a soft spot for the geese, his left hand holding a small loaf of bread, which he was currently handing out in generous portions. He turned back to the geese, throwing down what he had left in his hand as Kaoru halted Alistair at the top of the knoll. Brushing his hands against his trousers, the earl walked toward her, his eyes riveted to her face. Though his stature was short compared to many men, as he came up to stand beside Alistair, there was a unique quality about him that made him seem anything but small.

"Hullo," he greeted, reaching up to help her down from her lofty perch. Kaoru leaned forward allowing him to assist, not wanting appear rude by refusing. Or at least that's what she told herself. His hands tightened around her narrow waist, holding onto her tightly with ease, and lowering her safely and slowly to the ground as Kaoru returned a mumbled greeting in response. He removed his hands from her waist, letting her take Alistair's reins.

"Where were you?" she blurted out suddenly, inwardly wincing afterwards, wishing she could take that blunt question back.

He raised an eyebrow. "Business monopolized my time. I promise to never let it happen again." His mouth curved into a small teasing smile.

"That's not what I - that is, I didn't mean to snap. Sorry. It was just different these past two days."

"Different good, or different bad?"

"I don't know."

He chuckled. "I wanted to give you time to work without my hovering. I'm assuming you've made progress."

"Some."

"Can I see?"

"I don't know."

"Well, whenever you're comfortable."

Not wanting him to feel as if she had snubbed him, Kaoru said "It's just usually no one sees my paintings before they are finished, except me. It's unusual that you've seen as much as you have."

He watched her lips twist into an uncertain frown. "I understand. But, think about it this way…since I've already had a glimpse, it wouldn't hurt for another."

As Kaoru turned to remove her supplies from Alistair's saddle, she shook her head at his response, a little amazed at his tenacity. He helped her as she responded, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have a second opinion. Though, you're going to have to take into account that the painting is obviously going to be rough."

"My mother was a painter, remember? I believe I have the right résumé to critique your work." He took the easel and chair from her hands and set them down on the ground, ignoring her small sound of protest. Reaching past her, he started to remove Alistair's tack, unmindful to Kaoru's sardonic stare.

"I can do that," she said, motioning to the saddle he held in his arms.

"True, but it would be ungentlemanly for me to stand back and let you do all the work without offering my help."

"You didn't even offer. You just did it," she retorted dryly.

As he set the saddle and bridle down, he countered, "Chivalry."

"Chivalry!" she exclaimed, a surprise laugh escaping her lips. "You're just trying to show off your masculine talents."

He raised his eyebrows as he straightened up and placed his hands on his hips. He thought for a moment. Deciding to humor her, he asked, "Well, is it working?"

"No."

"What a shame."

Choosing to ignore him, Kaoru turned her back and started to set her materials up, listening for sounds behind her to signal the earl's movement. She wasn't surprised when she heard none. The man practically floated.

Kaoru set out her easel, removed her canvas from the protective cloth covering, and pulled open her chair. Gathering her supplies, she blinked at the painting, trying to find her bearings and remember where she wanted to start. It was increasingly hard, knowing that that man's eyes were searing flaming holes into her back. She tried in vain to mix a soft blue with white to create a pretty color for the clouds, but because of her jittery hands, she added too much white and ended up with an odd conglomeration that she was not proud of in the least.

Lifting her head and turning, intent on bruising the pesky earl with a sharp tongue, she felt her lips part soundlessly while her eyes clouded with confusion when she found him missing.

Missing?

Mumbling to herself that if he could appear without sound, he was very capable of disappearing just as quietly, Kaoru turned back around, her lips pursed questionably. She had been about to return to her work when a flash of red caught the corner of eye.

Gazing off in that direction, she noticed the earl kneeling near the waterside, a piece of bread outstretched in his fingers as a meager meal for the willife.

Kaoru felt the breath expel suddenly from her chest, not even having realized that she had been holding it. Flickering her gaze back to the drying paint on her pallet, Kaoru sighed and went to work, trying to salvage the horrible mixture of paint and transform it into a workable color.

Minutes later, with the right shade of blue, Kaoru touched brush to canvas. She let the smooth strokes caress the fabric, melting together and forming the creamy fullness of a sweeping cloud. She had finished two more such beautiful structures held loftily in the sky when she noticed the earl coming closer, his steps wide. Surprised that he still remained, especially after an extended amount of time had passed, Kaoru looked up.

"Why are you still here?" she blurted out when he was within earshot.

"No obligations to fill."

She watched as he stopped a few feet from her and sat down in the grass, spreading his legs out in front of him.

"What are you doing?"

He leaned back. "Taking a rest. I didn't get much sleep last night." He settled back against the ground, shifting his arms behind his head and closing his eyes, relaxing easily in the grass.

Kaoru blinked with surprise, opening her mouth to respond, but after a few seconds, decided against it when she came up with nothing to say. She glanced at his prone form once more before turning back to her work. The next thirty minutes of progress were peppered with movements as she constantly glanced from her painting to the man sleeping in the grass. She wondered what Misao would think if she was here.

Shaking off her random thoughts, Kaoru tried to get her mind to cooperate with her again, and desist the annoying wanderings. Dipping her paintbrush into a deeper blue, Kaoru made the final touches on her sky, trying to make it look realistic and give it a layered effect of depth. Once satisfied, she lowered the brush and sat back a little, trying to get a good feel of the current developments. She nibbled her lower lip in concentration as she flicked her gaze from the painting to the real-life landscape.

Sliding her gaze to the earl, Kaoru sucked in a deep breath, her eyes narrowing and her lips pursing in thought. She looked back at the painting, and then back at him again.

"Do you mind if I call you by your given name?"

He was obviously startled by sudden the request.

Tenseness seeped through her limbs as she frowned, the boldness of her question making her unexpectedly uncomfortable. Her sapphire gaze interlocked with his inquiring violet eyes.

He was still relaxed against the ground, his head lifted a little. He was obviously taken off guard for he answered in flummoxed tone, "Why?"

"A first name basis signifies familiarity, I know, but if you're going to be critiquing my artwork, I feel it is necessary."

"Necessary?" he parroted.

Raising an eyebrow, she countered, "Yes."

The earl was still for a few moments as he studied her face, admiring the stubborn tilt to Kaoru's jaw as she stared down at him from her higher position. "So, I will be able to view your painting, then? And also tell you what I think of it?"

"Yes."

He pushed himself up, bending his legs and slinging an arm over his knees. "I can find no plausible argument to counter your demand, so my answer is yes."

"Good. But, not in public and you…can call me by my given name as well."

"Is Miss Kaoru fine?"

She nodded slowly, and viewed him with a slightly cautious stare.

"Kenshin," he quietly reminded her.

"Kenshin," she said, tasting his name on her lips.

"Yes, Miss Kaoru," he replied. "Kenshin Himura. I prefer that to my title, in all honesty anyways. It's not as stogy."

"I don't think you could be a stogy man if you tried," she told him, wryly. "You don't have to pot belly to pull it off."

Kenshin smiled in response, though he remained silent. Taking that as a cue to continue working, Kaoru cleaned her paintbrush with a small bit of water and began to mix a new color.

Kenshin remained quiet and introspective, his body reclining easily in the grass until Kaoru decided to call it a day. As she started to pack up her things, he moved to saddle Alistair who had wandered off to the other side of the pond. Letting the painting sit out to dry a little more, Kaoru stood back and watched as he brought her horse around and saddled him quietly, his movements methodical.

Kenshin was different from anyone she had ever met, Kaoru mused. There was something unique - something terribly exotic about him that she couldn't quite place her finger on.

And when he turned to face her, for the first time she noticed a cross-shaped scar. Deep slashing marks covered the tanned skin of his left cheek. How on earth had she missed that? Looking down, Kaoru shook her head slightly.

Maybe she needed a pair of those spectacles that helped a person see?

As he neared, she squinted a little to see if she had been hallucinating.

Nope.

Still there.

She hoped fervently that it wasn't a cause of their little mishap almost a week ago. On closer inspection, Kaoru deduced that the scar was definitely older than a week.

"I got it at sea," Kenshin told her quietly, easily interpreting her bemused stare. "Naval battles aren't at all tame."

"You were a part of the royal navy?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Sort of. I've stepped down from captaining ships and have moved to the business side of the enterprise of shipping goods. My knowledge of the sea helps with many aspects."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I just hadn't noticed it until now, and I was wondering if I had…gone a little insane."

He seemed surprised by her comment. "You only just noticed it?"

She shrugged. "For being a painter, sometimes I'm horrible at getting the details." Stepping away from him, she gave a weak smile. "I'm especially bad about keeping track of time. I do believe Misao has probably already left to come and fetch me. It seems like today, I'll be leaving you here."

Kenshin hesitated a moment before nodding and moving to assist her get her equipment together. She gave him an annoyed stare when he moved to help her mount. Coalescing with a yielding smile, he stepped back to the side and watched her do it herself. Once mounted, she curtailed Alistair's initial steps of excitement as she sat deeply into the saddle. Giving Kenshin a parting glance, she steered her horse away, her head pointed forward.

She didn't catch Kenshin rub an absent hand over the cross-shaped scar, his eyes full of curiosity at her unusual admission.

Lost in her thoughts, Kaoru let Alistair steer them to their destination. She ran her fingers along the top of the saddle, her eyes clouded with inattention.

Kenshin had stayed the entire time that she painted. And most of that time he had kept to himself. No one had ever remained with her to that extent before as she worked, so it had been a new experience that she now found she unexpectedly enjoyed. The presence of another person, though a little unnerving at first, had turned out to be pleasantly nice in the end. He had managed to chase away the pervasive loneliness that she had started to associate with her painting.

How novel…

Now that she knew what it felt like to have company - silent company - while painting, she didn't know if she'd ever enjoy painting as much anymore when alone.

Sighing heavily, Kaoru felt herself smile. She liked the conversations she had with him, but she truly found that the quiet moments were the best.

* * *

And what dost thou thinkest? (grins) Leave me a review if you have the time... 


	3. Stolen Moments

**Author's Note**: To avoid any confusion, I'd like to state that this chapter is a direct continuation of the last. It's still the same day/same morning where I left off in chapter 2. Kaoru is still on her way back to Stirling Hall from those few hours of painting.

Hope everyone enjoys!

I'd like to offer a special thanks those who reviewed the last chapter (in order of who reviewed first): **lere**, **Royal blueKitsune**, **Reignashii**, **crazy fanfic lover**, **unknown beedee**, **ChildlikeEmpress**, **sulou**, **ixchen**, **nebulia**, **ola**, **I Heart Edward Cullen **(Alistair is a celtic/gaelic name meaning defender of men), **Anonymous but very interested**, **toxiclollipop**, **Lendra-chan**, **MikaylaMae**, and **Andorea**.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

**A Soft Hope**

* * *

_**Chapter 3**_

_Stolen Moments_

* * *

Kaoru urged Alistair into a fast pace walk, watching as his head rose in pattern with his extended gait. The morning activities had distracted her significantly, causing her internal clock to veer off course.

The midday sun was beginning to heat the air, the humidity causing wisps of hair at the nape of her neck to curl. Switching the reins to one hand, Kaoru relaxed into the smooth curve of the saddle, letting her body move with Alistair's recurring steps. She had abstained from donning her confining bonnet when she set off, and she didn't regret the decision. The weak breeze brushing her features did not help to disturb the uncomfortable air surrounding her.

Kaoru sighed when the large stable came into sight. Alistair's ears flicked forward and he lowered his head slightly, showing he was aware of the imminent ending to his outing. Letting her mind drift back to her conversation with Misao the previous evening, Kaoru felt a frown cover her lips, drawing the edges of her mouth down with consternation.

Apparently, tonight would be an evening of dressing up and parading around - one smiles and fancy cuisine. Though they were in the country, there were other established families in the middle of their own country getaway in the surrounding area that liked to host moderate gatherings while out of the presence of the city. Usually, these occasions ended up being house parties where a gaggle of people came and stayed for an inordinate amount of time in the host house. Thankfully the function they would attend tonight was only a mere night gathering with only a few select guests remaining overnight.

Kaoru found some comfort in knowing that tomorrow would be blissfully free of itinerary, allowing her plenty of time to relax at the estate. Nibbling her lower lip, Kaoru thought of the time when dinner parties and balls had been a new, exhilarating experience that she had anticipated and savored. The novelty of the outings had been particularly enlivening. In the past, she found she could attend numerous events in the span of a couple weeks without letting fatigue wrap around her. Now, that helpful stamina had deserted her, and Kaoru preferred to minimize her activities of party going, only agreeing to attend this particular gathering so as not to be rude to her hosts.

Blinking, her thoughts were disrupted as Alistair slowed his pace as they neared the opening of the stable, the sounds of other horses signaling their immediate arrival. Kaoru loosened her grip on the reins and gave Alistair extended freedom. Looking into the stable, Kaoru caught sight of Misao as the other woman readied herself to mount her own horse, obviously intent on finding Kaoru and dragging her back. Noticing Kaoru, Misao ceased her movements, sighing deeply and dropping her arms to her sides.

Kaoru dismounted with ease, pulling the reins over Alistair's head and then down so she could lead him to his stall so he could be unsaddled and later fed. Misao watched her friend with an ironic tilt to her lips, and finally moved away from her horse with an almost thwarted slant to her shoulders.

The sable boy hurried over, helping to remove Alistair's tack while Kaoru gathered her stuff. Misao stopped in front of the stall and placed her hands down on the edge of the stall's window.

"I thought you had forgotten again. You stayed out there pretty long today," Misao said, tapping her fingertips against the wood of the stall.

"I wanted to get more work accomplished than in the previous days," she responded. Kaoru exited the stall, closing the door firmly behind her. Clutching her supplies in her arms, her fingers struggled to keep their tedious hold on the loose items. Misao quickly took the canvas from Kaoru, helpfully making sure it hit nothing that would damage the surface.

Eyeing the splotchy mess Kaoru had made of her hands, Misao wrapped her free hand around Kaoru's arm and walked with her out of the barn. "Come on. We need to get all that paint off your fingers. We have some big plans for tonight."

"A dinner party?" Kaoru asked dryly, anticipating that announcement. "But, why? I thought the country was supposed to be quiet."

Kaoru swore she saw Misao roll her eyes. "No, not a dinner party like we initially believed," she replied, surprising Kaoru. "Tonight will be a rather formal affair."

Kaoru knew that look in Misao's eyes. Groaning, she leaned her head back. "Oh, no. Not a ball. Didn't we go to enough of those in London? I'm still tired from all that dancing…and my mouth is still sore from smiling at everyone."

"Oh, perk up, Kaoru," Misao replied, smiling soothingly. "You knew we were going to go to one eventually."

"In my inanity, I must have stupidly thought that ignoring the possible predicament would flush it away."

"I've tried it. It doesn't work."

"Obviously." Kaoru scrunched up her nose, crossly saying, "You're unusually excited about this."

"No, I'm not."

Eyeing her skeptically, Kaoru nodded. "Yes, you're definitely excited about something."

"I'm always interested in these things," Misao replied as they entered the house. "My excitement is natural."

Still not believing her, Kaoru found it hard to remain silent, but remain silent is what she did, letting Misao jabber on about something she'd done that morning.

Maybe Misao's excitement had something to do with the possibility of running into Lord Shinomori? Knowing how her friend's mind worked, Kaoru noticed that the chatter was more filler than informative, and though Misao was always animated, today there was something different about her expression…something that made her seem more feminine…not that she was masculine in any way. Misao had grown up as a tomboy who had fallen in love with dresses and girl paraphernalia later on in her teens…in fact her transformation had been after visiting Kent one summer.

Interesting, now that Kaoru thought about it. A coincidence?

Today Misao's excitement brought a pretty flush to her face, her eyes sparkling happily. Kaoru almost envied her friend of the carefree emotions that came so easily to her. But, in truth, she was content to watch her this way. Smiling to herself as they made their way upstairs, Kaoru listened to Misao and silently scrutinized her as she expressed poorly veiled anticipation.

* * *

Later that night, Kaoru stood in front of the full-length mirror in her room, a nervous menagerie of butterflies taking root in her stomach. She was dressed more regally than she had ever before, the dress adorning her body a beautiful sheer navy blue that complimented the darkness of her hair. She felt slightly uncomfortable in the fancy dress. Fidgeting, she ran a hand down the front of her gown, straightening imaginary wrinkles. She wasn't nervous about the high society situation per say, but mingling with a crowd of people she knew practically to nothing about had her mildly uneasy.

Misao cluttered around behind her, her own dress ruffling as she moved about almost frantically, readying herself for the long awaited event. She had been meticulously methodical in her countless preparations.

Turning away from the mirror, Kaoru watched her friend fondly. Moving over to place a calm hand on her arm, she raised an inquiring eyebrow. Misao slowed her pace, taking a deep breath and linking her arm through Kaoru's.

"I need to slow down, don't I," she asked, smiling sheepishly.

"Just a little."

There was small knock on the door and the baroness stepped into the room, a large, pleased smile pasted on her face.

"You two always made such a pretty duo. I'm still surprised neither of you have snatched a husband yet. Misao certainly has had some offers," she stated, proudly. She shot her daughter a mystified look as she thought of Misao's rejections of each suitor.

Reading her mother's expression correctly, Misao retorted, "I turned them all down for extremely valid reasons."

"You were holding out for someone in particular," Kaoru whispered only for Misao's ears. Misao surreptitiously stepped on the inside of Kaoru's foot without catching her mother's attention.

"I'll marry when the right man comes along. And Kaoru plans to do the same," she retorted.

Smiling and nodding for effect, Kaoru bit her lip to hold back her amusement at Misao's blatant brush-off of her mother.

"I'm sure Misao will be working hard on snatching, er, finding that perfect man," Kaoru told the older woman with a comforting smile. "But I do believe that we have someplace to be right now, and we are currently behind schedule."

Misao and her mother reacted at the same time, hurrying and pulling Kaoru forward, one purpose prevalent in their mind.

"Come, Kaoru. You'll be so excited," Misao's mother told her as they hastily walked down the hallway.

* * *

'Excited?' Kaoru thought two hours later as she settled wearily onto one of the cushioned chairs lining the large ballroom. Frankly, she could find no difference between this overcrowded, over anticipated event and one of the balls she had attended in London last year. There were entirely too many preening young woman, too many fawning young men, too many ambitious mothers, and thoroughly not enough air in the overstuffed room. Kaoru had slipped away from the two women she arrived with, leaving them to enjoy their evening without her tagging along and slowing down the frenzied-like pace they adapted.

Waving a hand in front of her to allow a semblance of a breeze to slip over her hotly flushed face, Kaoru leaned back and closed her eyes, going over the evening methodically in her cluttered mind. They had arrived, according to Misao's mother, stylishly late. Misao had been caught up in the flirtatious revelry the moment she stepped foot into the ballroom.

More sedate in her approach, Kaoru had not been lacking in dance partners, though she felt she did lack the uppity spirit needed to fully enjoy such a social and dynamic event. Her feet ached inside her dancing slippers and a small pain pressed tightly in the side of her head. She found herself wishing for a private spot where she could refresh her mind and body, and take in a much-needed breath of fresh air.

Opening her eyes, Kaoru scanned the room, her gaze going over the countless people. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of an open set of doors leading to an apparently vacant balcony. Deciding that was the cure to her increasing ailment, Kaoru stood and made her way through the throng of people to the private enclosure where hopefully she would be able to regain some inward composure.

The crowd of people she had to weave through was dense, and Kaoru hoped, as she made her way to her place of solitude, that no one would beat her there. Her desire was so great, she would be willing to fight for her privacy. But as she arrived, she decided that there would be no need for verbal tussling. The balcony was blissfully unoccupied, waiting for her to step out onto the suspended ledge. She closed the door behind her with a soft click, shutting herself off from the twirling enthusiasm of the ballroom. The thin glass doors effectively muted the fluttering music.

Closing her eyes, her face clearing as a dreamy breeze brushed over her features, Kaoru sighed happily.

How utterly refreshing.

Now _this_ was the highlight of her evening.

The night was clear with a dazzle of stars peppering the sky in a scattered brilliance that Kaoru had not taken the time to admire in quite awhile. The balcony overlooked the massive courtyard garden at the back of the mansion. Though her eyes couldn't really see much through the darkness, she was able to enjoy the heavenly scent of a variety of blossoms that assaulted her senses. Kaoru laid her hands down on the balcony railing, the coolness of the metal seeping through her gloves. The fresh calmness of the night relaxed her tensed muscles and allowed her to take a deep, fortifying breath.

Kaoru felt her inner peace begin to splinter as she heard the door click open behind her, the music from inside flooding out into the night. She turned slowly, almost apprehensively, not wanting to go back inside and leave her place of solace. When Kaoru lifted her gaze, she jerked initially, her eyes widening a little.

After scanning the face of the man who had been plaguing her mornings, the soothing relaxation that had quickly fled marginally returned, accompanied with curiosity. Kenshin was dressed eloquently, like a man of his titled station. His hair remained the same in that loose characteristic ponytail, allowing her create a link between the casual man and the elegant earl.

A mass of swirling emotion was tightly packed into his violet eyes as he stared at her almost hesitantly. He held the door handle, his frame still filling the doorway as he stood between two very different worlds - one filled with societal revelry, and the other containing Kaoru's quiet night utopia.

Kenshin's eyes seemed to search hers, trying to read her mood. When she remained mute, he stepped closer, letting the door close slightly, but not fully. He stopped a few feet away from her, the breeze threading through his bangs.

Kenshin slowly cocked his head to the side, and said in his smooth voice, "Would you dance with me?"

Kaoru felt a small smile curl her lips as she eyed him curiously. After a second, she extended her hand towards him in a wordless acceptance. With his hand, he enfolded hers gently, the warmth of his palm pleasant against hers. Kenshin pulled her body away from the railing and closer to his so his other hand could rest comfortably on her waist. Kaoru's eyebrows rose with question as he urged her to follow silently.

"On the balcony?"

"You like it out here better, don't you?" Kenshin ascertained, his voice soft and only for her ears.

Kaoru nodded. She was unaware of how he knew, but she felt pleasure curl in her stomach at his unexpected response.

"Then we'll dance on the balcony."

Kaoru placed one hand on his shoulder, her arm lying against the sloping angle of his own. Though the music was soft, slipping sedately through the small crack left by the open balcony door, it was just enough for the atmosphere to be clouded with anticipation. Unconsciously, Kaoru held her breath, her proximity to Kenshin causing her heart to mildly accelerate and her stomach to clench with a surprising pressure.

His hand tightened on her waist as he started to move with her to the music, his lulling steps easing her sudden tension a little. Her dress swished against her legs as their easy movements carried them across the small balcony - alone except for the hushed sounds of the night and the background music.

Their heights were fairly similar, with him only an inch or two taller than her. In comparison to other, taller men, it was unusual that she could actually dance with someone and be able to look into their eyes without having to crane her neck. Though on another note, if uncomfortable, staring at the buttons of a man's dress clothes did help pass the time quite nicely. But as Kaoru felt her gaze touch Kenshin's she didn't have any wish whatsoever to have him grow a few inches so she could escape from an awkward few minutes. This dance was anything _but_ uncomfortable.

As Kaoru settled in his arms, her mind relaxing more with the music, she felt the soreness of her feet melt away astonishingly, and she began to concentrate more on him than her fatigue.

With a half-smile, Kaoru tilted her head to the side. "You're lucky, you know," she started, breaking the encompassing silence. "You aren't expected to participate in all the dances." Kaoru eyed him inquisitively as she moved the hand resting on his shoulder closer to his neck, her fingertips brushing his hair.

"True. I can choose who and how many dances to partake in."

"Do you get bombarded by debutants vying for your title like many of the other titled men?"

"Not so much anymore. My public appearances are few and far between."

"Then why are you here?"

"I came with a friend."

"An escort?" she asked, questioning him none too subtly.

He hid his amusement quite well. "Just a friend. He's meeting a business acquaintance here, and asked if wanted to join him."

Kaoru impulsively breathed in deeply, her lips parting belatedly. Unconsciously, she noticed that he smelled of ginger and spices exotic to her. "Have you enjoyed your time here so far?"

Kenshin's eyes stared into hers almost pointedly, locking and holding for a moment before he answered, "There have been some special moments."

Not knowing how to interpret that comment, Kaoru replied, a sly smile on her lips, "Dance with that many girls, have you?"

"Only you."

Taken aback, she could only respond with a slightly dumbfounded, "Oh."

"But, I've only recently arrived," he told her, his eyes glinting with amusement.

"Ah, well that explains it. I was wondering why you would single me out. I really am a terrible dancer," she muttered, her bangs falling into her eyes as her gaze drifted down.

"You seem to be dancing fine," Kenshin told her, lowering his head to follow her line of vision and admire her small feet as she moved them in close unison with his.

"Well, don't talk to the majority of the men in there. I think I've left a wide collection of bruises that will keep them away from me forever."

"And that's bad, why?"

She laughed lightly. "Good point." Kaoru pursed her lips. "I'm a little surprised I haven't stepped on you yet."

"My unbelievable speed." Kenshin leaned in closer, his face in mere inches from her own. "I can anticipate mishaps."

"Well, you're going to have to teach me that," she murmured, admiring the small golden flecks interspersed through the violet in his vivid eyes. Funny…she had never noticed that before. He pulled back, and before she could react, took his hand off her waist and brushed her errant bangs from her eyes.

As Kenshin smiled sheepishly, she couldn't but help but be charmed.

He returned his hand to her waist, though slowed his steps, bringing them to a stop.

"I think the music has ended," he said. Kaoru slid her hand from his shoulder, but his steady grip on her other hand remained, and she didn't try to pull away. "Thank you for the dance, Miss Kaoru."

"It was a pleasure," she answered softly, her fingers slipping from his as he let go of her.

He took a step back. "I have to get back to my friend."

"Well, don't let me keep you."

As he was leaving, he placed his hand on the doorjamb, turning to face her once more. "And, Kaoru, a little bird told me the weather is supposed to be nice tomorrow morning."

"Well, imagine that," she murmured, watching him depart.

She stayed on the balcony a while longer, letting her mind untangle from the confusing web that was spun minutes ago. She stepped back against the railing, facing the glass windows.

Okay…so she had been wrong.

_That_ danc_e_ was the highlight of her evening.

A cool breeze slid around her lone form, wrapping her in the brilliant tranquility of the night. Shivering slightly, Kaoru sighed and moved toward the door.

When she walked back into the ballroom, Misao caught sight of her immediately, and grilled her tirelessly her about her absence. Kaoru told her that mounting exhaustion had caused her to depart for a while, and now that she had revived her ebbing energy, she was fine. As Kaoru danced a few more times, her eyes unconsciously searched for a single red-haired man. She caught sight of him a couple times in the company of a man she didn't know. She was a little surprised it wasn't Lord Shinomori, but more disappointed for Misao's sake. The man with him was a toweringly tall brunette who had a voice that carried far.

She noticed that Kenshin didn't dance with anyone else. And a few times when she sought him out, their gazes locked, because he was already looking at her.

* * *

They left late…very late. Misao's energy had finally started to wane, and the baroness was weary from the full night. The second Kaoru sat down in the carriage, she slipped her sore feet from the prison of her slippers, and let out a content sigh. She stretched her legs a little under the cover of her long skirt, her toes curling with pleasure and her aching muscles relaxing.

Misao sat down heavily beside her as the carriage door slammed shut behind her, and slumped against the back of the seat. Kaoru turned to look at her friend. Misao seemed to be brooding, her mouth pulled into an uncharacteristically thin line. Guessing that she was annoyed about a certain person's absence, Kaoru placed a comforting hand on her arm, reassuring her silently and hoping Misao would bounce back as quickly as she usually did.

"Are you okay?" Kaoru asked, concern apparent in her voice.

Sighing heavily, Misao nodded. "Yes. I'm fine."

"Busy night?"

She smiled distractively. "Busy enough."

"He'll be at the next one."

A nonchalant look passed over Misao's features as the wall of the carriage became suddenly fascinating. "Who?" she asked.

Kaoru smiled in response, leaning back against the seat. "No one, I guess."

Misao sniffed. "That's what I thought." She was silent for a moment as she her mind wandered. "Besides, he never attends these functions."

"He?"

Caught, Misao frowned, pointedly glaring at Kaoru. "Oh, hush."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Kaoru sighed. "Don't be shy. You practically talked about him for months after you met him. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't notice?"

"Not a very good one," she grumbled in response.

"That's what I thought."

"I think he really is scared of me. Did you see the way he looked at me when we ran into him and the man you almost killed?"

Rolling her eyes heavenward at Misao's last little comment, Kaoru replied, "I honestly didn't notice anything. He didn't so much as blink an eyelash."

Misao frowned, sinking down into the seat. "I know. It's so frustrating."

"I don't think he's scared of you, though."

"Why is that?"

"He doesn't seem the type to be scared of really anything."

"I hope so."

"Just stick it out. He'll come around."

Eyeing her friend suspiciously, Misao replied, "And why do you think that?"

"Because once you set your mind to something, you don't give until you get what you set out for."

"That's true."

"Yes, I know. I've had first hand experience."

* * *

The next day, Kaoru rose early hoping to catch a glimpse of the sun as it rose over the horizon, spreading fingers of orange and yellow across the sky. In the previous days, she had arisen early enough to view the beautiful sight twice. Both times had taken her breath away. But, as her eyes opened, hazed with sleep, she noticed that the room was still shaded with darkness. Blinking confusedly, she lifted her upper body from the mattress and brushed her hair from her eyes.

She had left the window open last night and a breeze slipped through the opening, blowing the curtains out. They were damp with moisture.

Pushing the covers back, Kaoru got up from the bed, her bare feet carrying her to the window. A few feet away, she sighed when she caught sight of the falling rain. A small puddle of water had accumulated on the floor underneath the window. The water was cool on her toes as she slowly stepped through it to close the window, swinging the glass shut and locking the latch. Thick rivulets of rain slid down the windowpane, blurring her view of the outside.

Kaoru wrapped her arms around her waist, her fingers clutching the cotton fabric of her nightgown. Her loose, dark hair hung down her back as she stared at the gray morning, disappointment clouding her thoughts.

She didn't know what 'little bird' Kenshin had talked to, but obviously he needed a new source for information, seeing as said informant wasn't doing a very good job. Sighing, Kaoru rolled her eyes as she stepped away from the window. What was she thinking? No one could really predict the weather. He had just been trying to be nice. And, well, he had succeeded.

But, it stunk that the one time Kaoru had actually _wanted_ to meet him at her painting knoll, there would be no way she could get there.

Deciding to take the day one step at a time, Kaoru returned to the welcoming comfort of her bed, burying her head into the pillow, a groan escaping her throat. Since there was nothing better for her to do at the moment, Kaoru flipped over on her side, pulling the warm blankets up to her shoulders and closing her eyes. Sleep would at least carry her further into the morning. Maybe she'd be lucky and the rain will have subsided by then.

A couple hours later, Kaoru woke again, this time her mind clear and wonderfully fresh. While she loved getting up early, there were also benefits to waking up a little late. She liked the complete feeling of rejuvenation that swept over her body.

Kaoru couldn't tell whether it was still raining from her vantage point in the bed, though. The room was still dim, but she had expected it to be shadowed from clouds. Getting up, she felt any hope of a mildly clear day slip from her mind as she saw that the heavy cloud cover that had dominated the sky earlier had gotten worse instead of better. Her mouth curling into a distasteful scowl, Kaoru turned away from the depressing scene, moving to her closet to get dressed. It was time she actually did something useful today.

Minutes later, dressed in a casual muslin gown, Kaoru made her way down the main staircase to the first floor. Her stomach growled loudly causing her to grimace with discomfiture. Food had already been laid out in the breakfast room, yet Kaoru was the only one present. She had either woken up very late, or despite sleeping in, she had woken up earlier than the other occupants. Piling her plate with food meant to sustain her, she moved over to a seat, settling down to eat the meal.

Beside Kaoru was a newspaper that was laid out for the baroness. Reaching her hand out, she pulled the paper closer to her, her eyes scanning the front page. Nothing interesting. Maybe a side article would be more entertaining.

She flipped through the paper as she ate the food, her preliminary dour mood lifting slightly. Good food always made her feel more in control.

The food was filling and when she finished, she picked up the plate, taking it through the side door of the breakfast room, which led to the warm kitchen. This had become her morning routine ever since she had arrived. At first the staff had chastised her, telling her to leave the plate at the table for them to collect, but since she was usually the only one there, it made her feel rude and untidy, so despite their protests she continued to bring them her dirty tableware.

A few servants stood near a window, their hands carefully washing the utensils and pots used to cook breakfast.

"Oh, Miss Kamiya!" a familiar servant named Polly uttered, catching sight of her. She was a plump middle-aged woman, her cheeks ruddy from work, and her eyes shining with benevolence. "I'll take those from you right away."

Kaoru smiled kindly as she handed over the dirty plates, watching as Polly gave them to the two cleaning girls.

"I can't decide if I ate early again, or if I'm just unusually late," Kaoru mused, leaning against the counter, her voice questioning.

"Oh, don't worry, Miss. It's still quite early. Only a little past the time you're usually here." Polly swiped a wet rag across the wooden counter in the middle of the humid room, her eyes on Kaoru. "I don't expect the baroness and Lady Misao to be down for awhile. They do enjoy sleeping late into the morning."

Kaoru's lips curled sardonically. "Yes, I know."

Kaoru moved away from the counter, walking to the window on her left.

"Not going out this morning?"

"No," Kaoru sighed in response. "The weather has decided not to cooperate today, so I'll have to make myself content inside."

"'Tis a shame, that it is. Myself, I prefer the nice weather as well. I like to garden and I couldn't possibly do any of that in this weather."

"Yes, I agree." Kaoru stepped toward the door leading to the hallway, her hands clasped in front of her. "I think I'll go explore a little bit. I'd like to be able to navigate around this place without feeling disoriented."

Polly smiled a farewell, watching Kaoru depart.

In the hallway, Kaoru walked slowly down the marbled interior, her eyes scanning the walls as she slowly got her bearings. Her mind was set on finding the library in the east wing. Scrunching her brow, she deduced her path carefully, determined to avoid getting lost.

The inside air was cool, making her wish that she had a shawl with her to blot out the chilliness spreading over her skin, raising goosebumps on her arms. The corridors were well lit thankfully and with a mercifully small amount of trouble, she was able to find the large blue doors that opened to the library. Pushing open the heavy door, her senses were suddenly assaulted with the wonderful scent of aging paper and bound volumes. If there was one thing her mother imparted to her, it was the love of books.

Kaoru had found that time to read these past few months was few and far between, and as she walked up to one of the large bookcases that swept up to the ceiling, she felt a reminiscent smile cross her face. She ran the tips of her fingers across the spines of the books, her eyes perusing the diverse titles. A pleased look crept into her eyes as she stopped, her fingers hooking onto one book in particular, pulling it efficiently from the shelf. It was a book she had read many times before, having almost memorized the entire contents. A sweeping longing of home hit her full force as she stared at the cover.

Clutching the book to her chest, Kaoru stepped over to a cushy couch in the corner. Snagging the thick blanket draped over the back, she wrapped it around her shoulders. She sat down heavily on the cushions, her feet tucked underneath her with the book warm in her hands. Settling back, Kaoru opened the cover, slipping her fingers over the familiar title before flipping to the first page and losing herself in the words.

* * *

Stepping into the library that afternoon, Misao lifted an eyebrow when she found her friend buried in a book, her face schooled with deep concentration and her eyebrows drawn in a straight line. Blowing a wisp of her hair from her eyes, Misao felt a mischievous grin spilt her features as she walked toward Kaoru.

"Kaoru," she started, breaking the heavy silence and her friend's intense absorption. "I have an idea."

Kaoru looked up immediately from her book, her eyes disconnected from what Misao had just said, her mind still on the book. "What?"

"I have an idea."

Blinking, Kaoru closed her book, keeping her fingers in between the pages to keep her place. "What kind of idea?" she asked confused, trying to integrate herself into Misao's conversation.

"For what we're going to do this afternoon. You've been holed up here for most of the day and I plan on actually doing something rather than vegetating."

Kaoru scrunched her eyebrows. "I'm not vegetating. But, Misao what…what are you wearing? Is that my painting smock?" she asked, bewildered, eyeing the paint splotched white apron over Misao's clothes.

"Yes."

"Why are you wearing it?" she questioned. Squinting, Kaoru leaned forward. "Is that paint on your face?"

"It's part of my plan," she replied, evading the second question.

Realization dawned on Kaoru as her face slackened and she put the book down, shaking the blanket off her shoulders. "You've gotten into my paints again, haven't you?" Brushing past her, Kaoru hurried out of the room, grabbing a hold of her skirts to keep from tripping.

"Don't act so concerned, Kaoru," Misao said from behind, amusement clear in her voice. "It's not like I've defaced your painting or anything. In fact, I haven't even looked at, because I know you hate that."

Darting her gaze behind her to glare at Misao, Kaoru retorted, "Then what were you doing?"

"It's hard to describe, really."

Not knowing what to think, Kaoru scurried up the staircase, muttering under her breath. Misao followed, a secret smile on her lips. Luckily, the room wasn't far off and the way was fairly straightforward.

Kaoru stopped in front of the closed door, a little afraid to go inside and see what Misao had done. The last time something like this had happened they had been 12 years old and…Kaoru shuddered at the thought of it. Holding her breath, she pushed open the door.

When she walked into the spare room that she kept her painting supplies in, Kaoru came to an immediate stuttering stop, her eyes widening and mouth opening slightly in alarm. The room, to put it nicely, was a mess. The neat organization of her supplies was destroyed, and in it place was now the tornado of disorder that seemed to follow Misao where ever she went.

"Wha-what have you done?" Kaoru blurted out, her voice unusually high.

The easel was lying on its side in the corner. Kaoru wasn't sure if that was because it had been knocked over or purposely placed that way because Misao decided it looked better that way. A bed sheet was spread across the floor, covered with stray splatters of various colors of paint. The spare canvas Kaoru had bought was leaning against the wall with sloppy stripes and unsymmetrical blobs of thin paint splatters. Open paint lay on the floor in erratic disarray. Her current painting seemed to missing from the confusion, thankfully.

"I've been having great fun this morning," Misao announced proudly, stepping past Kaoru's astonished form and walking over to the canvas propped against the wall. "You've always wanted me to try painting, and now I have. Isn't it great!"

Kaoru coughed, her wide eyes darting from Misao's face to the disorganized painting on the floor. "I meant a still-life, Misao. Not finger-painting."

"This isn't finger-painting," she replied in an offended tone. She stepped over to the paint, grabbed a paintbrush and scooped up a blob of blue paint. Walking over to her painting, she swiped the brush down quickly, slinging the loose paint on the canvas and created an irregular arch across an orange circle. "See. It's much more involved."

Kaoru was at a loss of words.

Misao leaned down and picked up brown cloth on the floor. Stepping over to Kaoru, she handed it to her. "Here. Put this on. We'll make one together."

"With what?"

"I have a sheet I'll attach to the wall."

"A sheet?"

"Yes. It will work fine."

Kaoru took the brown material from her friend hesitantly, her face etched with doubt.

"Don't look at me that way. You'll love it."

Misao turned away and walked over to a chair in the corner, pulling a large white sheet off of it and moving to the wall. Grabbing some pins, she stood on the tips of her toes, pinning the fabric into the plaster. Kaoru looked down at the brown material and raised an eyebrow.

"Misao, this is a potato sac."

"Mmm? I know," she replied, concentrating on adding the last few pins.

"Why did you give me a potato sac?"

She turned around, shooting Kaoru a look of innocence. "So you won't get paint on your dress."

"Why don't you wear the potato sac, and I'll wear my smock?"

"I'm already wearing the smock. It'll easier if you just go ahead and wear that. Besides, I cut holes for your head and arms."

Eyeing the coarse material, Kaoru felt her mouth curl. "Why, thanks…"

Misao admired the sheet on the wall, nodding slightly with approval as she finished. "We're ready!"

Sighing, Kaoru pulled the potato sac over her head, slipping her arms through the frayed holes. Straightening it against her dress, she bit her lip, admitting to herself that it fit relatively well. She held out her hand, taking a paintbrush from Misao.

"You are buying me new paint, right?"

"Oh, of course. I sent one of the footmen out about an hour ago to replenish your stock."

Together, they dipped the brushes into the green paint. Grinning, Misao swung the brush down, creating an arc of paint on the sheet tacked onto the wall. Kaoru followed her motions, creating a weak imitation.

Misao raised an eyebrow. "You can do better."

Frowning at her friend, Kaoru moved back to the paint and scooped up a glob. Turning, she swung her arm as hard as she could, slinging a widespread line of paint across the sheet.

Misao smiled, nodding her approval. "Now to mix the colors. I want it to get as muddled as possible."

"Yes, master," Kaoru muttered, watching Misao with smiling eyes. As they spread the paint across the sheet, Kaoru felt laughter bubble in her throat, thoroughly amused by Misao's intense concentration as she strategically planned every splash of color. Kaoru let loose, her paint scattered everywhere and in varying patterns. They continued the madness for about half an hour, paint popping up everywhere. Kaoru was quite proud that she had yet to get any on herself.

Turning from the sheet, her brush held loftily in her right hand, Kaoru nibbled her lower lip as she decided what color to use next. That was when she felt wet splash of paint against the skin of her face. She closed her eyes reflexively against the attack, her breath held. When she heard the muted laughter of Misao, she opened her eyes, a sour expression on her face.

Pretending to move past her friend stiffly, Kaoru reached down, spreading a large amount of paint on the brush. Turning, she moved to stand nonchalantly beside Misao…then wiped the wet bristles down her cheek, spreading a red steak down the side of her face. Misao immediately gasped, stepping away and shooting Kaoru an astonished look.

Kaoru smiled sweetly.

They stared at each for moment.

Then both quickly reached down, gathering paint and attacking each other with it. Instead of slinging paint on the sheet, they slung it at each other.

As the paint flew, the laughter intensified.

Kaoru was gasping for breath as she laughed while running away from Misao who was wielding a copious amount of blue paint. There was little to hide behind, so her fate was already sealed. Brushing stray hair from her eyes as she came to a jerky halt, Kaoru eyed her friend, shaking her head as she tried to deter her. Misao grinned evilly.

Stepping back, Kaoru's foot caught on something, causing her to lose her balance as Misao charged. Reaching out to grab a hold of the other woman's clothes, Kaoru pulled Misao down with her as a loud screech erupted from her open mouth. They fell side-by-side. Misao dropped the paintbrush on herself, the paint spreading across the front of the smock.

Placing a hand to her stomach, Kaoru closed her eyes as she was rocked with amusement.

It was the first time in a long while that Misao had heard Kaoru laugh with unrestrained merriment. She had missed that. Joining with Kaoru's happiness, she felt contentment spread through her limbs.

It was then that Misao turned to look at the doorway. She choked on her laughter, her face slacking with disbelief. Brushing her mussed hair from her eyes, she bolted up into a sitting position, words catching in her throat.

"Lord Shinomori," the butler announced weakly, clearing his throat awkwardly.

Kaoru gasped, her eyes widening as they snapping immediately to the doorway.

The butler stepped aside, giving them a better view of the quiet man. Aoshi held his arms motionlessly at his sides, his face schooled into an aloof expression. Misao pushed herself clumsily to her feet, tongue-tied and bright-faced with embarrassed discomfiture.

"Well, uh, w-what a surprise," Misao stuttered out, trying desperately to gain some much-needed poise. Kaoru got to her feet slowly behind her, clasping her hands in front of the potato sack she wore, her expression sheepish.

"How can I help you?" Misao asked, her voice low.

"I would like to speak to you privately, please, Lady Makimachi."

Misao stood there for a second, her mind wrapping around the announcement. Kaoru nudged her back when she failed to respond. "Yes! I mean… give me a minute, and I'll be right with you. George if you'll take him to the Blue Room."

Aoshi nodded in response, stepping aside to allow George to pass. Without glancing back, he followed him away. Misao let out a strangled groan when she was sure they were gone. Rubbing her fingers against her forehead, she tried to blot out the festering madness in her mind.

"Of all the days," she grumbled, stalking out of the room.

Kaoru watched her depart with a sympathetic smile before turning to gaze at the room with a mixture of amazement and dread. Oh, what a mess. She looked down at herself, and frowned. What an even bigger mess.

Brushing an absent hand down the coarse front of the potato sack serving as an apron, Kaoru walked to the doorway. She needed to clean up and get the paint off her face. Changing her dress, she decided, was her top priority as she looked down at the paint that had splattered all over the sleeves.

As she left, Kaoru brushed her bangs from her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. Her footsteps down the hall were hurried, her intent to avoid being seen in her current state of unkemptness obvious. Her room wasn't far away so it didn't take her long.

Opening the door, she stepped into the familiar interior, her feet moving to the closet. She reached down and grabbed the hem of her potato sac, pulling it awkwardly off of her and throwing it down on the chair beside the fireplace. Moving to the changing room adjacent to the closet, she disappeared inside to change.

It was a few minutes later when she heard the door open and shut roughly. Tucking her hair back into a tighter coiffure, she turned from the mirror, her eyebrows raised high as she watched Misao sink onto the edge of the bed, her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

"How did it go?" Kaoru asked, searching her face for answers.

"He wanted to talk to me about textiles," she muttered in a dour tone.

"Textiles?"

"That's what he ships. His company, I mean," she said. "My mother ordered some rare pattern from him a while ago and apparently she told him to come talk to me about it."

"And what did you say about the textiles?"

"I told him I liked green, and he left." She sat there for a moment, her mind lost in thought. "He's so…so...," she muttered, her expression becoming disgruntled. "He makes me want to hit him."

"So why didn't you?" Kaoru asked, sitting down beside her friend on the bed.

Misao sent her wry glare, causing Kaoru to smile at her innocently. "Maybe next time, I will."

They sat there for moment, taking in the silence of the room. Kaoru now wore clean clothes, the paint mostly scrubbed from her skin, though a few bits still lingered, while Misao remained in a paint-smattered smock, her hair, face, and arms dotted randomly with a rainbow of colors.

"I wonder what he thought of your new wardrobe," Kaoru started, her lungs filling with silent laughter, "You look rather…rough."

Grabbing a pillow off to the side, Misao hit Kaoru in the head with the fluffy material in response, catching her off guard. Kaoru let out a burst of laughter before scrambling to retaliate.


	4. Habituation

**Author's Note**: Here we are again. Hope everyone enjoys this new chapter.

A special thanks to those who reviewed: **whoknoez**, **Royal blueKitsune**, **sulou**, **toxiclollipop**, **crazy fanfic lover**, **nebulia**, **Anonymous but very interested**, **MikaylaMae**, **skenshingumi**, **Anarana221**, **Lendra-chan**, **Reignashii**, **I Heart Edward Cullen**, **flaming-amber**, **unknown beedee**, **ixchen**, **Youkoforever**, **Threedaysunrise**, **Mizz-Clumsy**, **ola**, and **SilverNimbus**.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

**A Soft Hope**

* * *

_**Chapter 4**_

"_Habituation"_

* * *

The social voices of the content geese traveled through the air, creating a colorful mingle of delightful sounds that blended with the morning's clear beauty. Today, the sky was devoid of any obstructions and made only of a deeply crisp, omnipresent blue. The calm after the angry storm was wondrously revitalizing. The pond animals seemed to flourish in the clear, enriching air, their movements more animated and their interactions more playful.

Kaoru couldn't have asked for a more inspiring day. This was the day she had planned to weave the playful presence of the pond animals into the smooth backdrop of her painting.

Moving her intent gaze from the pond, she glanced to her left, narrowing her eyes on the reclining figure of the red-haired man. He had placed a hat over his face, shielding his closed eyes from the bursting brightness of the sun. His arms were back behind his head, helping him to stretch out comfortably on the ground.

Puffing out a breath, Kaoru sat back in her chair, her mind distracted from the painting. She shouldn't have been surprised when Kenshin had appeared miraculously by her side in the grass - his abrupt presence only revealed to her when she had looked up from the painting, her brow scrunched as she meant to get another look at her surroundings. Her heart had stuttered nervously as her fingers slipped on the paintbrush. Kenshin had uttered a muted hello before nonchalantly leaning back in the dewy grass and closing his eyes, taking the position he held now.

She could only guess he had had another long, sleepless night like the other day when he had spent the morning in the grass, supposedly drifting off into sleep. His presence was relatively unobtrusive to her as she painted.

Because he had been beside her as she had painted previously, Kaoru was beginning to become aquatinted with his presence, only sparing him a few cursory glances. The only sounds infiltrating her senses were that of the pond inhabitants' welcome of the day, and the soft, hushed sweep of the paintbrush across the canvas. Kaoru bit her lip, her concentration returning, and the time around her blurring into an unrecognizable whirl.

As the days passed, this ritual continued in a similar fashion. Kenshin was either present when she arrived, silently watching the play of rippling water in the pond, or he appeared in his singular quiet fashion, suddenly there and gracing her with his calming presence. It was only after his immediate arrival in the mornings that he studied the painting, his eyes perusing every stroke, every dash of color spread onto the canvas. He gave her suggestions that sometimes amused her, annoyed her, or piqued her interest. And a few of those times, she heeded his advice.

Kenshin slowly became a fixture, almost a necessity to her while she painted her English countryside. Kaoru nearly regretted his presence, for now when the time would come to return home, and she went back to her second-story room, which she considered residence to her paints, Kaoru would never feel quite the same about her art. His company created a haven of time that she viewed with quiet appreciation. This red-haired man…this former stranger…

…Kenshin…

…made her inwardly peaceful - a feat that she hadn't thought she would be able to accomplish in years, much less within the confines of a few weeks. And with his presence, the dark robe of blackness enveloping her mind had started to peel gently and slowly away, allowing a slim slip of pale light to warm her…to brighten her.

Pondering to herself, Kaoru wondered if anyone would have been able to softly break through her thick inner shield. Would Misao or a different person, maybe even another stranger have been able to awaken her thoughts with a careful silence as Kenshin had done so wonderfully? Anyone?

No.

No, they wouldn't have.

And though this baffled Kaoru, she accepted it. She accepted Kenshin's friendship. She accepted the light he offered to her - the freedom from the stifling depression that he represented. She accepted…him.

It was nearly a week and half later when she finished her current painting, brushing the final slip of paint onto it. It had taken her longer than she had originally anticipated, one particular part giving her an unmitigated amount of trouble. It was finally with Kenshin's suggestion of creating a dazzling ripple effect in the pond that she was able to finish. Despite completion, Kaoru made Kenshin believe she still had work to do, insuring his appearance the next day to be very probable.

So when she arrived at the pond with Alistair in tow and painting supplies bursting from her small bag, Kaoru felt a fleeting stab of disappointment when she noticed that he hadn't arrived yet. But, mentally comforting herself, she relented that his immediate absence wasn't out of the ordinary. Instead of setting up her supplies on top of the knoll where she had a nice view of the surroundings, she walked down near the shore of the pond.

The wind was weak this morning, managing only a small sliver of cool breeze, allowing the water of the pond to remain placidly quiet.

Kaoru unfolded the chair, sitting down onto the smooth surface and turning her gaze out, so she could admire the sweeping uniqueness of the vivid countryside. She lost herself in an endless twirl of thoughts, disconnecting her traveling mind from life's realism. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, her mind situated in the random wandering of her daydreams. She sighed heavily as, sometime later, her careful concentration slid slowly away, the haze of thought shifting as her vision locked on the blur of red appearing in her peripheral vision.

As she focused, Kaoru watched Kenshin's familiar form walk toward her. He strolled along the waterline, his chestnut horse visible behind him in the distance, tethered loosely to a towering tree. His violet eyes were focused on her, his hands tucked comfortably in the concealing folds of his pockets. He wore a curious expression on his face, his mouth forming a serious line, though Kaoru noticed the hinting of a small welcoming smile on the corner of his lips. The wind tousled his characteristically disheveled hair, the rich red strands pulled hastily into a long ponytail.

When Kenshin came within earshot, he furrowed his brow, his lips twisting with a quizzical frown. His voice carrying, he asked, "Where's your painting? How are you going to finish it if it's not here?"

She felt a secret smile curl her lips. "I already finished it."

His final steps took him slowly to her. Kenshin stopped in front of Kaoru, eyeing her with bemusement. "When?"

"Yesterday."

"And you didn't show me?" he replied, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning lightly back on his heels.

"I'll show you later," Kaoru promised. "But I wanted to make sure that you would come today. That's why I didn't tell you."

He frowned, shaking his head admonishingly. "All you have to do is ask…I'll come."

His words took her a little by surprise, causing her skin to flush a light pink across her cheekbones. "Oh."

Kenshin sighed, his eyes moving from her stationary form to the small bag filled with her painting supplies. "So what do you need?"

"I don't actually _need_ anything."

He raised an eyebrow speculatively.

"I thought I'd give you a painting lesson."

Kenshin stood there for a moment, his face impassive and his mouth drawn into a straight line. Pulling his eyebrows together, he blinked at her smiling face, uncertain as to how to respond.

"But…but…I told you," he replied weakly. "I can't paint."

"Precisely."

"My mother tried to teach me. She gave up…my own mother. What do you intend to do?"

"You'll have to see."

He rubbed an absent hand on the back of his neck, stepping over to crouch down beside her sitting form. "Seriously, Miss Kaoru. I'm a hopeless cause."

Patting him reassuringly on the side of his arm, her fingers brushing the thin fabric of his lightweight shirt, she smiled happily. "Of course you aren't."

Bending over, she grabbed her bag, pulling two small canvases from it, handing one to him and keeping the other for herself. He held it awkwardly in his hands, lowering himself so he sat on the ground next to her chair. He turned surprised eyes to her as she got up from the chair, walked in front him and crossed to his other side, settling down on the grass beside him.

"Miss Kaoru don't sit there," he protested. "You'll get dirty. The chair's much better."

She took a calming breath, shooting him an annoyed glare as she arranged her skirts around her folded legs. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Are you sure I - "

"I'm sure," she cut in.

He sighed, reluctantly acquiescing, watching as she pulled paints from the bag and set them out. She placed various paints on the pallet, leaving a wide array of colors to choose from. Handing him a paintbrush, she nodded to herself, turning her now cheerful gaze to his.

"It's not really a painting lesson, I guess. Mostly it's just paint what you want."

"I don't know what I want."

Kaoru bit her lip to keep from smiling, amused by his belligerence. "Anything, Kenshin. Paint whatever comes to mind."

He stared at her for a moment before turning to gaze blankly at the empty canvas. As Kaoru dipped her paintbrush into the revealed paint, she began her simple rendition of a statuesque tree standing off in the distance - the one Kenshin's horse was tethered to. Narrowing her sapphire eyes, her attention was sucked into her art, but she was still aware of Kenshin's tense form, which remained a comforting presence at her side.

Kenshin watched her, his eyes following the line of her vision, catching sight of what she had decided to paint. He ran a frustrated hand over his forehead as he tried to come up with a subject. Sighing, he nodded weakly to himself before reaching over to swipe up a large glob of green from the pallet, dropping it on the center of the canvas. He smoothed it out with the paintbrush, forming an odd shape that had him grimacing.

The next five minutes were spent vainly trying to fix his mess until he finally glared at it for a moment, deciding reluctantly to move on and try to work around his mishap. Thirty minutes later, Kenshin was mentally exhausted with his artistic effort. He leaned back to get a new perspective of the first work of art he had crafted in many, many years.

Not bad.

Nodding, he decided he was pleased with the grueling effort.

Then he looked over at Kaoru's painting.

Okay, he admitted. So, his painting was pretty dismal. But, if you squinted you could almost make out what it was supposed to be…almost.

Kenshin frowned, setting down his paintbrush and crossing his arms across his chest, forgetting about the wet paint dotting his fingers. Catching Kaoru's attention, she looked up from her work.

She glanced from Kenshin's dissatisfied face, down to the painting sitting dejectedly in his lap. Her gaze scanned the large shape taking up most of the canvas, colored mostly with an odd mixture of green, yellow, and red. Trying to make out the shape, she tilted her head to side. Three jutting stalks of color sprouted from the base, lined incongruously with multiple colors that he had tried to blend and…well…failed.

"So what do you think it is?" he asked.

Kaoru looked up, her eyes swimming with mirth. "Um…," she started, pursing her lips in thought.

"I told you that I can't - "

"A leaf?"

At the slight narrowing of his violet gaze, Kaoru knew intuitively that she had guessed correctly. "Could be," he countered.

"It is, isn't it?" she replied triumphantly. He sat there a moment, apparently brooding to himself.

"Well, honestly, it could be anything," he conceded, glancing down at the canvas with a grimace. "But it did start out as a leaf."

Kaoru put her paintbrush down, reaching over to take Kenshin's painting from him. Holding it out in front of her at arm's length, she carefully studied his rendition of nature.

"Well, whatever you decide it is, you've made a wonderful effort."

Kaoru couldn't help but smile when she looked over and caught the unconvinced look on his features as he tried to view his work at the same angle as her.

"If you say so," he uttered dubiously. "I still think it looks pathetic."

Kaoru handed the small canvas back to Kenshin. He held it loosely in his fingertips. "Art doesn't have to be perfection. It just has to come from here," she replied, placing the palm of her left hand against his chest over his heart. His natural warmth bathed her hand, causing her fingers to tingle with awareness as the steady beat of his heartbeat was clearly felt. Letting his canvas slip from his grip, Kenshin placed one hand over hers, watching her closely as his fingers wrapped around her own. Their joined hands slipped down, settling between their sitting forms in the grass.

"Thank you for the advice," he responded, smiling softly at her.

With a short intake of shuddering breath, Kaoru nodded wordlessly in response, her legs moving beneath her as she started to stand. Her fingers fell from his as she stood, her black bangs falling into her gaze as she began to fumble for her supplies. Kenshin watched her rough movements calmly for a moment before rising to his feet to assist her.

"Heading back already?" he asked.

She flicked her gaze to his, catching it for a moment before looking away. She nodded again, her lips drawn. Kaoru turned her back to him, and behind her, she heard Kenshin shuffle around before his footsteps gradually disappeared.

A couple minutes later as she finished placing her supplies into the small bag and readying Alistair, Kaoru let her gaze wander as she turned, facing the direction in which Kenshin had departed just minutes previously. She was already half under the impression that he had headed off, returning home. But, Kaoru's eyes widened when she saw him standing there, the reins of his chestnut mare held loosely in his left hand. Kaoru noticed the amused flicker in his violet eyes as he watched her eyebrows rise in quiet speculation.

"I'm walking you home," Kenshin stated, standing firmly beside his horse.

"Walking me home?" she echoed, mildly surprised. "But, I'm fine."

Kenshin moved forward, leading his horse as he neared her stationary form. "I know," he conceded, "but both Lady and I could use the added exercise."

"Lady?"

Kenshin ran a comforting hand down his mare's neck, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. "My horse. She came to me already named, and I didn't have the heart to change it."

"She already responded to it?" Kaoru mused.

"Why, yes, she did."

Her own gaze drifted to her black stallion, her sapphire gaze softening. "It was the same with Alistair. He was a spirited yearling, and his name was the only way to get through that thick skull of his." As if sensing she was speaking about him, Alistair took a step forward, nudging her back roughly with his nose. She muffled a laugh, reaching behind her to place her calm hands on his forehead, underneath the coarse hair of his forelock. "He was a present to me…from my father."

Kenshin studied her, watching as her expression shifted slightly, her eyelids lowering to shade the churning emotion in her eyes. He didn't say anything, respecting the invisible shield of silence that Kaoru had erected around her slight form. It was easy to recognize such a barrier…for he held one around himself as well. Constantly.

When Kaoru turned back to face him, a tired smile covered her lips as she tried to bring back the former excited spark in her vision. "Shall we go?" she asked.

Nodding silently, he yielded to her quiet request, watching as she turned to mount Alistair. He restrained from assisting her, knowing that she preferred to complete the task on her own. Kaoru was confident in her movements, experience evident as she settled in the saddle. He watched as she urged her horse forward. Admiration rooting in his chest, Kenshin moved to Lady's side and slipped his foot into the stirrup and hefting himself up onto the saddle with a practiced ease.

He had to urge Lady into an accelerated walk to catch up to the already moving Alistair. Kaoru kept her back to him, her spine straight. Trustingly, Lady followed his quiet commands. When he had almost caught up to her, Kenshin caught slight of the change of Kaoru's body, the tensing of her shoulders and the shifting of her hands as she tightened her reins. Kaoru looked over her shoulder, her eyes spearing his as her mouth curved in a teasing grin. Kenshin felt his stomach clench, accurately reading the devious expression sliding over her features.

"I hope you like speed."

"Eh? Why?" he asked, plastering an ignorant look on his face.

Kaoru's response was a slight shrug as she turned her head away. She leaned forward, her lips moving as she whispered something to her horse. Kenshin felt his eyebrows rise with surprise as he watched Alistair bolt forward, Kaoru leaning low on his neck. Beneath him, Kenshin could feel Lady tense, her muscles heightened with anticipation as her ears flicked forward. With a small chuckle, he gave Lady a vocal signal, which in turn, she reacted to immediately by lowering her head and charging forward, her eyes intent on the other horse.

The speed wasn't new to Kenshin, though he hadn't let his spirit run free like this for years…a time that now felt like eternity. The light laughter of the young woman in front him resulted in a hitch of his breath, causing his hands to reflexively tighten on the reins, and his eyes to become threaded with a muted amber. The horses were well matched, their movements similar. It took Lady a couple minutes of long strides, heavy breathing and a determined mind to pull along side Alistair.

As their horses galloped over a small rise in the land, Kaoru slid her gaze from the quickly moving terrain beneath Alistair's hooves to meet Kenshin's probing violet eyes. Quickly she turned back as Alistair snorted, his head dipping down before rising immediately back up. His strides became more spirited as his trembling muscles dispelled exhilarated energy. Pulling back on the reins with the slightest of motions, she leaned back in the saddle. Alistair easily read her subtle body language, his pace slowing as he quieted into a canter. In response, Lady immediately followed, her hoof beats calming as she pulled in her own mounting enthusiasm, successfully banking her overflowing energy.

Air escaped from Kaoru in short breaths, her eyes sparkling with amused pleasure. Alistair finally slowed to a walk, and she turned to study the shadowed face of the redhead. Biting her lower lip, Kaoru mused that Kenshin had the distinct and overwhelming ability to cover the true extent of his emotions carefully, calculatingly, and coolly within his eyes…his expression remaining indifferent to the churning deliberation of his mind. Sometimes, though, she was able to catch a flicker of true thought…a piece of the man he sought to keep hidden within the murky depths of his inexplicable individuality.

Like now.

Kaoru could distinctly make out the flash of genuine amazement swirling in the amber streaked depths of his perceptive gaze, his lips softening into a smooth slip of pleasure as he watched her smile happily at him, her hair in a beautiful disaster of disarray.

Sucking in a deep breath, Kaoru uttered softly, "You're the first that's been able to keep up."

He broke their interlocked visual connection, his hand running comfortingly down Lady's slick neck. "She's the one that did most of the work. I was just along for the ride."

"It's a partnership," Kaoru disagreed, correcting him as she watched his gentle movements of appreciation toward his horse.

"Mmm."

"She wouldn't follow your directions to the extent that she does if she didn't trust you."

"True."

He looked out past them, his eyes scanning the sunlit horizon. "How far till we reach the estate?"

"Not much farther. We're actually already on the estate's property. We just have a little way more till we reach the stable." She sighed. "When we get up here," she said, pointing ahead of her, "You'll be able to see it."

His next question surprised her, catching her attention and drawing her eyes from the scenery before them. "When do you return to London?"

Kaoru brushed a loose slip of dark hair from her eyes, frowning and furrowing her brow in thought. "I've been in the country for nearly 3 and half weeks, so…I guess only one more week remains. But there has been some suggestion about the baron, Misao's father arriving, and possibly extending our stay." She glanced at him curiously. "Why?"

Kenshin gave her a blank stare before shrugging and smiling politely. "No reason. Just wondering."

They rode in silence for a while, the swaying sound of the saddles and the heavy steps of the horses filling the thick air. Kaoru ran her fingers across the leather of her reins, her mind attuned to the lone figure of the man riding beside her. It almost seemed as if they were the only two people in the area for miles. Their surroundings served as a quite buffer, wrapping their forms in a comforting, concealing blanket of solitude and isolate imaginings. Their movements were slow and lackadaisical, the wish to prolong the silent ride palpable in the cool morning air.

A heavy sigh built in Kaoru's throat as the estate slowly came into view as she crested the small hill, Kenshin close behind her. But as she moved to go down the incline, she heard Lady's hoof beats halt, her movements curtailed by Kenshin as he pulled back slightly on the reins. Turning her head, a quizzical slant to her eyes, she unconsciously frowned, seemingly unsure of how to respond to his sudden halting.

Finally, she managed to find some response to his actions. "Time for you to go back?"

He sighed heavily, giving a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Yes. I think it's safe to leave you here, in sight of the main estate."

"Safe, huh?" she replied, her tone wry. "What are you doing? Protecting me, I guess?"

A ghosting of a smile slipped over his lips. "In a way?"

"Who do you think I am? A defenseless woman?" she retorted, half-amused and half-riled with ire.

"No." He eyed her calmly, watching her stare at him for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly. "It just makes me feel more secure, I guess."

Kaoru's retort seemed to catch in her throat with that comment, her face becoming slightly red as she held her breath unconsciously. Ducking his head, Kenshin shifted in his saddle, grabbing something and then dismounting. His steps were collected as he moved over to her, his head tilted upwards so he could catch her gaze with his own. He held the small canvas he had painted on earlier in his hand, his fingers loose on the artful rendering of a leaf.

Kenshin moved to hand his art to Kaoru, under the impression that she wanted to have the canvas back. Looking at him, surprised, Kaoru shook her head, motioning for him to pull the canvas back.

"No, no. You're supposed to keep it. I'm not taking it from you." Kaoru smiled reassuringly when he gave her a blank stare. "It's your painting, now. I couldn't take it from you."

He sighed in response, lowering the painting he held in his hand to his side as he gazed curiously up at her. She raised an eyebrow, holding Alistair's reins in her hands and running her fingers over the smooth leather.

"You aren't going to surprise me with more painting tomorrow, are you?" he asked.

She hesitated a moment, before smiling apologetically. "I can't come tomorrow morning. Or the days after. I've had to set aside that time for my hosts. They have plans that I need to follow, unfortunately."

Taking her announcement in stride, Kenshin nodded slowly. "Understandable. I know how that goes." He tipped his head down, showing her a great deal of respect. Kaoru's eyes warmed, deepening into a navy blue. "I will see you later, Miss Kaoru. It has been a pleasure."

His fingertips gripped the top of his painting a little tightly and his gaze followed her movements carefully as she shifted in Alistair's saddle, readying herself to urge her horse forward again.

"I feel the same. Take care, Kenshin."

* * *

The next few days drew on slowly, caught by a force that seemed to hold back the minutes cruelly, causing them to tick by at a maddeningly extended pace. The obligations that Kaoru was restrained by were mundane to say the least, but she remained with Misao and her mother, because if not for them she wouldn't even be here. She managed to hide the rooting discontent quite valiantly, she thought to herself smugly. Only Misao noticed to slight sluggishness to Kaoru's movements, catching sometimes when Kaoru glanced out the window, her friend's thoughts clouded with imaginings that she knew annoyingly nothing about.

They had received word yesterday afternoon that Misao's father would be arriving within the next couple of days, depending on weather and traveling conditions. Kaoru viewed his arrival with mixed feelings, knowing that now they would be expected to partake in the small amount of dinner parties and events that had mostly ignored until now, but…the trip would also be extended.

And that gave her more time to…

More time to…

'More time to do exactly what?' Kaoru thought moodily, staring out the window of her bedroom, her arms crossed over her chest, bunching the nightgown underneath. The routine dullness of the past days had started to grate on her nerves. With her creativity back, painting was starting to root into her mind as almost an obsession once more, causing her to become irritated with her lack of progress.

Progress?

What was she thinking?

She needed to be actually working on something to make progress. Here she stood, wasting away precious time that could spent on a new canvas, a new rendering of nature, more time to spend with Kenshin…

That last thought came out of nowhere, causing her to jerk with surprise, her eyes widening as she moved her gaze from the revealing view of the window, drifting to the side, halting on the painting she had finished days before. It was starting to feel as if an eternity had ticked by since the completion of that piece. And with the way she was going, she'd be an old woman before she began another one.

Sighing heavily, Kaoru stepped away from the window, moving over to her bed and plopping down heavily on the edge, letting her hands to fall in her lap. She needed to talk to Misao again about allotting herself some time where she could wander off and loose herself in the rippling world of her painting again. Kaoru honestly didn't care when that time would be…morning, noon, night…she just wanted something to call her own again.

A muted knock on the door drew her abruptly out of her reverie, catching her attention. Without a verbal reply, the door opened slightly, allowing a familiar head to pop in.

Misao eyed her from the doorway with a cheerful smile. "Oh, good. You're awake." She pushed the door open fully, gliding into the room with a refreshing aura of alertness. She closed the door behind her with a loud thump and moved across the room, coming to a small stop beside Kaoru's sitting form. With a sigh, Misao sat down next to her, settling the package she carried with her in her lap.

"You're up slightly early," Kaoru said, eyeing her friend with a mixture of curiosity and trepidation.

"If father arrives I -"

"This early?" Kaoru interrupted.

Misao fixed her with a pointed stare. "If father arrives I wanted to be awake."

"Uh-huh," Kaoru replied speculatively. "Would anyone else be happening to stop by?"

"Unfortunately, no. However, Mother has arranged for us to have brunch with our neighbors."

"When are we leaving?"

"In an hour or so. I came in to tell you to start getting ready," she replied, observing Kaoru as if trying to read her thoughts. "You look little pale. Are you alright?"

"Must be my lack of sun."

"Ah, now I see. You're still sulking about your lost painting time."

Kaoru didn't respond, choosing to not rise to Misao's carefully dangled bait. Misao eyed her for a moment, a knowing smile curved on her lips. Sighing, she grabbed the packet in her lap, thrusting it into Kaoru hands before standing up and brushing nonexistent dust from her folds of her dress.

"What's this?" Kaoru asked, making a quick grab at the parcel to keep it from tumbling to the ground.

"It arrived this morning for you. I haven't opened it, so I couldn't possibly tell you what it is," Misao replied with a teasing smile as she moved to the door of Kaoru's bedroom.

"Who brought it?" Kaoru asked, eyeing the package inquiringly, her eyebrows drawn together in question.

"A young boy. He brought it to the servant's entrance and handed it off to Polly, who then gave it to me. Now quit interrogating me and get dressed. Be downstairs as soon as you can. Mother actually wants to be on time today."

Kaoru watched as her friend opened the door, disappeared and closed it behind her. Turning her gaze back to the parcel she held in her hands, she wondered who on earth could be sending her something? Flipping over the package, she noticed her name scrawled over the brown paper on a loose, almost meticulous handwriting. Standing up mechanically, she moved over to the small table underneath one of the large windows in her room, and pulled out a chair to sit down in. Settling into the chair, she placed the package onto the table carefully, removing her hands and staring at the anomalous object. Brushing a stray wisp of hair from her face, Kaoru sighed, leaning back in the chair and tapping her fingertips against the top of the table.

If she hadn't been under time constraints, Kaoru felt she could have stared at it for the entire day, living on the reed of excitement that was growing in her chest, and filling her with a form of anticipation she hadn't felt in a long time. Receiving a letter had always been exciting, wondering what hidden words were held on the fragile paper, meant solely for her eyes. It was rare when she received an actual package. In fact she hadn't been on the receiving end of such a thing since…well, since her life had changed. She felt the overwhelming need to savor such a present…cherish it and never open it to reveal what unknown contents it held within. But there was another feeling rooted in her mind - one as strong as the need to stow it away and keep it unopened forever.

And that was the desire to rip the concealing brown paper to shreds and unveil the parcel's contents. Smiling to herself, Kaoru shook her head, amused by her own thoughts. And as she sat there, she decided her plan of action. She wouldn't let it sit there forever and remain a mystery, but she wouldn't tear the silly thing to shreds either, and risk damaging what was inside.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Kaoru reached out her hands, laying them on the outside of the package. Slipping her fingertips underneath an exposed flap of material, she pulled slightly, ripping the material away. It didn't take her long to rid the package its concealment. Staring down at what she was left with, Kaoru felt her heart speed up, and her fingers tremble with an overwhelmed surprise.

Sliding her fingers underneath the small painting, she lifted it, letting her eyes rove the haphazard, uncontrolled, casual rendering before her. Painstaking care had been applied, though amateur talent was apparent beneath the small and large arched strokes and the incomplete blending of color.

A note fluttered onto the table, catching Kaoru's swimming gaze. Lowering the canvas, Kaoru picked up the simple note, her eyes quickly running over the scrawled words.

_Since I was forced to keep my first painting, I decided to make another. This one as a gift for you. Thank you, Kaoru._

_Sincerely,_

_Kenshin_

Turning her clouded vision to the small painting before her, a surprised laugh filled her, escaping between smiling lips. This one wasn't much better than the first, but…but…he had actually gone out and bought the stuff to make it, and then he…then he…

Running her fingers over the uneven texture of the paint, Kaoru cocked her head to the side, letting out an uneven breath. He really was an anomaly this Kenshin.

* * *

She was distracted by that painting the rest of the day, her mind constantly returning to the thoughtful scrawl of his paint strokes, and the painstaking care that had been taken to rendering a passable piece of art. Throughout their brunch with the neighbors, Misao had had to nudge her under the table to keep her in tune with the conversation so not to appear as if she was ignoring them. It was ridiculous how her attention kept wandering, leaving her unmindful to the present.

On the way back to the estate, Misao had questioned her inattention, sparks of interest blinding her. It was unusual for Kaoru to keep things from her best friend, but in this instance, Kaoru almost felt that if she told Misao about Kenshin, the relationship would become jinxed, and unravel into a sloppy mess of distraction and misinterpretation.

In fact, Kaoru wasn't even sure how to view their relationship herself, lost in the limbo of uncertainties and hesitation. All that she knew was that he was interesting to around, and different from any other person that she was acquainted with.

He was Kenshin. Just plain Kenshin.

The day drew on in the pace that seemed to dominate her life these days…slow, boring and uneventful. In the late afternoon, Kaoru wandered from the house into the gardens, moving almost instinctually to the white gazebo crowned with numerous flowers of a vast number of colors. This break in the mundane tune of her life these past few days was a welcome distraction to everything that seemed to be inadvertently taking over her freedom.

In the next couple days, the gazebo became an easy place for escape - one where she was able to slip quietly from the house and sit amongst the surrounding tranquility of the pretty garden circling the manor. Kaoru found that though it wasn't nearly as stimulating as her previous morning outings, these stolen moments were better than nothing.

Misao's now present father was slowly becoming once more acquainted with the countryside. His wish was to acclimate himself to the different surroundings before joining in any nearby festivities. Kaoru was glad of the social quiet, but she wished her daily interactions with nature could be more in depth once again.

This afternoon was pleasantly warm and sedate in its relative inactivity. A slight breeze threaded through the air, lightly brushing Kaoru's loosely bound hair. She sat stationary in the gazebo, her hands folded in her lap as she worried her lower lip between her teeth. A quaint pink blossom had captured her attention, and when Misao walked inside and sat down quietly, breaking the solitude, Kaoru kept her gaze pointedly on the vibrant flower.

The two sat silently for a moment before Misao's spoke, her voice holding an air of anticipation. Kaoru listened to Misao speak with one ear open as she let the idea of painting part of the gazebo slip through her mind. It would be quite interesting actually. Even painting a small portion of the thatched side, ornately carved with a multitude of brilliant flowers weaved through it. Brilliant. Finally, there was an idea that had some merit, Kaoru thought to herself with self-satisfied aplomb. Now, she had it! A place easy to escape to, and finally a project that would capture her attention for a few days.

"…and Lord Himura will be there as well," Misao finished with half a smile, her eyes turned expectantly toward Kaoru.

Kaoru's mind suddenly froze in mid-thought and she whipped her gaze to Misao. "What?" she asked bluntly, spearing her friend with a shrewd stare.

"You haven't been listening, have you?"

Kaoru frowned. "Well, I -"

"Don't even think of fibbing. I've known you too long to be fooled by your ill-conceived lies."

She remained silent for a moment, before replying, "No, I wasn't."

Misao smiled proudly. "As I was saying…," she started, "Lord Shinomori has invited my family, now that father has arrived, to dinner at his country estate not far from here. Lord Himura is currently residing at the estate for a sort of vacation, so he will be in attendance as well, along with a couple of other acquaintances of Lord Shinomori."

"When is this?"

"Tonight. The invitation arrived earlier this morning. It's short notice, but father agreed despite that."

"Well, that's…that's…"

"Exciting?"

Kaoru paused. "Unexpected," she murmured.

"Pardon?"

Kaoru shook her head while averting her gaze. "Nothing. It's not important."

Misao didn't comment, though her mouth curved upward in a knowing a smile, while her eyes studied Kaoru's face. "You've been keeping something from me lately," she mused more to herself than to Kaoru.

Kaoru started, and raised an eyebrow, trying to pull a façade of innocence over her features. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'll find out, you know."

"There's nothing to find out," Kaoru stated nonchalantly as she stood from the gazebo bench and brushed her hands over the green folds of her gown.

"You are a terrible liar."

* * *

Their welcome to Sheffield Estate was warm and generous, and as Kaoru stepped into the lavish foyer of Lord Shinomori's country home, she couldn't help but let her eyes wander, taking in the beautiful decorations of the entryway. She had been in many beautiful abodes, but this held an aura of composed dignity with its gleaming marble floors, pristine white columns, priceless antiquities, and modest lighting.

The viscount was waiting in a quiet sitting room, presently entertaining guests who had arrived prior to them. He allowed those men to speak amongst themselves, making an intermittent comment every now in then, breaking the mask of inattention he schooled on his features.

There was a distinct thrum of excitement surrounding Misao as she stood in the doorway with Kaoru, and then finally followed her parents inside. Kaoru had to hold back a smile as she watched her friend's eyes lock onto their mysterious host. Lord Shinomori inclined his head slightly in welcome, though kept his position next to the fireplace.

With as much casualness as possible, Kaoru let her gaze scan the occupants of the sitting room, sweeping over them swiftly as she hoped to catch a glimpse of a familiar redhead. A small sigh of disappointment rose in her chest when he was not found. Joining Misao on a small loveseat, she smiled politely at the trio of men standing across the room and then turned her gaze away.

One man, who was more interested in the women that had just entered the room than his current conversation, excused himself and stepped over to Kaoru and Misao, his features schooled in a haughty expression of self-importance. Tilting his head upwards slightly so he could peer down his nose at the pair, Kaoru watched the corner of his mouth curve into a weak semblance of a smile.

Kaoru inwardly cringed and held back a groan. The last thing she wanted to do was hold a conversation with a man who considered himself a glorious specimen of mankind. The urge to roll her eyes, and let out a completely unladylike snort was overwhelming, and she felt a small slip of laughter escape her at the thought. Unfortunately Lord Dewberry thought her amusement was directed to whatever he had said, which Kaoru had effectively tuned out. She felt her heart sink a little at the possibility of spurring on the prig.

And then the worst happened.

He asked to escort her to dinner.

Kaoru barely suppressed a shudder.

"Well, I…I…," she stuttered, shooting Misao a discreet glare as she heard her stifle an amused giggle. "I…"

"She's already agreed to accompany me, I'm afraid, Dewberry. Isn't that right Miss Kamiya?" a familiar voice remarked from behind Kaoru. She felt a delicious shiver travel up her spine. Raising her gaze, she watched as Kenshin rounded the loveseat to stand directly in front of her. Reaching for her hand, he lifted it slowly and lowered a small kiss onto it in polite greeting. Kaoru suddenly wished she hadn't been wearing a glove so she could have actually felt his lips. Blinking slightly at that thought, she watched as Kenshin straightened and quirked a brow, waiting for her response.

"Oh, yes," she sputtered out suddenly. "My apologies, Lord Dewberry."

The man huffed indignantly, and remained mute for a little while after this unforeseen development. In an attempt to save face, he turned his gaze to Misao, who suddenly didn't find the situation at all amusing.

"Lady Makimachi, may I have the honor?"

Having no convenient excuse, Misao grudgingly accepted and stood up slowly to allow the heavyset man to lead her into the dining room as the commencement of dinner was announced.

It was a few moments before Kaoru turned her gaze to Kenshin, and found him staring at her with a peculiar expression on his face. Scrunching her brow as she observed him offer her his arm, Kaoru stood up from the loveseat and slipped her hand through the crook of his elbow.

"Is anything wrong?" she asked.

A small smile covered his lips and he titled his head to side. "No. But, it's good to see you again, Miss Kaoru."

Letting her eyes scan his appearance, she felt a familiar sense of contentment spread through her chest as she nodded to acknowledge his kind statement. "Thank you for rescuing me from a night of boring conversation."

"I am a gentleman."

"Yes, I believe you've already informed of that on a previous occasion."

"Can't let a lady forget." He paused. "Boring conversation, eh? How do you know I won't lapse into a drawn-out monologue about how to maintain a healthy shipping business?"

She scrunched up her nose. "I'd just kick you under the table. Politely, of course. Wouldn't want to ruffle any feathers."

Kenshin led her through the doorway and down the hall toward the dining room. "And if I continued despite your counteractive force?"

"I'd try to steer you conversation elsewhere."

"Oh? To yourself?"

Kaoru snorted and grinned. "No, no. Maybe your background, or whatever you've been doing these past few years. I've found men like nothing better to boast about their past accomplishment. Though…that could get rather tedious as well, I guess."

He hummed quietly in accord. "I doubt you'd find my past interesting," Kenshin returned with an almost melancholic smile, which piqued Kaoru's interest.

"Why is that?"

He sighed as they entered the dining room. Steering her to a seat near Misao's current location, he carefully shuttered his expression and replied, "I have few happy memories, and I wouldn't wish to ruin the night with an epitaph of sadness."

Carefully watching his face, Kaoru remained silent as she sat down next to her friend, and then followed Kenshin's movements as he rounded the table and sat across from her. His face remained expertly schooled, devoid of any emotion, and Kaoru felt a prickling of exasperation. Biting her lip, she discreetly looked to see if anyone was watching. Smiling to herself, she sat straighter in her seat and stared directly at Kenshin with a determined set to her lips.

The table was too wide for her to actually kick him, so she took another plan of action. Pulling her leg back, she swung it quickly forward, and artfully flung her slipper at him.

He acted as if nothing happened. Maybe she had missed?

Oh, wait. He slid his gaze slowly to hers, and speared her with a knowing stare. The corner of his mouth twitched, and he cleared his throat.

'Men,' Kaoru huffed internally as she watched his emotional shield dissipate a little.

"…isn't that right, Miss Kamiya?"

Kaoru's eyes widened and she turned quickly to Lord Dewberry, the man who had addressed her.

"Pardon, Lord Dewberry. I'm afraid I was woolgathering."

Out of the corner of her eyes, she noticed Kenshin cough into his napkin.

Dewberry was not ruffled by her inattention. "I merely asked if you liked the soup?"

"Soup?"

He stared blankly at her for a moment. "Yes. The soup in front of you."

Kaoru blinked and turned her gaze to the table. Sure enough, a steaming bowl of soup sat before her. "Oh, I'm sure it's wonderful," she replied with a forced smile as she grabbed her spoon. It was rather good, she admitted as she felt the flavorful concoction touch her tongue.

Kaoru carefully ignored Dewberry's next few questions, feigning a small attention span as she purposely made him repeat his words multiple times. Apparently he got tired of her lack of concentration and turned his attention to Misao, much to her friend's distress.

The unfortunate lack of privacy made it dreadfully hard to carry on a conversation with Kenshin, and Kaoru found that the small talk she managed throughout the majority of the dinner was becoming tedious. Misao was definitely shrewd in her observation of Kaoru's actions around Kenshin. Kaoru was sure she had noticed the slight hint of familiarity between the two, and she knew she could expect a curious interrogation at the end of the night.

In fact, when dinner ended, and the majority of men retired to the parlor and the women gathered to return the sitting room they had inhabited previously, she felt Misao's eyes boring into her when Kenshin rounded the table and asked her if she would join him in a tour around the house.

Thankfully, he carried her lost slipper discreetly in his hand, and passed it to her while no one was watching. She slid it onto her foot as quickly as possible. As she accepted his offer for a tour, Kaoru bid a polite farewell to the other occupants in the room and followed Kenshin out of the dining room.

"You do realize this is quite improper?" Kaoru questioned quietly.

"It will be fine," he intoned with a comforting smile, motioning behind his shoulder toward the maid that followed them discreetly.

She was silent for a moment. "If you say so," she replied, and tilted her head to the side. "Where are we going?"

"The gardens are very nice," he started, but wasn't allowed to continue when Kaoru suddenly expelled an excited breath, her eyes widening perceptibly.

"I completely forgot," she exclaimed, tugging his arm. "Come with me to the carriage I arrived in."

Faced with her obvious enthusiasm, he found he couldn't refuse, and followed her obediently as she led him his outside and down the gravel drive to where the carriage she had arrived in had been stopped. The maid serving as their chaperone stood a distance away, though never took her eyes off the couple. Quickly opening the door, she searched blindly for a moment before pulling out a large, thin package.

"Let's go somewhere to find some light," she said.

Kenshin led her back to the house, taking her quietly to the moderately lit library stemming with countless books. Making sure to keep the door open, he motioned Kaoru inside. It was there that she placed her package on the surface of one of the tables in the room, and slowly peeled away to protective paper covering which had kept the unknown possession hidden until now.

His eyes widened as they settled on the painting she had finished many days previously - the one he had watched her paint…the one which she painted with such hidden rapture, such apparent concentration…such need for success. The painting was stunning in its subtlety, the animals catching one's attention first for they were live subjects. But, what really defined the painting was not the living subjects, but the scenery, which stilled the heart because of its understated splendor and unusual luminosity.

Kenshin rose his gaze to Kaoru's expectant one, and he smiled. "Thank you for showing me this."

"How could I not?" she questioned with a pleased glint to her eyes. "I'm not sure I would have been able to finish it without your constant presence."

"I'm sure you would have."

"Wishful thinking," she rejoined.

"I do hope you've started your next work?" he asked, raising a speculative eyebrow.

Kaoru sighed and stepped back to slump ungracefully onto the cushions of a nearby sofa. "I haven't been able to."

"You plan to, though, right?"

"Yes. I was thinking of painting a portion of the gazebo in the estate's gardens, but now it seems almost too easy. Not challenging enough." She turned to the look at him, his form silhouetted against the backdrop of the orange fire flickering in the library's hearth. He calmly slipped his hands into his pockets. "Do you know of anyplace I might paint?"

Kenshin was silent for a few moments before shaking his head. "No, not at the moment. I might after some thought."

She nodded in response, and caught her lower lip between her teeth as she pondered his words. "You could write me, because I still won't be available for morning excursions. I know you're aware of the address," she started, turning her gaze to his, "I've forgotten to thank you for the painting you sent me. It was a very thoughtful gift." She heard his soft chuckle, and felt her heart warm at the sound.

"I thought maybe you'd see it as another sign that I am an absolutely disastrous painter."

"Quite the opposite, actually," she murmured.

Kenshin stepped closer to her and kneeled so that he was eye-level with her. Kaoru folded her hands in her lap and tilted her head to the side, silently questioning him. He held out his hand, imploring her to take it. Leaning forward, she did just that, settling her palm against his and rising to her feet amidst the rustle of her evening gown.

"I'll have one of the servants place your painting back in your carriage," he told her softly as they neared the open door.

"Thank you."

"And, Miss Kaoru," he began, "I promise to write to you about my thoughts on a suitable landscape for your art."

"I hope you have good suggestions," she replied as they walked down the hall.

"I'll do the best I can."

Kaoru laughed softly and placed her free hand on the arm he was currently leading her with. "I'm glad you were here."

He didn't respond immediately, and Kaoru turned her head to look at his familiar features. He stopped in the doorway of the sitting room where the gaggle of women were gossiping about one thing or the other, and with a slight bow of his head, Kenshin replied, "I'm equally glad."


	5. Correspondence

**Author's Note**: I'm sorry for not replying individually to everyone who reviewed for the last chapter like I have been doing. When I got online to do it last night, this site was acting screwy so I was unable to do the reviewer responses. And then tonight I figured you'd rather have me update than to have me yabber. So, here's the next chapter.

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. I appreciate them all more than you can imagine. Thank you to: **Royal blueKitsune**, **nebulia**, **Threedaysunrise**, **whoknoez**, **unknown beedee**, **MikaylaMae**, **Ravyn**, **ixchen**, **animeLCgrl**, **crazy fanfic lover**, **Youkoforever**, **I Heart Edward Cullen**, **Jasmine blossom625**, **Lendra-chan**, **flaming-amber**, **Reignashii**, **Super Sheba**, **skenshingumi**, **sulou**, **Crimson Rayne**, **ShadeSpirit**, **SilverNimbus**, and **Anonymous but very interested**.

This chapter starts off quite differently than the others. I gave you a clue toward the end of the last chapter on what I would be doing, but it really was kind of an abstract hint. To refresh memories, I'm putting in an excerpt. Hope everyone enjoys!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

_excerpt from Chapter 4:_

"_And, Miss Kaoru," he began, "I promise to write to you about my thoughts on a suitable landscape for your art."_

_"I hope you have good suggestions," she replied as they walked down the hall._

_"I'll do the best I can."_

_Kaoru laughed softly and placed her free hand on the arm he was currently leading her with. "I'm glad you were here."_

_He didn't respond immediately, and Kaoru turned her head to look at his familiar features. He stopped in the doorway of the sitting room where the gaggle of women were gossiping about one thing or the other, and with a slight bow of his head, Kenshin replied, "I'm equally glad."_

* * *

**A Soft Hope**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"_Correspondence"_

* * *

_Dear Miss Kaoru,_

_I find that no matter how hard I think about where an ideal place for you to paint would be, the answer remains elusive. Any location that I think of is always too far away for you to spend a few hours a day there. Do you think your hosts will know of a place on the grounds of the estate that is suitable?_

_Yrs,_

_Kenshin_

_-----------------------_

_Dear Lord Himura (Kenshin),_

_I have already interrogated my hosts quite thoroughly unfortunately. They originally recommended the pond, which I have already painted. I've considered taking Alistair for a ride to explore the land, but the time I claim as my own seems intangible these days. I fear I won't be able to paint for a while…_

_Yours,_

_Kaoru_

_------------------------_

_Dear Miss Kaoru,_

_Of course you shall paint. Don't despair about lack of time. I'm sure it will present itself when you're ready._

_What do you find you look for when trying to find a place to paint? Scenery? Beauty? Wildlife? To continue my search in more depth, I would like to know what makes a subject attractive to you._

_Yrs,_

_Kenshin_

_------------------------_

_Dear Lord Himura (Kenshin),_

_What a hard question. I've been sitting here at my desk pondering it for the last hour, and yet I still don't have a clear response. Unusual, indeed. I will try to answer to the best of my ability, though I apologize ahead of time if it becomes obtuse._

_I look for…a place that…that…well it must contain a soul of its own. Does that makes any sense at all? I want a place that speaks to me when I'm there, and exudes a singular aura that proclaims rarity. It can ugly, beautiful, or ordinary, but when I find the perfect place, my skin prickles and my heart races, and I innately know that this is where I want to be._

_I suppose I'm being a little too picky._

_Yours,_

_Kaoru_

_-----------------------_

_Dear Miss Kaoru,_

_It could prove to be a little difficult to find a place that you shiver at when you're not with me. I can only observe with my eyes, not the rest of my being, like you apparently can do so effortlessly. The only place on earth that makes me feel as you described so eloquently in your last letter is the sea._

_Yrs,_

_Kenshin_

_P.S._

_Don't feel you have to call me Lord Himura. It makes me feel stodgy(as I've already informed you)._

_-----------------------_

_Dear Kenshin (as you requested),_

_The sea? I have never been able to really admire the sea at length. I can only claim weak glimpses. Is it beautiful? I've heard many accounts, though I'm sure they could never muster up to the real thing._

_Yours,_

_Kaoru_

_P.S. There is no need to add the surname 'Miss'. Though if you must because of decorum, I shall understand._

_------------------------_

_Dear Miss Kaoru,_

_I spent most of life on the sea, and I consider it my childhood home. It is many things: beautiful, joyous, melancholy, angry, vengeful… I consider it an old friend that I've been through many trials with. Do you realize we are but a half hour's ride from it?_

_Yours truly,_

_Kenshin_

_------------------------_

_Dear Kenshin,_

_Truly? It is that close, and I wasn't even aware? How odd. My hosts never mentioned. I'm very curious now. It is almost a shame that I'm so near it, yet will not have the chance to visit. I assume my hosts never talk about it, because they have no intention of going. I wish I were able to see why you find the sea so dear._

_Yours,_

_Kaoru_

_-------------------------_

_Dear Miss Kaoru,_

_If your hosts do not plan on taking you to visit the ocean's shore, I would like to take it upon myself to escort you there. You might find that it is exactly the place you wish to paint. If I was able to paint with your superb talent (which I obviously cannot), it is a place I would wish to render onto a canvas._

_I await your response,_

_Kenshin_

_-------------------------_

_Dear Kenshin,_

_If only I were able to get away. I would hate to allot only a few hours to explore such a destination. I'm afraid I would have to bring along the daughter of my hosts, who is also my best friend, because there is no way I could run off and not have her close on my heels for such an occasion. (I know this from many years of experience.) And I would hate to hurt her feelings by refusing her company. But, if that were the only to go, I would rather do that than stay here at the estate and twiddle my thumbs until I go mad with boredom. (Misao can only provide so much diversion and it's ridiculous how anxious I am to receive your letters. I feel as if I'm four years old again, waiting with bated breath for any correspondence.)_

_Thank you for the kind offer,_

_Kaoru_

_-----------------------_

_Dear Miss Kaoru,_

_I believe I have a solution for our predicament. I hope this evening is free, because I will be waiting outside the servants' entrance for you at exactly 9:30 tonight, so that I can take you to the sea. I will bring two mounts so you don't have to worry about saddling Alistair in the darkness. Unfortunately, the night will hide much of the sea, but this way you will able to enjoy time spent there without intruders. If you do not meet me by 10:00, I will understand you were not able to come._

_Till then,_

_Kenshin_

* * *

Kaoru was convinced she had completely and utterly lost her mind. 

She was stark raving mad. Yes, that had to be it. What sensible female would even consider running off into the night with a man she had only known for a measly month?

'But it has been a full, eventful month,' she reasoned to herself with a heavy sigh. And wasn't as if Kenshin was of the suspicious sort. In fact, he seemed perfectly and predictably harmless.

Slumping in a very unladylike manner onto the cushy armchair in her bedroom, Kaoru raised her gaze to the white ceiling.

Was she really trying to talk herself out of it? Ingrain some commonsense back into her muddled mind? It wasn't as if she hadn't already pleaded a headache and retired to her room so that she was immune from attending the planned festivities of the night. Kaoru had taken the first step, now she needed to follow through with the plan Kenshin had laid before her so abruptly.

Unfolding his letter that she held in her hand, Kaoru read the words over for the twentieth time and worried her lip in thought. She wanted to see the ocean. She truly did. And the possibly of being there alone with Kenshin had her stomach clenching in anticipatory knots.

"Oh, quit being such a ninny," she muttered to herself with an indignant huff. It wasn't as if she hadn't spent countless mornings alone with him at the small pond not far from here. Why on earth was she so nervous all of a sudden at the prospect of seeing him?

Was it because she was slowly becoming more acquainted with the mysterious earl? With each moment she spent in his presence, she found she liked him even more. He was turning out to be a wonderful friend, a dependable companion, and…and…well, she didn't know. And maybe that was what made her slightly uneasy.

But - Kaoru realized she didn't think of her apprehension as an internal warning, telling her to be suspicious. Instead, Kaoru saw it as merely an uncomfortable emotion that was just plain irritating…and quite unwanted.

And the way to get rid of it?

'Why face the root of the problem!' she convinced herself with a terse nod.

And so she did.

Roughly forty minutes later, Kaoru found herself dismounting from the bay gelding Kenshin had brought along for her sole use. A few yards in front of her, he dismounted from Lady, and led his horse over to a small thatch of sand plants where he tethered her loosely, and motioned for Kaoru to do the same with her horse. She did, and then moved to stand next to him, turning her gaze inquiringly to his. With a slight inclination of his head, Kenshin stepped forward and moved down the dark expanse of sand leading to the soothing crash of the water. Kaoru slipped off her shoes and followed, her eyes slowly taking in what was visible to her.

She had never been in a place that could literally steal her breath, and make her pause in her steps, but she found herself doing just that as her bare feet sunk into the moist sand. What a delicious sensation.

The dark provided a heavy blanket of blackness, which molded seamlessly to the melodious movements of the rolling waves. It made it difficult to really explore the depth of the ocean, and get an accurate image of the scope of the water's apparent extensiveness, but Kaoru was quite dazzled by the mysteriousness of it all. Her eyes remained content to brush shallowly over the slight sweep of water which came within inches of her toes, then miraculously slid back.

The air was intoxicating with its exotic, salty scent. Kaoru breathed in deeply, closing her eyes in the process as she felt her body relax fully into the embrace of the ocean's captivating presence.

"Do you like it?" Kenshin asked softly, his voice coming from her right.

She kept her eyes closed, though a content smile slipped slowly over her lips. "Oh, yes. It's nothing quite like I expected."

Kaoru heard him shuffle slightly. Opening her eyes and gazing at his form curiously, she watched as he looked out toward the water. His silence was almost solemn, and Kaoru found herself wanting to break his now sober and contemplative mood. Huffing a little as she tried to gain his attention, Kaoru bit her lip in attempt to a hide a mischievous grin, and with a slight shrug, she leaned backwards, falling inelegantly onto the sand below.

Kenshin's first reaction was one of concern as he quickly dropped to his knees beside her to determine if she had sustained any injuries from her abrupt fall. Instead of being racked with pain, he found her breathless and amused, her eyes twinkling with revealed mirth as she turned onto her side to bury her head in her hands to hide her laughter. Kenshin sat back on his heels with a slightly stupefied expression crossing his features, but as he watched her overcome with obvious enjoyment, he felt a small crack of a smile curl the corner of his mouth.

"You nearly gave me heart fluctuations."

Kaoru sputtered loudly. "Heart fluctuations?" she exclaimed mirthfully. She sat up suddenly with a large grin plastered on her face. "You sound like a girl!"

"I do not!" he retorted indignantly.

"A stuffy little girl," she continued, poking him playfully in the shoulder. "I would have expected more from a hardened seafaring man," Kaoru joked, quirking an eyebrow.

Kenshin's eyes narrowed and he grunted. "That, my dear, was below the belt."

Her eyes widened comically. "Oh, well, I apologize. I wouldn't want to have an indolent female angry with me."

"You've gone too far, now. Apologize or there will be repercussions."

"Repercussions?" Kaoru questioned thoughtfully as she tapped a finger against her chin. "You aren't going to take my hair ribbon are you, because I don't think it suits you very well? Pink always clashes a little with red, you know."

Kenshin choked on a sudden burst of offended laughter before grabbing for her arm, which she tactfully pulled away from his grasp. Scooting away from him in the sand, she gasped softly as she heard him follow.

"Now, now," Kaoru mumbled in attempt to mollify the affronted redhead as he neared her. "You wouldn't harm a lady, would you?"

"No," he replied as his face came within inches of hers. She could smell the rich earthy scent of his aftershave, while the piercing clarity of his amethyst gaze caused her breath to lodge in her throat. His sudden proximity made her mind go annoyingly blank as she blinked helplessly at him. A wicked smile curved his mouth - one she had never seen grace his lips before. Her heart thudded in her chest. "But, I don't see any ladies on this beach," he murmured.

Kaoru gasped with outrage, but all thoughts of displeasure fled when Kenshin swiftly wrapped his arms around her waist and hefted her quickly up as he stood. Slipping one arm underneath her knees, he kept the other underneath her back for support.

"Wha-what exactly are you doing?"

His steps began taking them closer and closer to the lapping water. She dug her fingers into the cotton his shirt as his feet splashed through the water taking them further into the rolling waves.

"Kenshin!"

"I must protect my reputation of a hardened seafaring man," he remarked.

"But, I just made that up. I don't know anything about your captaining years. You haven't told me anything." Kaoru angled her head up to glance at his features.

"It makes me all the more mysterious," he responded. Kaoru poked him forcefully in the chest causing him to noticeably wince. Kenshin suddenly stopped his movements and sighed, his mouth pursing a little in thought. The water reached up to his mid-thigh, soaking his pants. "Fancy a swim?"

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I know," he grinned.

"Please don't dro - What?"

She glared at him. He raised an eyebrow innocently in response.

"Put me down!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, you horrible man. I ought to pull all of your hair out, strand by strand…"

"We'd be here all night," he cut in solemnly.

"…and then I should shave off your eyebrows…"

He chuckled.

"…then I just might…I might…," she paused and glared up at him. "Are you going to put me down?" she questioned again.

"Now?"

At the burst of annoyed breath she expelled, Kenshin nodded slowly, and muttered, "Alright."

Unfortunately, Kaoru had forgotten he stood thigh-deep in the ocean water and when her bare feet slipped into the water, she let out a startled gasp. Her arms whipped up and wrapped tightly around his neck as she suddenly shrieked, "Don't put me down!" But by the time she managed to get the words out, she was standing in the water and her pants were soaked.

"My apologies," he whispered, his mouth so close to her ear she could feel the heat from his breath.

Belatedly she realized that she was still clinging to his neck, her upper body molded tightly against his. Her first reaction was to loosen her grasp and move slightly away from him, but before she did that, she couldn't help but retort, "You did that on purpose."

"No," he admitted softly. "I fully intended to take you back to the shore completely dry. It was your insistence, which made me put you down. But seriously, Kaoru, why go to ocean if you don't plan on getting a little wet," he mused with smile.

"Oh, is _that_ what you think?" she questioned.

"Yes?" he answered hesitantly, suddenly suspicious.

"Then you won't regret me doing this," Kaoru replied with a smug smile as she pressed her palms against his chest and shoved. His eyes noticeably widened and he let out a bark of laughter as he tumbled backwards and into the water. Kenshin was able to reach behind him and catch himself before his head went completely under, but now he was truly and completely soaked.

"_Touché_," Kenshin sighed, as he slowly stood, eyeing his clothes with slight dejection as they clung to his body. When he glanced up Kaoru, he noticed her shoulders shaking. After a few seconds, he heard the small whispers of her poorly contained laughter as she wrapped her arms around her waist in attempt to quiet herself.

"Funny, eh?" Kenshin questioned, watching as her bright eyes collided with his. And suddenly, she couldn't contain her amusement, and it burst forth as if the dam broke. Her mirth was loud and almost infectious as Kenshin had press his lips firmly together to keep from smiling at her obvious glee. She took his stern-faced expression as irritation and patted him reassuringly on the shoulder.

"Don't be such a girl."

"You - are - incorrigible," he intoned, crossing his arms over his chest.

Sighing happily, Kaoru shrugged and cocked her head to the side. "It makes me endearing," she teased.

"That it does," he muttered under his breath, too low for her to hear. Kenshin watched as she tilted her head upwards toward the night sky, and froze, her mouth parting with obvious awe.

"I've never seen it so clear. The stars are stunning," she uttered, compelling Kenshin to follow her gaze.

She was right. The night sky never seemed as clear, as unhindered, as open as it did when viewed from the sea's waters. An anomalous serenity seemed to cling to the stars, brightening their shine, deepening the blackness, and dusting the sky with added brilliance.

"Don't sailors use the stars for guidance?"

Humming softly in accord, Kenshin replied, "I like to think of them as heaven's map. Always dependable. Always available. Always accurate. Except of course when covered by the clouds…those are bleak times indeed, especially when one is without a compass."

"How…how long were you a sailor?" Kaoru asked hesitantly, moving her eyes from the night sky to him.

"Most of my life," he answered quietly. Sighing, he said, "I haven't captained a ship in seven years. But, let's not speak of such boring things."

It had been stupid of her to ask him a question he clearly did not want to talk about. Sometimes she just couldn't help herself, and often blurted out sentences before she even realized what she was doing. Before Kenshin could completely close himself off to her emotionally, Kaoru reached out and grabbed his forearm, wrapped her fingers around his cool skin.

He was slightly startled by her abrupt movement and before he realized it, was following her unquestionably as she led him out of the water and onto the sand of the shore. Silently, she settled down, crossing her legs and peering up at him keenly.

"The sand is going to stick to your clothes," he warned.

Kaoru shrugged. "Too late now."

With a sigh, Kenshin nodded, then sat down beside her. Leaning back, he crossed his arms behind his head and used them as a convenient cushion. The two remained that way for some time, lost in the darkness, in the harmonious slip of water against sand, in the comfortable silence that infolded them as they rested under a stunning spread of luminous stars.

Kaoru reached down and dug her fingers into the cool sand, delighting in the feel of the fine grains against her skin. Sitting there beneath the endless sky and next to the calming presence of a man she had come to know in such a short time, Kaoru exhaled deeply as she thought back on the months, days, and minutes that had led to this moment in time, and in a way it was humbling. It felt odd take part in such peace after a time of such turmoil had dominated her life. When she had agreed to journey to the country for a short time, she honestly hadn't thought it would help to even slightly dull her ever-present pain.

"Are you all right? You seem so melancholy all of a sudden."

Mildly surprised, Kaoru turned to Kenshin and stared at his shadowed face for moment before answering. "I'm just remembering."

She could tell he didn't want to pry, but it was almost out of politeness that he continued. "Sad memories?"

A small, sorrowful smile curved Kaoru lips. "A little of both, I guess." A heavy press of silence fell and Kaoru hesitated. She hadn't spoken to anyone about her parents except with Misao, because it was so unbelievably hard to articulate about them and not feel as if an oppressive shroud was suffocating her.

But, as she looked intently into Kenshin's penetrating stare, she noticed something that set her completely at ease…understanding. How, she didn't know. But it was there nonetheless. He seemed to understand the difficulty about thinking of expressing whatever made her hold her tongue - he understood the sadness swimming in her eyes.

And it was with a calm and steady voice that she said, "My parents died almost a year ago, and…I've had a very hard time coming to terms with their passing." Sitting forward and turning her gaze toward the water, Kaoru bent her legs and brought her knees against her chest. "I came to Kent to help…alleviate that pressing pain."

"I'm sorry," she heard him murmur softly. There was a slight rustling, and then he was sitting upright beside her.

"I am, too," she whispered. "It's difficult being alone in the world."

"Has the countryside been helpful to you?"

A half-smile curved her lips. "I've painted the majority of my life. It has always been an eternal constant for me, a passionate fixation in my mind. When I wasn't painting, I thinking of painting. When I was without paints, I'd paint in my mind. I'd never been without motivation or ideas, or the encompassing draw that constantly pulled me to my art. It was inescapable. My painting was my _life_.

"And when they died, I - I just - I completely lost the desire to even pick up a paintbrush. I learned of their death on a beautiful, sunny morning. I had been embroiled in my work as usual, making the final touches on a portrait of the three of us. It was, quite simply, the most magnificent piece I've ever painted to date. My excitement about it was barely containable, and the most significant desire that was filling my heart at the moment had been to reveal the finished product to them when they returned."

Kaoru lowered her chin on top of her upraised knees. "Maybe that's why even the thought of painting felt like a physical blow, and made my stomach curl with distaste all these months. Their support of my art and their presence was as much a part of every piece that I painted as the paint I brushed onto it. My parents quite simply embodied every reason that I painted. I don't think I'll ever paint another portrait again. I'm not sure if I have the courage to place so much emotion into another piece of art once more. It's just too utterly painful.

"Even though I took the initial step of wanting to actually paint when I arrived here, I think it was with your presence that I was able to follow through and finish that landscape." She turned her gaze to him, sighed and felt a gentle wash of contentment settle over her. "Thank you."

Kenshin bent his head slightly in wordless response, unable to verbalize a reply to her lengthy admission and heartfelt expression of gratitude. She blinked confusedly as she watched him reach out a hand, and brush his thumb against her cheekbone. It was then that she realized that he had wiped away a tear. There was something in his eyes that begged her not to cry - pleaded for her to find a reprieve to her grief. And it was through his eyes, through that expressive violet gaze, that she finally realized that there would be a life beyond what she had previously defined her existence on.

It was the slightest of touches, but when Kaoru felt the slide of his skin against her hand, her eyes widened minutely and quickly fell to find his fingers wrapping around hers. Darting her gaze to his, she watched a quiet hesitation cover his features. Letting a tentative smile touch her lips, she moved her hand to curl around his. And Kaoru felt more at peace with herself in that moment than she had felt in many, many months.

* * *

Slinking down the hall in the middle of the night like a common criminal was a little nerve-racking. Thankfully, the halls were deserted, so the chances of being spotted as she snuck back into her room were decreased, and that gave her some comfort. But, not much. A creak of the floorboards behind her made Kaoru instinctively flatten herself against the wall while shifting her eyes about her surroundings to ascertain what had caused the noise. When nothing was revealed to her as threatening, she expressed a large sigh of relief and continued her covert trek down the dimly lit hallway. 

A heavy weight lifted off her shoulders when she finally reached her bedroom door. Stealthily turning the knob, she quickly hurried inside, and then sunk wearily against the steady wood.

"So do you really have a headache, or are you just delusional?"

Kaoru should have been surprised by the voice that had originated from behind her, but she wasn't…not in the least. She bopped her forehead absently against the door with frustration, and then slowly turned around to face her best friend. Misao sat in the chair before the fireplace, her legs curled under her, and book perched in her lap. A black brow was raised quizzically and her mouth curled into a sardonic frown.

"A little of both," Kaoru admitted with a slight shrug.

"You should be glad that I trust you implicitly," Misao retorted, her eyes narrowed.

"Oh?"

Misao grabbed her book and pointed it at Kaoru, hoping to get her point more firmly across. "I should have told my parents you had suddenly gone missing, but instead, I snuck in here and waited for you for three and half hours."

Kaoru moved over to the bed and sat down on the edge. "Why didn't you tell?"

"You don't think I haven't noticed how you've been acting lately? Ever since you stopped going away in the morning, you've been moping around. And last week at that dinner with Lord Himura! And what about all those letters you received and sent out this past week." Misao frowned. "You've never been interested in penmanship."

"Have I really been that obvious?"

Misao sighed, and for the first time that night, the beginnings of a smile curled the corner of her lips. "Only to a person who knows you better than they know themself."

"I never have been able to keep secrets from you, have I?"

"You've never wanted to, Kaoru."

"Well, you can bet that keeping this to myself hasn't been easy."

Misao stood from the chair and walked slowly over to the bed where Kaoru sat. "Why do you feel the need to keep this from me?"

Kaoru sighed heavily, watching Misao as she sat down beside her. "I was afraid I would be making more out of something that really meant little."

"And now?"

"I still honestly don't know."

"Tell me about this…conflict of yours."

And Kaoru did.

* * *

For those who interested..._Valaroma_, one of the reviewers for this story, brought up a interesting question. What was the fashion/clothing like during the early 1800s, so she could get a better idea of what the characters are wearing...I found a few internet sites that have some good examples and I posted the links in my livejournal - the link to which is in my profile. Feel free to check them out. 


	6. Awakenings

**Author's Note**: Here we go again...

A special thanks to those who reviewed for the last chapter: **Reignashii**, **Super Sheba**, **I Heart Edward Cullen**, **Royal blueKitsune**, **Valaroma**, **angelwings1**, **nebulia**, **crazy fanfic lover**, **en route**, **Threedaysunrise**, **Lendra-chan**, **skenshingumi**, **ixchen**, **Ravyn**, **fashionista**, **sulou**, **JadeLightning-Wolf**, **MikaylaMae**, **Em**, **girldisturbed**, **Anonymous but very interested**, **toxiclollipop**, **ShadeSpirit**, **Youkoforever**, **ChildlikeEmpress**, and **whoknoez**.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

**A Soft Hope**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

_"Awakenings"_

* * *

The study was quiet and empty save for himself, and Kenshin preferred it that way. Constant interruptions and noisy interferences had always bothered him when he was trying to concentrate, and in truth, he found nothing more meticulous than calculating sums, determining how much of something a particular ship could carry, what supplies said ship should be stocked with, and all the other necessities needed for a merchant ship to conduct a safe and speedy delivery. The work he spent most of his time doing these days was utterly exhausting. Oh, not physically, but most definitely mentally.

It wasn't a surprise that he found himself imagining that he was standing on the deck of the ship he was currently slaving over, gazing out across the choppy water of the ocean in preparation for some great journey. But such thoughts were pointless since Kenshin had no intention of being on a ship anytime in the near future, no matter how much his body yearned for the familiar rocking, the salt swept wind, and bright midday sun that accompanied ship travel.

Blinking slightly, Kenshin sighed and rubbed his hands against his eyes tiredly. He needed some rest. Imagining being on a ship was making him irritable, and the last thing he needed was to be immersed in a sour mood. Nothing could coax him from such a mood except a good night of sleep, empty of dreams and consisting of nothing but welcoming blackness.

But, lately his blackness had not been a retreat, because _she_ invaded his mind even during those times that he considered his own. Though, he much preferred her face than the nightmares that plagued his dreams every now and then, bullying the comforting blackness and taking over his thoughts. It was odd how she managed to not only chase away the night terrors, but also the blackness.

Kenshin found that the more time he spent with her, the more she seemed to wiggle her way further into his subconscious, slowly becoming an constant, unbidden presence in his persistently turbulent mind.

He was getting too close to her.

He could feel it beginning to happen. He could the feel the easy friendship that had formed so intricately, so innocently around himself and Kaoru slowly deepening, becoming something more than was originally intended. The emotions that had started off as curious little seedlings were beginning to sprout and sooner, rather than later, he knew they would begin to bloom and show their true colors - show the complex and inescapable depth of heart that they invariably brought along with them.

Kenshin knew that he needed to begin separating himself from her, distancing their relationship back to what it had started off as: a mere curious acquaintance that spoke of only polite greetings and unassuming questions. It seemed almost overnight that Kaoru had…she had…

Well, she had become important to him. And there was only a handful of people that Kenshin considered important, and the fact that she had managed to sneak onto that list was slightly baffling and more than mildly troubling. And the most bittersweet notion of his entire relationship with her was that she wasn't aware of his past, of what had formed him into the man he was today - she didn't know of the horrible history he tried to keep hidden within him, the one he found himself trying to atone for everyday that he lived.

And as he sat and thought, imagining her reaction to the startling news she now knew nothing of, Kenshin closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, because what other reaction besides shock, antipathy and distrust could he hope to receive?

The door of the study opened and familiar figure stepped through the doorway. The man who entered was tall with unruly brown hair and was known for his loud, sarcastic attitude. He liked to lull people into thinking he was a big lout with no brain whatsoever, but Kenshin was well aware of the shrewd, loyal persona that was usually hidden so well.

"Sanosuke," Kenshin greeted, leaning back in the chair behind the cluttered desk.

Sanosuke lowered his head slightly in a respectful greeting, and then leaned lazily against the doorjamb of the study. "Aoshi wants to know if you've gotten any further with your…work?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Kenshin was silent for a moment, his expression tense as he lowered his gaze to the papers in front of him. "You'll have to inform him that more time will be needed."

"He won't like that."

The corner of Kenshin's mouth lifted as he sent Sanosuke a slightly amused look. "And?"

Sanosuke didn't reply to the redhead's question, and instead narrowed his eyes astutely and cocked his head to the side. "You've been distracted lately."

"And?" he repeated.

"Do you think that's wise with all the things that need to be ready before we can send off the next shipment of textiles that Aoshi special ordered?"

"If Aoshi wants this shipment out as soon as possible, he's perfectly capable of sitting down and working out the grunt work by himself. But because of other responsibilities, he asked me to help. I'm merely a convenient addition to his progress."

"I know." Sanosuke paused, almost hesitating before speaking again. "But this distraction…aren't you getting too familiar? Too close?"

Kenshin was silent as he seemed to mull over that proffered question.

"She's going to ask questions soon. Are you ready to tell her everything?"

Kenshin let out a heavy breath, and lifted his head to gaze at Sanosuke with an intuitive and completely aware expression on his face. A sad smile covered his lips. "I'm not sure, Sanosuke."

The other man shrugged slightly as he grinned sheepishly. "Honestly it's none of my business." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a slip of paper addressed to Kenshin. "This arrived about half an hour ago." Walking across the room, he held out the letter and handed to Kenshin, who in turn stared at the scrawled writing that spelled out his name on the front. Without another word, Sanosuke turned and walked to the door, which he silently exited from and closed behind him with a quick and barley audible snap.

Turning his attention to the letter he held in his hand, Kenshin hastily tore open the wax seal and revealed the contents to his quizzical gaze. The signature at the end of the letter had him confused, for it proclaimed that Kaoru had sent the note he held. But, the handwriting, though admittedly similar, was not hers.

The writing politely asked for his presence at Stirling Hall later that day or maybe tomorrow if he hadn't the time available currently. Frowning, Kenshin furrowed his brow and absently tapped his fingers against the desk. He didn't know whether to be concerned or merely curious by this new development, and he wasn't surprised when he felt an odd combination of both emotions rooting in his chest in an uncomfortable twist of sensations.

Scanning the note again, Kenshin decided on the best course of action. Reaching for a clean piece of paper while grabbing his quill, he moved to pen a note to explain his absence to Aoshi and Sanosuke.

* * *

The country was quickly becoming her new ally. It was easy for Kaoru to determine that she was slowly beginning to prefer the quiet and leisurely pace that it seemed to flow at, completely opposite of the demanding city. She had been blessed with wonderful weather this afternoon, as well as a comfortable and quite delectable warmth that spread easily over her skin.

And it was with a great sense of pleasure that Kaoru found herself sitting out in the pleasant climate upon her trusty folding chair, her easel placed in front of her and her paints available to her searching hands. Though she had previously expressed her dissatisfaction at painting the gazebo, Kaoru had relented that doing anything, really, was better than doing absolutely nothing at all.

She was silently planning out what to do first. There was a methodical way in which she planned every piece, and though this one lacked the usual challenge she heaped upon herself, her way of painting would not change.

One of the only conveniences of working directly behind the Stirling Hall in its veritable backyard, was the fact that she didn't have to cart her supplies around on Alistair as if were he were a pack-pony and risk damaging her work. But, honestly, Kaoru would have liked nothing better than to partake on another venture all on her own again.

'If only,' she sighed, pursing her lips and staring silently at the blank canvas situated in front of her.

She rolled her drawing pencil between the thumb and forefinger of her right hand and narrowed her gaze onto the portion of the gazebo that was the most detailed with its beautiful woodwork that was so intimately intertwined with the blossoming flowers of the garden. She tilted her head to the side, and then placed the tip of the pencil to the canvas and began to lightly sketch.

She had only managed a few small opening pencil marks when she heard her name being called in the distance by Stirling Hall's butler, George.

"Miss Kamiya," he interrupted, catching her attention.

Turning, Kaoru lowered the hand she held her pencil in, and twisted in her chair to face the elder man as he walked down the curved path of the garden toward her.

"Miss Kamiya," he continued. "Lord Himura, Earl of Glairmoor, is here to see you. Shall I show him here?"

Kaoru's lips parted with muted surprise, and she craned her neck to see if the earl stood behind the butler. "Oh, yes. Please do."

George nodded politely in response, turned and disappeared back down the path presumably to fetch the earl from the house and bring him back to where Kaoru was currently occupying herself. Kaoru felt the sudden urge to straighten her skirts and make sure her hair was properly in place, but belatedly decided against it, reasoning with herself that it wasn't as if Kenshin had never seen her disheveled from her self-encompassing work.

It was really quite refreshing not having to worry if he would think of her as a complete slob if she were slightly unfashionable at the moment.

Footsteps on the garden path alerted her ahead of time, and Kaoru quickly stood up from her chair in anticipation of Kenshin's arrival. When he rounded the curve, an unbidden smile teased her lips, and an unexpected swirl of pleasure curled in her stomach. His features held a congenial expression and his eyebrows were elevated in welcome as he walked closer to her standing form.

Kenshin's first glimpse of her, against the backdrop of the wonderfully decorated gazebo, made his heart do an odd, disconcerting somersault in his chest. The pretty turquoise gown she wore set off her complexion beautifully, and though her hair wasn't pulled back in the normal female fashion, and instead loosely contained by a thick ribbon matching the color of her dress, Kenshin found that her informal appearance only accentuated her natural charms.

"This is a surprise," she blurted out when he came to a stop before her.

"Well, you did send me a note inviting me to come," Kenshin responded, cocking his slightly to the side and spearing her with a knowing look.

Immediately befuddled, Kaoru scrunched her brow and opened her mouth too respond, but no words escaped straight away. She blinked confusedly before frowning and replying in an odd tone, "No, I didn't."

Kenshin sighed in response. "Just as I presumed."

Completely mystified at this point, Kaoru was only able to utter a terse, "About what?"

"Someone sent a letter to me, and signed your name."

Eyes widening, Kaoru lowered her gaze confusedly. "But, why? Who would do such a -"

At her sudden intake of breath and the narrowing of her eyes, Kenshin ascertained that she had a fairly good idea of who the naughty culprit was.

"I can't believe her!" she burst out quite suddenly, turning her astonished and somewhat irate gaze to his. "I ought to throttle her."

It was hard to contain his amusement at her outrage, but he did it nonetheless. "So I take it there's no reason for me to worry?"

"No, of course not." She paused. "Why? Were you worried?"

"Concerned is more accurate. When the letter came, it was obviously not in your handwriting, so I honestly didn't know what to think at the time. I decided the best course of action would be to visit."

Kaoru heaved a deep breath. "That's very considerate of you." He watched as she lifted her gaze, still obviously distracted by her irritation. She muttered some choice words under her breath that he wasn't quite able to understand, and then very suddenly her lips pressed together forcefully, and she sent a fuming glare to one of the second story windows. "She's watching," Kaoru breathed abruptly. It seemed like that last action completely undid any of her composure, and Kaoru leaned down, grabbed a handful of pebbles and tossed them viciously at the particular window she appeared to detest so much.

It was almost too much to watch as she gasped and muttered, "She's laughing at me." Turning to him, she repeated, "She's laughing at me." Scanning his features, Kaoru scowled and planted her hands firmly on her hips. "Go on. You're amused as well. You might as well smile or laugh and get it over with like her," she grumbled, motioned upwards with her shoulder.

"Well, if you insist…"

Quirking an eyebrow sardonically, Kaoru sighed and shook her head. She turned away from him as an amused smile slid slowly over his lips and the skin around his eyes crinkled. "Don't be too hard on her."

"Ha!" Kaoru retorted, with belligerence. "I should ignore her for a week."

Kenshin watched as she suddenly whirled around and began to walk, bypassing her painting supplies. She traveled through the gazebo, and continued down through the garden path.

"That's what I get for confiding in her," he heard her mutter to herself.

Before she could disappear out of sight, Kenshin decided following her would be the best plan, so he set off in even strides after her.

"Should we go much farther? We are getting out of sight of the house," he asked, glancing behind him as the numerous plants began to cover their presence in the plentiful garden.

"That is exactly what I intend," Kaoru replied mulishly.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"No."

Kenshin was surprised to find himself chuckling as he caught up to her, keeping in stride with her willful walk. "Do you have a specific place where we're going?"

She hesitated a moment before answering, "Maybe."

Nodding more to himself than to her response, Kenshin replied, "Lead the way."

Sliding an arched look at him, Kaoru remained silent and continued forward until they reached the end of the quaint flowered path and came to a small uprising in the earth touched by only the large presence of an old oak tree. It was domineering and brilliant in its statuesque emergence from the earth. Wide braches radiated from the large trunk and spread numerous fingers of shade over the grass.

Peering at Kaoru as he heard her sigh heavily, he watched as she walked slowly up the incline toward the tree. He remained at the base as she stopped before the tree, turned and leaned back against the oak's steady girth.

"Are you okay?" he asked, scanning her weary features.

She raised her gaze to his, and he felt an odd sensation root in his chest at the warmth he found in the rich sapphire depths. Nodding slowly, Kaoru responded, "I'm just being silly." Chewing her bottom lip in thought, an uncertain smile crossed her features. "You know, I think that's first time I've been truly angry in a good while."

Stepping closer to her, Kenshin replied, "Did it feel good?"

She closed her eyes and look of peaceful pleasure covered her. "Oh, yes. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to want to physically slug someone."

"So in truth, you really are an overly aggressive person?"

Opening one eye to squint at him, Kaoru pursed her lips. "I can be when provoked."

Stepping even closer to her, Kenshin said, "Should I keep my distance, then?"

"You don't have to," she murmured.

He was only a few feet away from her now, his form directly in front of hers, his eyes trained openly on her searching gaze. He watched as her lips parted, silently noticing that she seemed to be having some difficulty keeping her eyelids open to match his compelling stare.

At that moment, Kenshin didn't know what exactly came over him, but as he neared her stationary form, it seemed almost like a separate entity took over his body and clouded his mind with thoughts he had not let himself feel in years. His breath seemed caught, his heart thudded heavily in his chest, and he could feel an impatient sweat beading his brow. He felt dizzy and disconnected and as nervous as a teenager.

As she stood in front of him silently, head tilted slightly while studying his discomfiture, Kenshin swore he could see that the very same emotions rampaging through his system were clearly present in her as well. She seemed to be in the middle of her own battle, filled with the swirling sensations that nearly immobilized him.

Swallowing, Kenshin realized he was thinking entirely too much. Reaching up carefully, his fingers slipped across the soft skin of her cheek, leaving a trail of blazing warmth. He felt her swift intake of breath and watched as her eyes widened the slightest amount, slowly filling with an amazing trust and innocence that completely humbled him.

Then, she did something that completely took him off guard. Leaning into him, she lifted her hands to wrap around his neck, fingers clasping tightly underneath his long ponytail. And Kenshin was completely undone.

Rationality screamed at him, but some things couldn't be stopped or ignored.

Leaning down, covering the small gap between the two of them, Kenshin laid his lips softly against hers. The sense of absolute righteousness that overwhelmed him was tremendous and wonderful and it would be something he'd always remember.

Kaoru was soft against his touch, her lips molded gently against his. He felt her tighten her grip around his neck, successfully bringing herself more fully against his body. She was completely intoxicating with her uncertain touches, her eagerness, and her apparent inexperience. And when he felt her lips part beneath is own, he was utterly lost in her.

* * *

Kaoru was quite sure she had died and gone to heaven. How had she never known how _wonderful_ it felt to be kissed? It was an utter shame, really, that this was her first time. In her opinion, it would have been nice to have a little experience under her belt so that she didn't fell like an incompetent ninny when she was with someone who truly mattered. And as she stood with her arms clasped tightly around Kenshin's neck, her lips softly brushing his, she realized that he truly meant an enormous amount to her. But, it didn't seem the time to sort through her tangled emotions, and all coherent thought fled from her jumbled mind when she absently parted her lips and felt his tongue slip slowly through that innocent opening.

_Oh…oh, dear_.

It was quite sudden as she felt her knees dissolve into a puddle of mush, and if her arms hadn't been clasped around his neck and his hands hadn't been circling her waist, Kaoru was quite sure she would have made an embarrassing slide to the ground.

These new sensations she was suddenly awash with were almost startling in their intensity, and it was with his slow sweep of her mouth with his tongue that Kaoru felt a soft moan resonate in her throat. The slight sound seemed to catch Kenshin's attention, and when he gradually pulled his lips from hers, Kaoru felt bereft. She was certain that her disappointment showed on her face, and the slight smile on Kenshin's lips as he studied her made it apparent he had aptly read her apparent frustration.

He made a tender motion of catching a stray strand of her dark hair and tucking it gently behind her ear. Though she honestly could think of nothing to say at the moment, the silence that fell between the two of them was far from uncomfortable and awkward. It seemed absolutely natural.

* * *

Misao was still watching the gardens from behind her second story window when the unlikely duo appeared again…nearly a half hour later. It was good timing, too, because Misao had been planning to trek off after them soon if they hadn't returned within the next few minutes. They continued down the path of the garden, passed Kaoru's painting supplies, and instead of heading into the house, they traveled alongside the wall and around to the right side. Misao guessed Kaoru was bidding farewell to the earl for the day.

It seemed her plan the lure the earl to Stirling Hall had gone all too well, she mused.

It was couple more minutes before she saw Kaoru reappear, her face cast downwards as if watching her feet as she walked. She seemed to pause for a moment before remembering that she had left her supplies in the middle garden. As Misao watched her head back to the place she had specified for her art, she noticed Kaoru seemed slightly distracted, her footsteps slow and unhurried as her eyes seemed caught by some unknown object in the distance.

It was unlike her to be so preoccupied, and Misao pinched her brow in response as she pondered her friend's odd behavior. Whatever seemed to be affecting Kaoru must have been rather important, because when she moved to sit down, she almost completely bypassed the chair, but luckily caught herself sheepishly before she tumbled gracelessly to the ground.

Her behavior only intrigued Misao more as she observed her friend as Kaoru absently grabbed her pencil and ran it slowly through her fingertips instead of returning to the sketching she had begun an hour before. Prior to today, Misao had never seen Kaoru so befuddled.

Quirking an eyebrow, she bit the inside of her cheek and turned away from the window. She had every intention of dragging out the reason Kaoru seemed so distracted.

As Misao walked through the hallway and toward the stairs, a proud grin slipped over her lips as she began to imagine what kind of reaction Kaoru would have when they came face to face after her little prank.

Kaoru throwing the pebbles at her had been amusing, indeed.

* * *

The next few days were almost anticlimactic compared to the lively afternoon Kaoru had spent with Kenshin under the oak tree, away from the prying eyes of her friend. The following quiet days allowed her to escape to the gazebo for at least an hour a day to work on her new painting, and though usually her concentration was completely captured by her work, this time she constantly found her mind wandering, scurrying off here and there after every stray thought that crossed her…especially those containing a particular redhead.

Kaoru had come to the conclusion that she honestly didn't know what to think. She went over the meaningful moment countless times in her head, relived the new sensations that had taken her entirely by surprise, and almost absently, she found herself pressing tentative fingertips to her lips while lost in deep contemplation. It was almost irritating the way she drifted off into thoughtful oblivion, unintentionally closing herself off from the surrounding world.

So when Misao suggested to two of them travel to the attic and search through the musty junk to find some random, very old newspaper that apparently had an article about one of her ancestors, a great aunt or something, it was almost with unrestrained excitement that she accepted. The idea of a hunt for a lost item was thrilling and she took on the assignment with Misao with complete determination and seriousness.

As she expected, the attic was musty and dark. The two women brought a few lanterns with them for added light, but they also moved to the covered windows and quickly allowed the natural light to pour in and illuminate their surroundings. Kaoru had never been extremely comfortable in rooms filled with dust, and almost immediately she felt the telltale stirring of her nose as she yearned to sneeze. She only hoped it would be a single action and not a string of them that left her annoyed and stuffy.

And thankfully, after she sneezed once, she didn't feel the urge to repeat it.

"Bless you," Misao mumbled as she scanned the room.

"Thank you."

Misao chewed her lip as she pondered where to begin in the junk-filled, supply-riddled room. Stepping over to one corner, she settled down onto the creaky wooden floor and peered curiously at a large wooden trunk. She glanced up at Kaoru for a moment.

"I'll start on this side of the attic. Why don't you begin over there, so we can cover more space in a more condensed amount of time."

Kaoru followed Misao's line of vision and nodded. Weaving her way through the haphazardly piled objects, it took her a minute or two to reach her destination. When she finally did, she sank to the floor and folded her legs beneath her as she spread her eager fingers over a dust covered mahogany chest. With almost tentative movements, she slipped her fingertips under the top of the chest, and slowly opened it.

Folded clothes, a silver hairbrush and matching hand mirror, three books, and tangled mass of faux pearl necklaces were the only visible items. Pushing the clothes to the side, she only revealed more clothes. And under those clothes were more clothes again. Pursing her lips, Kaoru straightened the old dresses. Her hand stilled on the tacky pearl necklaces, and she lifted her head a little bit to gaze at Misao.

Grabbing the strands in her hand, she held them out in front of her and pasted a teasing grin on her features. "If I had known such _treasures_ would be up here, I might have just fainted dead away," she expressed suddenly, catching Misao's attention from across the room.

Her head whipped up, eyes narrowed. Why she had taken Kaoru seriously was a mystery, but when she noticed the barely-contained merriment on her friend's face, Misao scowled darkly and huffed loudly.

"If you like them _so_ much," she started sarcastically, "why don't you wear them? I'm sure they'd look smashing with your gown."

Kaoru pressed the pearls to the front of her bodice and pretended to admire them. "I think you may be on to something here, Misao."

Misao snorted in response and went back to her searching, pointedly ignoring Kaoru. With a slight shrug and a carefree smile, Kaoru slipped the necklaces over her head and allowed them to dangle around her neck.

The next few minutes were spent in silence as the two rummaged through, under and around a countless number of objects. Kaoru often found herself squinting for even though the windows were free from obstruction and the lanterns were available for assistance, she still couldn't quite see as much as she wished. The mustiness was getting to her as she sat on the floor, amidst the old and stale articles of clothing and boxes covered with aged grime.

It was with a narrow breath and the scrunching of her nose that Kaoru stood and stumbled over to the nearest window. Pushing against the glass, she hastily managed to unhook the latch and swing it open with a loud screech. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Misao grimace at the grating sound, but as the fresh air hit her face, Kaoru sighed with pleasure and proceeded to hold her upper body out of the opening.

Oh, that felt nice.

She hadn't realized exactly how stuffy it was inside until she had taken a breath of fresh air. From behind her, she heard Misao shift and then stand. The only other window in the attic screeched open and Kaoru heard a very audible sigh of relief accompanying it.

Leaning back, Kaoru frowned and stared at her friend for a moment. "So what exactly are we looking for? Some newspaper article?"

Misao ignored the question for a few moments before turning away from the bright view of the afternoon sun and scrunching her brow in thought. "My mother said she remembered seeing an article in an old newspaper about her my grandmother's brother's trek to India. He evidently wrote a short commentary on it, and the newspaper published it. I'm curious to read it."

"And what makes you think said newspaper is in this attic?" Kaoru asked skeptically, her eyes scanning the contents of the room that remained unsearched.

"My mother said she thought she remembered that the servants tended to stash newspapers up here in some odd box. They've been doing it for years."

"Do they date back as far as you want, you suppose?"

"I have no earthly idea."

Kneeling down, Kaoru poked at a moth-bitten folded cloak. "How do you get newspapers in this area anyway? We're kind of far from London."

"The previous week's worth is delivered every Sunday by messenger when we are in residence." Misao paused and raised an eyebrow quizzically. "You've been here for a little over a month. Haven't you noticed?"

"No."

Misao muttered something inaudible under her breath and turned away. Kaoru ignored her mulishly, and turned back to the work she had been entangled in previously.

The two women resumed their quiet searching, their heads bowed and minds buried in inquisition. It was a long half hour later that they finished with their respective sides of the room and converged simultaneously at the attic's center.

"It has to be here," Misao murmured to herself.

"Well…it doesn't _have_ to be."

"It has to be," she repeated stubbornly.

"Why?"

At Misao's impatient glare, Kaoru shrugged innocently.

"I just know. That's why it has to be here."

Fully aware that Misao wouldn't appreciate another sarcastic retort, Kaoru bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from speaking her mind, which became increasingly hard as she watched Misao bumble around, seemingly lost in the piles of cast-of items. Separately, they began to search through stacks of untouched objects, their eyes quickly scanning through things that were of no importance to them. It was after a dreary ten minutes that Misao uttered a happy cry, sounding as if she had stumbled on something amazing.

It was with wide eyes that Kaoru moved quickly over to where her friend sat on the floor, her hands buried in a box that could have easily been overlooked. It was covered in filth like everything else and when Misao absently pulled out a handful of browning paper, a cloud of dust accompanied the movement and infiltrated the air.

Kaoru snatched the papers from her in an attempt to stop Misao from spreading the irritating allergens even further, and then sat back on her heels to sort through the small stack of aged newspapers.

The papers were crinkled and stained from years of disuse, while the ink was starting to fade away on some of the oldest pages. It was amusing how many different years were available in the handful that Kaoru held. Some expressed dates from ten, twenty, even thirty years ago. There were two papers from the previous year that were still in good shape.

Most of the headlines on many of the papers were obscure and useless, while there were some articles with bold letters that were purely meant to be attention grabbers. Kaoru ignored them with a calculated smirk and continued on with her silent search. Only three more were left in the small stack she held, and Kaoru stood to move to a more advantageous angle to retrieve more. She was reaching out to grab another handful of additional newspapers when something about the paper she held on top in her hand caught her attention.

It was dated eight years ago, and had only one headline with damning words splashed across the top of the browning paper. She couldn't tear her eyes away from it.

_EARL OF GLAIRMOOR, PRIVATEER OF THE KING, MURDERED HIS WIFE AT SEA_

The article was short and held no relative details whatsoever. There was only inane speculation that was anything but factual, and in truth, made Kaoru's mind race even more than the original headline.

It was like a being hit with a train at full force, and suddenly she was finding it extremely hard to breathe.

It had to be incorrect. There had to be some mistake.

This meddlesome reporter had made a horrid miscalculation of the facts, and instead if correcting the blatant mistake, he'd vilified Kenshin in attempt for attention.

Kaoru's legs felt suddenly weak, and she didn't have time to search for a musty seat, for she sank like a puddle to the floor, her skirts fanning haphazardly around her.

As she stared wide-eyed, heart pounding erratically, and mind racing painfully, she realized that she was so wholly effected by this startling article because she had fallen quite inexplicably in love with Kenshin.

How, when, and why, were not questions she could knowledgeably answer. Her feelings just were. It was a horrible time to come to such a life-changing realization, and it unsettled her stomach tremendously.

Misao must have noticed Kaoru's sudden disquiet, because she looked up from her search, her brow puckered with obvious confusion as she studied her friend's deathly pale visage.

"Kaoru, is something wrong?"

Kaoru sucked in a shallow breath and turned her wide gaze to Misao. Lost, she blinked stupidly for a moment. "I," she whispered. "I…" Swallowing with great difficulty, she shook her head slowly. "I have to go."

Misao watched with lips parted in astonishment as Kaoru suddenly bolted to her feet unsteadily, turned and hurried through the maze of objects. A page of paper floated down to the floor having slipped unnoticed from Kaoru's fingers. Misao snatched it up and quickly read the unsettling proclamation.

Kaoru felt like she had suddenly been possessed. She heard Misao's startled call to stop, but her feet wouldn't heed, and her mind forcefully rebelled. Before she knew where she was going, what she was doing, why she was doing what her body so obviously was forcing her to carry out, she was at the stable, demanding a carriage to be loaned for her disposal. The stable hands were startled by her appearance and taken off guard by her abrupt behavior. But, they listened to her nonetheless.

Thankfully, one carriage was already hitched from the afternoon ride the baron and baroness had taken, so Kaoru was able to quickly climb inside and relay her decided destination to the available driver.

The carriage ride was an utter blur. Kaoru was trapped in a circle of never-ending thought that made the tiring forty minute journey seem like a mere blink of the eye. So when the rickety wheels rolled to a slow stop, she was quite surprised when the door to her right opened and a footman offered his hand the assist her down.

The sunlight was surprisingly bright as she moved from the confining protection of the carriage. Her footsteps were light and unhurried…almost hesitant now that she had reached the place she knew he would be at. The steps up to the front door seemed to stretch on forever, and so when she reached the top and stepped carefully up to the front door, she inhaled deeply as if to build up her waning courage.

The butler that answered her knock was obviously confused by her uninvited appearance, and so when led her inside, he made sure to explain that in the event the earl did not want to receive her, she would be required to make a quiet and hasty exit.

She waited in the provided sitting room anxiously, quietly buffering herself in preparation for confronting Kenshin. It didn't take him long to appear, and when he did, Kaoru felt her resolve stiffen. Her eyes scanned his familiar form, taking in his disheveled appearance and the heavy ink stains on his fingers. His hair was slightly messier than normal, and there was a tired strain to his features as if he had been slaving over his work for hours.

But, when he saw her, a completely natural smile, tinged with a shadow of concern, touched his lips.

It wasn't until he stepped closer and fully studied her features that the smile froze, and he stilled with noticeable foreboding. Something flashed in his eyes perceptively.

Kaoru's heart sank when she recognized that glint of emotion. _Guilt_.

Somehow he knew exactly what she was going to say. What she was going to ask. It was on the tip of her tongue to beg him to deny what he now so obviously knew what she was going to ask. But she stood frozen.

"Come with me to my study," he said solemnly, his quiet voice slashing through the tense silence. "It seems I have much to explain."


	7. A Guarded Past

**Author's Note**: I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. This evil authoress is sorry for leaving you with such a mean cliffhanger. (wink)

Thanks so much to all who reviewed the last chapter: **Reignashii**, **I Heart Edward Cullen**, **ixchen**, **Super Sheba**, **punKrocKergrl**, **Earthborne**, **crazy fanfic lover**, **sapphireracoongal**, **Valaroma**, **ChildlikeEmpress**, **nebulia**, **unknown beedee**, **Jasmine blossom625**, **MikaylaMae**, **ShadeSpirit**, **inuwolf04**, **Lendra-chan**, **Royal blueKitsune**, **toxiclollipop**, **Anonymous but very interested**, **JadeLightning-Wolf**, **sulou**, **jbox**, **fashionista**, **Crimson Rayne**, **skenshingumi**, **Mizz-Clumsy**, **bluerelic**, **noneedforprozac27**, **Ravyn**, **animeCLgrl**, **superlazygirl**, and **whoknoez**.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

Excerpt from Chapter 6: 

_Kaoru's heart sank when she recognized that glint of emotion. Guilt._

_Somehow he knew exactly what she was going to say. What she was going to ask. It was on the tip of her tongue to beg him to deny what he now so obviously knew what she was going to ask. But she stood frozen._

_"Come with me to my study," he said solemnly, his quiet voice slashing through the tense silence. "It seems I have much to explain."_

* * *

**A Soft Hope**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"_A Guarded Past"_

* * *

His words were said in a deeply grave tone, and Kaoru felt her heart sink at the sound of them. It was with sad eyes that she watched him hold open the door to the sitting room and incline his head slightly, entreating her to follow him. Her steps were silent and somewhat heavy as she walked forward, her hands clasped in front of her tightly. 

He closed the door behind her and turned to lead her down the hall. His pace was unusually fast, and Kaoru aptly read that as a sign of growing uneasiness within him. She kept her eyes trained on the center of his back, on the slightly wrinkled, white cotton of his shirt. He took her up a small flight of stairs, before baring left and coming to a gradual halt in front of a heavy door on the left. He opened it and quickly ushered her inside.

It was as she stepped into the dimly lit room that was crowded with numerous books, papers strewn haphazardly throughout, and warm from the blazing fire in the hearth that Kaoru suddenly wondered if she really belonged here. It seemed extremely presumptuous of her to waltz through the door of his current residence and expect him to spill the secrets that he had kept hidden from her the moment she had met him. Maybe her feelings for him were blinding her to what was really proper, and just maybe she hoped that he was affected by similar affections that made it easier for him to tell her of his guarded past.

It was with that line of thought that Kaoru realized that though Kenshin might not feel as deeply for her as she did for him, she knew that if he viewed her as merely an acquaintance, he would never feel the need to explain himself. She wouldn't be where she now stood - in his study and facing him as he stared at her cautiously with a look of detachment on his features. It was odd, but that thought gave her some comfort, however little it was.

"I can see in your eyes that something of my past has come to your attention," Kenshin began softly. "I guess it doesn't matter what exactly it is, because everything is so intertwined, it would make no sense to split up the sequence of events. And, honestly, despite my better judgment, I think you deserve to hear the whole thing."

Kenshin cleared his throat and absently ran a hand through his already mussed hair. He motioned for her to sit on the provided sofa with his free hand. It was almost automatically that Kaoru followed his suggestion, slowly sitting down onto the velvet cushions. He seemed too tense to even entertain the thought of sitting, so he clasped his hands behind his back and averted his gaze thoughtfully, obviously deciding where to begin his explanations.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru found herself asking unexpectedly, her voice immediately capturing his attention and drawing his gaze to hers. Staring into her swimming sapphire eyes, he heaved in a heavy breath and exhaled slowly.

"From the beginning?" he inquired, almost more to himself than her.

Kaoru nodded, her eyebrows drawn together as she studied his tense form.

Kenshin took a few seconds to gather his thoughts, and then began, his voice deathly calm. "My initial childhood as the heir to the earldom of Glairmoor was typical. The pressing responsibilities of the role that I would one day take over began to be ingrained into my mind the moment I was born. My parents, like many of the ton, took a supplemental role to my upbringing, preferring to have various nannies and governesses bear the main brunt of helping me grow into a respectable young man. I felt closer to the hired help than I did my own flesh and blood.

"I was seven and half years old when sickness swept the household and claimed the lives of two-thirds of the occupants, servants and nobility alike. My parents were two of the many casualties. It was at that young age I became the new Earl of Glairmoor. Because of my age, I was assigned a guardian that would help to look after the family estates and keep everything in working order until I became of age to do it myself. My only closest relative was my father's younger brother who had joined the royal navy at the age of 21, because as you know, younger sons of titled families most commonly live their out lives under some military service of the king, or they become of member of the clergy." A humorless smile flitted over Kenshin's features. "And the last thing I can picture is my uncle as a member of the clergy.

"Unfortunately for me, it was a year before my uncle returned to England after the completion of his latest mission, and during that year between the death of my parents and the guardianship of my uncle, I was chronically sick with the illness that had taken so many of the lives around me. I had just managed to rid myself of the crushing symptoms when Hiko, my uncle, arrived at the estate. When he first saw me, he said that I resembled 'a skinny wraith that could use some help in becoming a real man'. Despite many protests, Hiko took me with him on his next naval mission, and decided that I would be allowed to observe the ways of the sea.

"Because I was still so young at the time, the protests of others against my joining him at sea were somewhat weak, not only because I had to follow where my guardian demanded, but there was still plenty of time for me to return and fulfill my duties as the earl. After all, they believed I'd only be gone for a year at most.

"Then…one year, two years, five years, seven years passed and I still had yet to return to my duties as earl. By then I was fifteen years of age, and fully capable of shouldering some of the responsibilities. But, I had become intoxicated with the sea as much as my uncle, and there was nothing anyone could have said to take me away from it. In those seven years, I had learned a lifetime of knowledge that filled my soul and made me whole in a way that nothing did.

"Hiko was a genius as a captain - a brilliant tactician and leader of men. I had evolved from my introductory role of a small, sickly child to one of the valued members of the crew. I wasn't designated a particular rank, because it was prohibited, but my role on board was something between navigator and first mate.

"Hiko efficiently taught me everything he knew. I was his loyal apprentice and I was privy to every bit of knowledge that passed through the ship. But, my uncle was not a normal naval captain under the Royal Navy as I had first believed. He was a privateer that used his ship to raid others under the name of the king in attempt to gain a foothold on other territories, and to keep an eye on the happenings of the ocean. Essentially, he worked as a spy."

Kaoru sat, rapt with attention, as she watched Kenshin pace slowly and absently across a small space on the floor. His features were pinched with concentration and she bit her lip as he continued.

"I stayed with him through all those years because I loved life on the sea, and couldn't imagine an existence other than the one I was living. I lived a highly abnormal and, in hindsight, irresponsible life. When I was eighteen, my uncle and I disagreed about a growing topic of discussion that was taking England and surrounding countries by storm. While Hiko was adamant about standing to the side and letting the conflict play out by itself, I was quickly becoming embroiled in what would eventually tear the two of us apart. And this conflict…the Napoleonic Wars.

"Hiko was unyielding about keeping a low profile, and staying out of the broiling divergence. The last thing he wanted was become a meaningless tool of the king, and lose the precious freedom that he had sailed with during many of his captaining years, because even though he sailed under the official seal of the king, the king knew relatively little of what we spent most of our time doing. He said that digging deeper and becoming involved would dissolve everything that he had worked for over the years."

Kenshin looked directly at Kaoru, his eyes heavy with murky shadows. He frowned.

"I disagreed. I saw the War from an entirely different standpoint, and it was obvious to me that I was needed. And so I left his ship and went directly to the source of England's offence. It was not hard to convince them that I would be a welcome ally, and I was given my own ship to captain and a crew despite my young age. I'm sure my title worked in my favor as well.

"My cover was that of a privateer, though the true name that I sailed under was not known to the general public. To the ton, I was thought of as the pompous and overconfident Earl of Glairmoor that fancied himself a daring explorer. To the sailing world and to my crew, I was know as the Battousai, a fearless and domineering captain that had captured and taken every ship to cross my path. I was not forgiving. I was an extremely feared force at sea. And when I wasn't commandeering other ships and impressing sailors into the British navy, I working as an assassin and a spy for the King. My uncle not only taught me the art of captaining…he taught me the art of killing. And he did it well."

It was at this point that Kenshin sat heavily onto a chair directly across from Kaoru and averted his gaze to the ground. He leaned his forearms on his thighs and clasped his hands together. Kaoru had the sudden urge to reach across the chasm between them and lay a comforting hand on top of his enfolded pair.

"During a particularly bloody invasion of an enemy ship, there was a woman on board traveling with her fiancé, who was the opposing captain. I killed him in a swift blow after boarding his ship. Most of his crew also met the same fate, and save for the woman, there was only a small group of survivors. The woman, later identified as Lady Tomoe Yukishiro, was the daughter of a viscount. She was not sent to the brig, and instead was given lodging in one of the upper rooms. We were far from any port, and there were no plans to make stops because our stockroom was full. The amount of time that she spent on my ship was particularly damning to her reputation, and if she had returned to society unmarried, she would have been a veritable pariah. I was given little choice, so in attempt to repair some of the damage caused, I had us married.

"Tomoe viewed me with an odd, paradoxical mixture hate and affection that became almost necessary for our relationship to remain afloat. Our time was spent in an endless dance of avoidances and meetings, and it was gradual, but I did come to love her during the time that we spent together. There were a few times when I tried to convince her to get off the ship and move into the estate in England that had been a part of my family for generations, but each time she refused with a dutiful glint in her eyes, and remained on board. Her actions at first baffled me, and slowly I became to expect her presence. She became as much a part of the crew as any other person on the ship. Things were almost…normal.

"Everything changed for me, though, on a day we sought to take over a ship captained by a man we had been chasing for months. The ship warfare soon turned to hand-to-hand combat. We boarded each other's ships and slashed through our foe's lines. I turned my head during a crucial part and found the enemy captain standing near me, a knowing smirk on his features. I raised the gun, and…

"And then Tomoe was there, facing me amidst the madness, her body caught in the revolving battle that she never should have had to experience. Our eyes locked. Time had seemed to slow down, and yet still there wasn't enough of it for me to drop the gun and save her. I had already pulled the trigger. And I remember watching, completely numb, as the life drained from her eyes, slowly leaving her body a lifeless shell."

Kaoru was blinded with the mental image of the scene Kenshin described, and she had to close her eyes against the bitter tragedy of it. Kenshin was aware of her reaction, and his following words were tainted with heavy remorse.

"I still fought in the war after that point, but it was a deeper understanding that I partook in it. In 1814, the war came to a gradual halt, and the practice of privateers on the sea became outlawed. It was of no consequence to me. Somehow a reporter learned of a few facts about Tomoe's death and wrote of it in a newspaper, bringing all of the ton to their feet in outright astonishment.

"Most importantly, though, Tomoe's death made me realize that the deeds I committed were of the blackest caliber, despite the mighty intentions I meant them for. My dedication for what was right, for what I believed would help, left a dark mark on my soul - a horribly permanent one that will never be able to be removed.

"I did this to myself. I became a monster to stop a monster, and there are days when I question my true effectiveness, where I wonder if my actions helped to quell the raging disaster that loomed in our midst.

"_She_ helped me to realize the depth of my sins, and the irreparable damage I had done not only to others, but to myself as well. And it is because of her that in the 1814, I swore never to captain a ship for England under royal bequest ever again. I would never be a captain of the royal navy or a privateer, otherwise thought of as pirates who served the king. From then on, I would only be passenger or a captain bound to only my will, without any notions of wreaking the havoc I caused for so many years.

"I will always simply be a sailor. _Just_ a sailor. It is all I can allow myself to be."

Silence.

"I wandered for years trying to put a semblance of rational sanity into my life. I traveled to destitute countries hoping maybe to lend a hand to those desperately needing aid. I went to India, Africa, and the Orient. I simply traveled to travel. Sometimes to escape, sometimes to enter a world that had never shivered at the mere mention of the name 'Battousai'.

"I didn't return to my roots, because I felt I didn't deserve to. My title lifts me above the law, makes me practically immune to the poking and prodding of law officials. My…reputation…also keeps them away. I have only been back in England for about nine months now. It had finally seemed that it was the time to return and try to face some of the problems that had grown only more complicated over the years…like my ignored responsibly toward the earldom. But, weeks after my return I quite unexpectedly ran into my former first-mate, Sanosuke Sagara. Together, the two of us met up and agreed to help our mutual friend Lord Shinomori, Aoshi, in keeping the shipping business his father had loaded with debt afloat. And it was here, in this countryside, that I met you."

Kaoru stood up from her sitting position and moved over to Kenshin, her steps confident and her eyes wide with swimming perceptiveness. She laid a hand on his shoulder and was surprised to find his skin cool beneath his shirt. He lifted his head. His eyes were so clouded with tiredness and capitulation that Kaoru felt her heart drop painfully.

Kenshin reached up with the arm opposite her touch and placed his hand atop her own on his shoulder. He slowly brought her hand down, and then couldn't find the needed strength to release it. His pointer finger traced the snaking lifeline on her palm and stopped at her wrist.

When he spoke up again, Kaoru's heart clenched.

"I am not worthy of your affections. I am not someone you should even wish to care for. And I don't blame you if you are…disgusted by what all I have informed you of today. I am truly sorry for making you believe in something that I never should have allowed to exist. It honestly took me a while to recognize myself what had happened between the two of us, and by then it was already to late," he said solemnly. "I am completely at fault here."

It was a heavy silence that descended as Kaoru searched for the correct words. He seemed so weary, so downtrodden with the reality of the life he had made. He may have thought that during his haunting revelations, she would suddenly see a fanged monster with glowing eyes instead of the remorseful, kind red-haired man she had come to know. Understanding the reason behind the black cloud he surrounded himself helped her realize that Kenshin needed more than a reassuring pat on the shoulder and a single, hesitant smile of support. His wounds were so psychologically deep that they might never be able to be touched at all.

"I-I…you are still the same," she whispered. Catching his haunted stare, she emphasized, "You are you. This…what you've told me… Your past made you into the man you are today - the man I have spent countless hours with these past weeks. While I definitely don't…I don't condone your actions, you do _not_ disgust me."

He appeared to be struggling with himself inwardly, seemingly trying to determine the depth of truth in her words.

"I'm glad I know of your past," Kaoru rushed on.

"Kaoru, I -"

"There is no one more honorable or loyal than you."

"I can't take you down my path of unworthiness. It isn't an option. I won't subject you to such a thing."

"Did it ever occur to you to _ask_ me what I am willing and unwilling to do, of how far I am prepared to follow you…of how much your very presence means to me?"

"I can't let you do it. I just can't."

"It wouldn't hurt to open up and let someone help support you as you shoulder your great burden. Kenshin - _please_. Give me the chance to show you a different life. Of partnership. Of a lasting friendship. You may not think that you are deserving of such a thing, but I sincerely think you are."

"We are so different in what we think is right. You are too young to be drawn into the sinister chaos that is my life. I won't taint your innocence - the very beauty of your life that makes you so special." He seemed so confused then, his face falling as if struck by a passing thought that nearly felt like a physical blow. "Why aren't you running from me? What have I done to gain such loyalty, Kaoru?"

"How do you feel about me?" she burst out, brushing past his question.

"I can't answer that," he whispered.

"If you are so scared of 'tainting' me, why did you keep coming back? Why continue to search me out?"

He was silent for so long, Kaoru wasn't sure he was going to answer her. "I felt almost normal in your presence. You have an uncanny ability of helping to wash away my black thoughts when I'm with you. No one, in these past seven years, has been able to do that."

It was an inward struggle for Kaoru as she contemplated what to do. Though he verbally expressed the deepest distress at having her get to close to him, there was a haunted haze to his eyes that spoke of a raging vulnerability, which screamed for comfort of some kind - for a reprieve from the shadowed obscurity of his mind. It was then that she realized what needed to be done. What had to be done. It wasn't the easiest path, or the most straightforward, but it was tentative and it was gradual. And just maybe, it would help Kenshin tackle the encompassing fear, in which he believed he would somehow infect her with his demons.

"I'm only going to tell you this once, because I don't think I'll be able to repeat it. This…is hard for me. I've never done this before, so please bear with me.

"I've fallen in love you. I don't know when, or how, or even why. It just happened." Kenshin's eyes widened. "I don't feel such emotions lightly like many of women my age as they go from man to man spreading their affection, and when I say this out loud, I am perfectly and utterly serious. I'll never feel like this about anyone else in my life. I'm not saying there isn't the possibility I might come to love another, but Kenshin…you'll always be present in my heart no matter where you are. Nothing can erase these feelings that have rooted in my heart - not even you with your protestations.

"I'm possessive, I get aggressively angry when provoked, and I'm somewhat childish sometimes, but I'm not fickle, or ignorant, or weak. I'm not going to force myself on you when you're obviously at such odds with yourself. While you think you are unworthy of even being with me, I disagree. But, since I'm not ever going to be able to change your mind for you, I'll just have to wait for you to do it yourself."

"No, Kaoru, you shouldn't - "

"Give me a moment," she snapped, "and then you'll be able to try and convince me I'm holding out hope for the impossible. I'm just as stubborn as you, you dunce, and if I'm astute enough to realize you can't be browbeaten, then I hope you can see the same goes for me as well."

"Kaoru…"

"I'm giving you time," she interrupted with a steady glare. "Time for you think about how you want the rest of you life to be lived. I'm giving you time to keep doing what you've been doing during these past years, but instead of being on your own, always remember I'm here. I'll always be here. The knowledge that you're alone in the world is suffocating, I can identify with that from experience. I want you to know despite everything, you don't have to live alone if you can find the courage within yourself to accept me."

"It isn't that simple."

"But, it is. If only you could see it."

He wanted to believe her, and drown himself in the open innocence of her gaze. She exuded a truthfulness that he wanted to wrap himself in, in hopes of softening the sorrow that dwelled within him. Kenshin had to avert his eyes from hers as he swallowed heavily. Everything about Kaoru baffled him, intrigued him, caused him yearn for something that he made himself believe he could never have. It was agonizing being with her. But, he thought as he closed eyes, it was also heaven in her presence.

A loud knock on the closed door immediately caught his attention. It opened without a verbal reply, and Sanosuke stepped through the crack.

"You're needed," he told him, his eyes hard with an unreadable emotion. Kenshin nodded in response. Sanosuke left following the affirmative gesture.

Kaoru watched as Kenshin began to gather his thoughts, and slip a veil of detachment on his features. He was slowly beginning to shut her out.

Sighing heavily, Kaoru stepped back, and let her hand fall from his loose grip. Kenshin regarded her with an expression of somber surrender. He needed his space. Even if her mind screamed at her to never leave his side, rationality replaced her desires, and she could only bow her head slightly in temporary capitulation.

"Remember this, Kenshin," she said as she walked to the door, stopped slowly and then turned to face him once more. "It's not easy to get rid of me."

And then she disappeared through the doorway.

* * *

When Kaoru returned to Stirling Hall that evening, she was quiet with introspection, her body numb and her mind overloaded with the unpredicted information. Later that night, she pulled Misao aside and told her of everything that Kenshin had explained to her. Misao offered to be a her friend's statue of solace should she need it, but Kaoru found that despite the present numbness that enfolded her, she could feel no pressing melancholy - no need to search for the nearest corner and let sobs rack her body. 

But, that was because there was still something she could hope for.

To live for.

She was extremely grateful that she wasn't a pessimistic person, because this situation could have very well broken her. Kaoru realized that she still had years before her until she would let any semblance of melancholy descend like a wraith upon her. She had been cloaked by sadness for too long to let it take her over once more.

Two days later, she received word that Kenshin and Aoshi had departed to the port city of Dover in Kent. And it was a week following that she left the countryside with her hosts and returned to London to welcome the season of debutants parading around for a coveted husband.

And though Kaoru continued to live her life to the fullest extent, and she settled into a comfortable lifestyle, she waited.


	8. Waiting and Watching

**Author's Note**: (sigh) The last chapter has finally come. I hope everyone enjoys reading as much as I did writing.

Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews and the support. I can never fully express my gratitude to: **Reignashii**, **punKrocKergrl**, **enroute**, **bluerelic**, **Royal blueKitsune**, **sapphireracoongal**, **crazy fanfic lover**, **Childlike Empress**, **MikaylaMae**, **Anonymous but very interested **(thanks so much for _all_ of your reviews), **whoknoez**, **jbox**, **Threedaysunrise**, **fashionista**, **I Heart Edward Cullen**, **skenshingumi**, **Rayvn**, **superlazygirl**, **toxiclollipop**, **JadeLightning-Wolf**, **unknown beedee**, **Super Sheba**, **ixchen**, **Valaroma**, **JMai**, **Jasmine blossom625**, **sulou**, **inuwolf04**, and **ola**.

There's a song that I found randomly one day that matches very well with 'A Soft Hope', this last chapter especially. It's called 'Far Away' by Nickleback. If you're able to listen to it, I recommend it. I'm also putting an entry in my LJ soon (well, _hopefully_ soon...) on what other songs were helpful with writing this since I constantly listen to music as I write. So look for that if you're interested...

Meanings:

Thanks to _I Heart Edward Cullen_, I realized that all my readers might not be as up on Renegnecy terms as I am. Especially with the word 'ton', which I use frequently. The _ton_ meant the upper levels of London society in the Regency period. _Ton_ comes from the French word meaning tone, as used in the phrase _bon ton_ - good manners and fashionable style. (taken from Wikipedia) So when I use it in the story, I'm only referring, in mass, to the upper crust of society. I hope that clears some uncertainties up. Sorry for not putting that up sooner...

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

**A Soft Hope**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

"_Waiting and Watching"_

* * *

**2 years later, 1823**

_London Docks_

The wind was fierce as it swept across the choppy waters of the ocean and slipped over the stern of the mighty merchant ship. The heavy beat of the waves could be heard against the sturdy wood as Kenshin stood on the deck in front of the railing, his arms crossed over his chest. As he gazed out across the open ocean, the crew bustled around behind him hurriedly, unloading the varied cargo from the hold.

Though a few years had passed since he had last sailed into this particular port, the familiarity of it made it seem as if it had been only yesterday when he had last stood on the deck of a ship, overlooking the memorable blue of the London docks. Kenshin was surprised to find that it felt good to admire this particular view once more. It really had been too long.

"Captain? We're almost finished," a young sailor stated behind him.

Kenshin turned slowly and nodded silently to the man to acknowledge him. "Is Mr. Sagara still on board?"

"I'm not sure, sir. I'll find out."

Kenshin watched as the other man hurried off, disappearing amidst the chaotic crowd of his crewmates. The sailor had been correct by saying that almost all of the cargo seemed to have been unloaded. The only pressing matters that seemed to be left were to leave the ship in working order, and for the crew to clear out their own effects.

Glancing up at the sky, Kenshin surmised that their arrival had come at an opportune time. Cloud cover was extremely heavy and rain threatened to fall at any moment. The descending blackness urged the scrambling sailors to work in an accelerated pace. Sighing, Kenshin turned his vision away from the overcast sky just in time to watch as Sanosuke appeared from the right, coming up the stairs leading down to the hold of the ship.

His face was covered with grime, and his brown shirt was drenched with sweat. He wore a red headband around his forehead to keep his wet hair from his face and to stop his perspiration from stinging his eyes. He came to a stop next to Kenshin and leaned heavily back against the railing, sucking in a deep replenishing breath and wiping his forearm across his face.

"I need lie down somewhere," Sanosuke muttered. "I don't think I've ever been more tired in my life."

Kenshin raised an eyebrow, and Sanosuke grinned at his wry expression.

"Okay, well maybe not. But, still…I'm damn tired."

"No one's stopping you from leaving."

"And abandon the clearing of the ship to these amateurs?" He snorted and shook his head with mock disbelief. "I think not, my friend."

"I'm sure Aoshi appreciates your efforts."

"He better," he retorted softly. Glancing over at Kenshin's face, he frowned and furrowed his brow. "Did you need me for something?"

Sighing, Kenshin lifted a shoulder with slight indifference while saying, "I sent a runner to Aoshi's residence to tell him of our arrival. I plan on leaving in a few minutes to go to my townhouse in Mayfair. I need to make sure my uncle hasn't exacted irreparable damage on it."

Sanosuke smirked and lowered his head. "Good luck with that." He was silent for a moment as he mulled over something internally. Lifting his head slowly, he speared Kenshin with a inquiring gaze. "Are you going to Aoshi's party tonight?"

"Is it tonight?" Kenshin murmured, seemingly oblivious to the current date.

"We arrived just in time for the festivities."

"I'm honestly not sure if I'll have the energy or the willpower to attend such a function."

"If you do, give him my regards," Sanosuke replied, pushing himself off the rail and clearing his throat reflexively. "I've got a preordained date with a certain lady doctor."

"She's not going to be happy that you broke your hand while attempting to dissolve a drunken brawl," Kenshin replied, smiling as he watched his friend back away with a sheepish expression in his face.

"Don't remind me. I'm still trying to think up some extravagant excuse…"

"…that she won't believe?"

He sighed. "A man has to try, huh?"

Kenshin hummed softly in accord, watching as Sanosuke turned and raised a hand in farewell. "See you later, Cap," he shouted over his shoulder. He headed directly back to the hold of the ship and disappeared underneath the wooden deck. By then, at least half of the crew had dispersed, and the deck was beginning to become eerily quiet with inactivity.

It was with a weary intake of breath that Kenshin moved from in front of the railing and walked across the deck to the captain's quarters so he could gather together the supplies he wished to take home with him. There were only a few objects that he made to sure to take, and that was only because they were of sentimental value. He fully intended to return later that week to inspect the progress of loading the ship with the next trading run's provisions.

It wasn't hard for him to hail a hired hack to take him clear across London and to the outskirts of the city to where the titled and wealthy dominated. The ride was quiet and uneventful, and all Kenshin was able to do was stare blankly at the passing scenery, and take in the well-known backdrop of the city. It was at least half an hour before they rolled onto the glamorous streets of the upper crust of London, passing the fashionably dressed members of the ton. It was at the height of the afternoon, so the walkways of shops were full of shopping women hoping to purchase their next stunning acquisition. A short while later, the carriage rolled to a stop in front of the designated townhouse. Kenshin stepped down lightly and handed the driver the fare.

He moved slowly up the stairs toward the sturdy green door, his gaze heavy with a sense of slight foreboding. His knock reverberated and the butler was there almost instantaneously. The older servant must have been forewarned of Kenshin's probable arrival, because he remained stoically indifferent as he ushered the true and long absent owner of the abode inside. Kenshin was quick to politely dismiss him, opting to make his way through his own house instead of being led around like a mere visitor.

Quietly, he made his way down the hall, his footsteps hushed by the valuable Persian carpet. Kenshin intended to head straight upstairs to his bedroom, but as he passed the open doorway of the parlor, he heard a distinctive rumble of amusement that he knew could only come from his uncle. Half of him was urged to continue forward, while the other more curious and polite side held him in place and pushed forward the impulse to enter the room. He halted with indecision and finally sighed as he moved toward the doorway. But as he entered the room a few seconds later, he almost regretted the action immediately.

Hiko sat in a chair by the cold hearth with a newspaper in his hands that he read by the light of the nearby window. His lips were quirked with a smile Kenshin remembered seeing only rarely, and he wasn't surprised to find his own eyebrows rise in question at the atypical expression.

Kenshin had only taken a few steps into the room when his uncle looked up, watching him with keen eyes. His lips were still curved in a half smirk, but his eyes narrowed and he cocked his head to the side.

"I was wondering if you'd come in to see me, or scurry upstairs."

Kenshin frowned as he moved to sit in a chair adjacent to his uncle. "Well, here I am," he mumbled crossly.

"Yes…"

"It's good to see you, again," Kenshin returned gruffly after a moment of silence.

"I should hope so. One should have respect for the man who raised him."

Kenshin's only response was to stare moodily at his uncle, his mouth straightened in an uncharacteristically sardonic line. He watched as Hiko folded his newspaper and set it aside. Clasping his hands in his lap, he leaned back in the chair comfortably and quirked a brow.

"Are you setting off again soon?" Hiko asked bluntly, spearing Kenshin with a knowing glare.

"Yes."

"I see. I had actually hoped you'd stay a while."

"I promised Aoshi I'd captain one more trade run. And, then…I'll return to stay for a while."

Hiko grunted in acknowledgement and muttered something under his breath that Kenshin didn't quite catch. It was very likely uncomplimentary.

Any comment Kenshin had wished to retort with in response to Hiko's blatant rudeness was interrupted as the butler rolled in a refreshment tray with tea and biscuits.

"Ah, just in time, Charles. I was beginning to become famished," Hiko burst out with unveiled pleasure as he eyed the steaming beverage and accompanying food. "Kenshin eat. You could use some help in fattening up. You're tiny the way it is."

The last thing Kenshin wished to do was to imbibe on food that would invariably keep him in the presence of his overbearing relative any longer than was necessary, but he couldn't find within himself the rudeness to decline, so instead of biting out a negative response, Kenshin wordlessly filled a proffered teacup with tea and took a tentative sip while keeping his eyes on his uncle.

Kenshin found that they fell into the recognizable silence that had always followed them throughout the years, beginning at the time they had first met each other when he had been eight. A time had come during their relationship when words weren't really necessary and sometimes an utter bore, so the two men usually lapsed into a wordless exchange that itself spoke volumes. Some things, Kenshin was not surprised to find, never changed. And it was refreshing to know that.

Kenshin averted his gaze for a moment from the silent frame of his former guardian and caught sight of a set of objects that slightly baffled him.

A pair of white, lace gloves sat in the middle of the table next to Hiko's chair, and they looked so out of place in the masculine room that it was almost laughable.

And it was out of a strange, overwhelming need to ruffle his uncle's feathers that Kenshin uttered with perverse curiosity, "Those belong to a lady friend of yours?"

"Their owner is a Miss Kaoru Kamiya," Hiko replied as he jammed half a biscuit into his mouth.

Kenshin choked on his tea and clattered the delicate china loudly as he fumbled to put it safety down. "_What_?" he burst out with obvious shock.

"You heard me, boy. Don't sit there sputtering like a halfwit. She left them during her last visit nearly a week ago. I've been meaning to have one of the staff take them to her, but I never seem to remember."

"What do you mean her _last _visit?"

"Does it gall you that a young woman likes to come and see a elder, accomplished man such as myself?"

"_Uncle_," Kenshin practically growled, his hands clenching the arms of the chair tightly.

Hiko raised a questioning brow and watched Kenshin's face with amusement. "I was wondering if you'd recognize her name."

"Why wouldn't I? What kind of statement is that?"

He shrugged. "She claimed to be an acquaintance of yours. I can see now that she wasn't lying."

"How long?"

"How long what?"

Kenshin gritted his teeth. "How long has she been coming to see you?"

"About 10 months. She comes almost every other week. Brings a nice bottle of whiskey with her as well. Smart girl."

"Why?" Kenshin asked, slumping slightly against the back of the chair.

"Because of you, of course."

Kenshin's gaze snapped up and he glared at his uncle. "She said as much?"

"Now I always knew you were stupid, but this cuts the cake, nephew. Have you swallowed too much saltwater recently?"

"I never imagined she'd - "

"She is quite tenacious. Took me a while to get used to her. Barged right in here so often it was hard to keep her away, though," Hiko set down his teacup and grabbed a cloth napkin to wipe his hands. "I did have a good time telling her about you, though. She was extremely attentive when your childhood was the topic of conversation."

Kenshin was honestly afraid to ask what horrors of his boyhood treks at sea his uncle had divulged to the young woman. Hiko needed no encouragement, though, for he hurried on.

"She was very amused about that incident where you got that jellyfish stuck in your trousers and couldn't sit for a week."

An unbidden wave of red flushed Kenshin's neck.

"Oh, and that time when you were so burnt by the sun you looked like a lobster," Hiko said with a chuckle. Watching Kenshin's face, he paused for a moment. He seemed to be suddenly caught by a passing thought for his amusement gradually decreased and his eyes cleared with perceptiveness. He pursed his lips for a moment and speared Kenshin with an intuitive glare. "Did you know she's received five proposals of marriage this past year? She's refused them all, silly chit."

Kenshin suddenly felt as if he couldn't breath. He dropped his gaze from his uncle's and let his hands slip from the armrests of the chair. These past two years he had almost convinced himself that despite Kaoru's apparent unwavering determination and loyalty toward him, he had read more into her actions than he should have. It was honestly too much to hope for that he had found someone who could look behind the faults of his past and welcome the persona he attained in the years following his sins. Kenshin had never met a woman so baffling, so utterly sure of what she wanted, and so completely steadfast in her resolution.

Kenshin felt the sudden need to be alone. These weren't thoughts he wanted to mull over in his mind while in the imperious presence of the man who had raised him.

"I told her you would be returning to London shortly during her last visit. The next day she quite surprised me by showing up again with a package firmly gripped in her hands. She wanted me to give it to you when you came home."

Kenshin stood up immediately, his pulse quickening. "Where is it?"

Ignoring the question, Hiko said, "It's obviously a painting of some sort. I don't know why she diddles away her time doing such a useless hobby. Other women of the ton are scandalized that she lives alone in her townhouse with only a staff of servants with her. And the fact that she paints is another black mark against her. Of course the silly woman is completely unaffected by it all," he muttered, sighing and halting in his tirade. Hiko stared at Kenshin, watching as the younger man matched his stare unwaveringly, his attention only directed to one thing. "I had the upstairs maid place it in your bedroom."

Kenshin quickly turned on his heel and strode out of the room, leaving his uncle to his machinations. It didn't take him long to make his way to his second-story bedroom, and push open the door hurriedly, almost forgetting to shut and lock it behind him. The package was standing upright near the hearth, covering with brown paper and tied with twine. Hiko had been correct in assuming that it was a painting. The large rectangular shape could hardly be proven to be anything else.

The fire that had powered his hurried movements up the stairs had gradually dampened and it was almost with hesitant steps that Kenshin walked over to the covered painting, afraid to unveil the image beneath.

He reached out a hand and ran his fingers across the top. Care had been taken in wrapping this piece of art, and intuitively Kenshin knew that beneath the paper would be an image that would take his breath away. She wouldn't have given it to him if it were a mediocre attempt at the wondrous.

There wasn't a day that went by where he didn't think of Kaoru…of her smile, of her voice, of the feel of her presence next to him. She was inescapable with her singular persona and her quiet beauty. When he closed his eyes, she was there. When he stared out across the horizon of the ocean, he saw the swimming depths of her eyes. When he looked up at the stars, he could feel her hand cradled within his. If he was claimed at night by the raging fury of his nightmares and awoke drenched with a pressing sweat, he only had to think of her, and some of the pressure decreased, and the pounding of his heart lessened.

Any thoughts of believing his feelings for her were a fleeting fancy had been washed away long ago. It wasn't hard to realize how much a part of his subconscious Kaoru had taken over. And instead of passing time dampening the sensations swirling within him, the encompassing emotions only seemed to intensify with every day, every minute…every second.

She had completely captured him without even meaning to. He should have realized she'd ruin him for everyone and everything after being in her captivating presence for those first few whirlwind minutes when she had almost barreled over him with her horse. Kaoru had quite literally turned his life upside down.

It was with a heavy sigh that Kenshin slipped his fingers underneath the confining twine and slid them down to untie the knot. Next came the concealing brown paper, which he made sure to remove with the utmost care. Once the paper had been taken away, Kenshin tossed it to the side and stepped back to get a more comprehensive look at Kaoru's work.

He had been right. It did take his breath away. But, he was so surprised by the subject that he found he had to suddenly sit down. Eyes wide, they traveled over every stroke, every slip of color brushed onto the canvas. He was completely mesmerized by the artwork before him. The most starling aspect, though, was the fact that _he_ was the subject.

Kaoru had painted him standing on the shore of a beach, his body facing the rolling tide of the sea, the wind pulling at the strands of his swept back crimson hair. There was a poignant calmness to his features that spoke of survival of a deep tribulation, and his stance was one of uncertain finality. Kaoru had captured everything about the sea he loved - the depth, the colors, the mysteriousness. She had pulled out the most obvious and subtle elements and painted them together to form the fullest and quite honestly the most captivating piece of art he had ever laid eyes on.

He stared at himself, depicted before the waters that had been his entire life, and remembered the words she had spoken to him that night as they sat under the stars before the ocean water.

_"I don't think I'll ever paint another portrait again. I'm not sure if I have the courage to place so much emotion into another piece of art once more. It's just too utterly painful."_

A note had floated down, apparently having been placed inside the wrapping of the painting. Kenshin leaned down, and grabbed it while remaining seated. Gripping it tightly in his hand, his eyes scanned Kaoru's familiar penmanship.

_Kenshin, _

_I've titled it Poignant Waves. If you can find the time, I'd love to know what you think of it._

_Simply Yours,_

_Kaoru_

He read it a second time, and then glanced up at the painting again, his heart heavy with an extensive range of tangled emotions. He was motionless for a moment before he closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands.

* * *

"Kaoru! Kaoru! Oh, you have to help me with this. I don't know what I'm doing. I think I'm going mad."

The loud commotion drew Kaoru's attention from her current task, causing her to look up from the arrangement of flowers she had been helping put together with one of the housemaids. As she stared at the anxiety pinched face of her best friend, Kaoru bit her lip to keep from smiling.

"Oh, don't be such a ninny," Kaoru admonished fondly, straightening from her stooped position and pushing an errant strand of dark hair from her eyes. "Calm down and think rationally."

Misao frowned immediately. She quirked a sardonic eyebrow and planted her hands firmly on her hips as she watched Kaoru slowly place a white rose into the decorative vase. "I _will_ walk over there and dump those flowers onto the floor if you do not come with me now. I'm at my wit's end. Sophie is driving me nuts."

The fretful glint in Misao's eyes affirmed her sudden proclamation of destruction and Kaoru held back a sigh. She offered a calming smile to the maid next to her and handed her the last white rose to be added. "The flower arrangement is now left up to you, Kate. I'm sorry to leave you in the middle of a job, but there are obviously problems that I have to attend to."

"I'm quite alright, Miss Kamiya. Thank you kindly for your help."

With a parting nod of her head, Kaoru stepped around the table and walked unhurriedly across the room to stand next to her frazzled friend.

"Get rid of Sophie for me," Misao burst out, her eyes pleading as she clenched her hands tightly at her sides.

"What has the poor maid done to offend you?"

Misao arched a brow defiantly. "Poor maid? I can't think with her trying to tell me what to wear, how to style my hair, or how to act. Apparently I slouch, too. Did you know that, Kaoru? I'm a sloucher!"

"Oh, for goodness sake," Kaoru muttered, grabbing a hold of Misao's arm and dragging her away from the room and down the hall. "Shouldn't you be on cloud nine right now? Unflappable because you're so blissfully happy?"

"I would be if Sophie would stop breathing down my neck," Misao replied almost hysterically. "She's like a bloody dragon, snorting fire from her nostrils."

Kaoru stopped in the middle of the hallway and placed both hands on Misao's upper arms. Shaking her slightly, she admonished, "It's the night of your engagement party. Smile and stop acting like a madwoman. Where has my sensible best friend gone?"

"She's been killed by the dragon," Misao replied breathily.

Rolling her eyes heavenward, Kaoru pushed Misao back toward a chair resting against the wall adjacent to the door of her bedroom. "Sit. I'll be back in moment."

Misao sat down heavily in the designated chair and remained motionless as Kaoru disappeared into the bedroom. It was only a minute later that the door opened and Sophie hurried out, an expression of pure pity on her face as she glanced at Misao before walking down the hall. Kaoru stepped out right after the maid, and peered down at her friend with a prideful half-smirk on her lips.

At that point, Misao could have cared less what tactics Kaoru had assimilated to get rid of the annoying maid, but whatever she had done, the offending woman was gone. Blissfully gone. And quite suddenly, Misao felt her anxiety dissolve and all she was left with an unusual anticipation that twisted knots in her stomach.

Standing, she followed her friend into her room and walked over to the place where three chosen gown laid spread out on the bed so that she might be able to study them better.

"What color do you think he'd like the best?" Kaoru asked, patiently waiting next to the door as she slowly closed it behind her. Misao studied her gowns quizzically, her brow pinched with thought.

Stepping over to one in particular and running the tips of her fingers against the silky material, Misao replied softly, "The jade one." Lifting her gaze to Kaoru, Misao sighed with obvious relief. "I'll wear the jade one."

Kaoru smiled in response and moved across the room to help Misao get ready for her night.

By the time night rolled around, Misao had completely taken a hold of her raging emotions and contained them with a remarkable zeal. There was such an amazing difference between the calm and content woman who welcomed the night and the aggressive, haggard one that ruled the afternoon, and Kaoru couldn't help but be amused by her friend's radical behavior. It was directly after the fall of darkness that the women left Misao's residence and headed to that of her fiancé's, the host of the happy gathering.

Once in attendance, Kaoru stayed by Misao's side until it she felt that her presence wasn't necessary. Kaoru was content to stand back and watch her friend revel in the happiness, which enfolded her mind and body, giving her a distinct and beautiful glow. Her contentment shone in her eyes and her smile was wonderfully bright. Though Misao's fiancé was not as outwardly exhilarated by the evening, there was a particular protectiveness about Aoshi that could never be claimed as indifference. If Kaoru wasn't mistaken, the silent man felt every bit as deeply for Misao as she felt for him.

Throughout the night, Kaoru tried to keep her dance card moderately full, because even though she truly did want to dance during the full evening, it was most definitely not the pastime she wished to spend the entire night performing.

Time passed quickly during the busy occasion and it was two hours later when the activities of the night had taken their tiring toll on Kaoru, her feet had plagued with discomfort. Taking a break from the dance floor, she began to weave her way through the crowd of partygoers to the refreshment table where lemonade was the offered beverage. Kaoru took a full glass from the woman pouring and thanked her graciously.

Glancing at the door as she raised the glass of lemonade to her lips, Kaoru immediately froze when a flash of red caught the corner of her eye. These feelings of anxious hopefulness had coursed through her quite a few times over the past two years. Her heart would catch and she'd hold her breath out of the slim hope that it was _him_. All those instances had been predictable disappointments and as Kaoru turned her gaze with veiled trepidation, it was almost certain that this time it would not be her redhead as usual.

When Kaoru's gaze finally found the root of her internal dilemma, her lips parted with unbelieving astonishment, and she uttered a soft sound of disbelief. She had been fully aware he would be returning to London soon, but she had never let herself entertain the thought that she might actually see him. Oh, she had fervently hoped, but she never dared to actually believe.

Deep sensations of longing hit her with a whirlwind of affection. Everything she had ever felt for him was intensified at that moment, making her realize that despite their time apart, her feelings had never waned, and had in fact grown in potency. Kaoru swallowed with difficulty.

She found it hard to think as she stared at him, lost in the familiarity of his features, his appearance and his movements. He was tanner than when she had seen him before, blatantly showing how much time he spent on the deck of the ship he captained. He took the same care he had always taken with dressing, which was very little. Oh, his clothes were nice and well kept, but his hair was slightly tangled and quite easily showed Kenshin's attitude of indifference toward it. There was something about his posture, though, that had changed. She couldn't quite put her finger on it as she tried to discern if it was related to a prevailing emotion locked within him.

He seemed to be searching through the mass of people for something, his eyes narrow and intuitive as they slid over the crowded surroundings. It wasn't until he abruptly stilled when he caught sight of her that Kaoru dumbly realized he had been looking for her. _Her._

When their eyes locked, she felt a jolt of awareness travel down her spine. Every noise and every nuance slowly began to fade away, leaving only a mass circling colors to surround her as she studied him unabashedly. As she stared at him, time seemed to slow into a gradual crawl, and she was lost in his gaze.

And then he moved as if to come towards her, but was stopped abruptly when Aoshi appeared at his side and tore his attention away from her. Kaoru expelled her breath disappointingly, and belatedly realized she hadn't known she had been holding it. Lowering her gaze, Kaoru worried her bottom lip with her teeth.

"I believe I have the next dance, Miss Kamiya," a deep baritone voice said from in front of her. Kaoru lifted her head quickly and let out a small gasp of surprise. "Oh, Lord Derriby." The young man was correct of course. On this particular slot of her dancing card, his name had been scrawled quite neatly. "Of course," Kaoru replied, unable to refuse. She held out her hand and watched as he took it to lead her to the dance floor.

She lost sight of Kenshin after that as she twirled mindlessly on the ballroom floor. Throughout the dance, she continued to look over her partner's shoulder, hoping to catch one more fleeting glimpse him, but it was almost as if he had disappeared.

When the dance ended, she retired to the sidelines of the ballroom against the wall next to the chaperones of the young debutantes. Kaoru quickly tuned out their nonsensical gossip and narrowed her gaze, half afraid that Kenshin had left the party after his initial greeting with Aoshi. Was there really anything else keeping him there? Oh, she sincerely hoped so…

At the slight tugging of her skirts, Kaoru looked down with wide eyes, now tinted with a soft light of puzzlement. A young boy who looked to be about five years old stood next to her with an adorably curious expression on his innocent features. A natural smile curved Kaoru's lips as she knelt down to peer into his inquiring green gaze more easily.

"Can I help you, young sir?" she questioned politely.

Wordlessly, he reached inside his trouser pocket and pulled out a small, folded piece of paper. Interest automatically piqued, Kaoru took the offered note gently from the small boy's outstretched fingers and lifted her brows.

"For me?" she asked softly.

He responded with an enthusiastic nod.

"Thank you," Kaoru murmured while unfolding the paper and smoothing the small creases so the scrawled writing could be read with ease.

_Meet me on the terrace in 5 minutes._

_K._

Her heart did an automatic flip as a flurry of butterflies burst with uncertain restlessness in her stomach. She would have known that handwriting anywhere. Refolding the paper, Kaoru quickly looked at the little boy once more. Having made sure that she read the note, he shuffled his feet, nodded in farewell, and moved away from her toward the crowd. Kaoru stood slowly while clutching the note tightly in her hand.

Gaze scanning the ballroom, she was still unable to locate his familiar form. Kaoru hesitated for a moment before deciding that the most convenient plan of action would be to make her way to the terrace now. It hardly made any sense for her to meander around the outskirts of the dance floor. Besides, the possibility of being caught by some unforeseen matter or person was too great, and at the moment, she was quite viciously clutched with the need to breathe in fresh air.

The terrace, unfortunately, was on the opposite side of the ballroom so it took some meticulous maneuvering to pass unchecked though the merry flood of people. A few polite nods and terse greetings were all she could muster and it was with a deep sigh of the utmost relief that she arrived at one of the numerous open doorways leading to the relative solitude of the terrace. The moment Kaoru stepped out of the ballroom and into the hushed darkness of the night, a cool and refreshing breeze covered her.

Kaoru let her eyes scan the long, open space, noticing immediately that two couples were also in attendance, spaced appropriately apart on the south side. Walking over to the edge, Kaoru placed her hand on the polished marble railing, running it along the smooth length as she slowly made her way to the north corner. She glanced momentarily at the trimmed and manicured garden before turning around and facing the open doorway closest to her.

Light streamed from inside the well-lit ballroom, creating a halo of warmth to her right. The illumination bathed her form with pale shadows that flickered gently over her skin. Music carried through the opening and filled the moist air with melodious composure. Flashes of color from other ladies' dresses could be seen as they paraded by on the arms of their suitors, waltzing about with uncontained enthusiasm.

Kaoru blinked suddenly as a form filled the light ridden doorway, becoming silhouetted before features became clear with a startling clarity as the man moved farther out into the night and away from the glow's bright cleansing. Kaoru tilted her head to the side as she watched Kenshin near her, his eyes catching hers and holding her gaze with a determination that staggered her.

She remembered clearly the time when he had surprised her on the balcony at the country ball that they had both attended a little over two years ago, and then proceeded to dance with her while cloaked by the night. It was easy to recall the emotions that had crossed her mind during that time - the anxiousness, the uncertainly, the beginnings of a deeper sensation that began as an ache in her heart and spread slowly throughout her body. Those jumbled feelings had been novel at the time, almost startling with their untested and mystifying implications. Kaoru hadn't known what to think, or how to react, so she pushed them aside only to realize their true meaning at a later date.

Now as she stared at him, the smooth vacillations of light slipping over his shaded features, Kaoru felt comfortable and assured as she felt her love for him well inside her heart and spread like wildfire within her. She had to suppress the urge to reach out and slip her hands through his overlong red bangs and brush her fingers over the tanned skin of his face. Kaoru kept her arms straight next to her sides, hiding her hands in the voluminous folds of her maroon ball gown.

As she studied him, she noticed his eyes traveled over her form much in the same way hers had him, and an involuntary shiver of delight raised goosebumps on her exposed skin. His lips parted and then he spoke. It felt wonderful to hear his voice again.

"I got your painting," he told her softly.

A look of pure pleasure covered her face and an expectant, yet demurely tentative smile touched her lips. "What do you think of it?"

"It is nothing like I have ever laid eyes on." Kaoru watched as he paused, frowning at her with a mixture of wonder and puzzlement in his gaze. "I thought you said you would probably never paint another portrait again."

Kaoru cocked her to the side. "I changed my mind."

"But…why me?"

A knowing smile widened on her lips, and she responded clearly, "Because it couldn't have been anyone else."

"What is so special about me?"

"Everything," she murmured, stepping closer to him and unexpectedly reaching out her hand to grasp his forearm. The warmth of her touch seared through his heavy clothing. "There isn't anything that is not different or unique about you. I could only paint the person who meant the most to me in the world, and ever since that summer two years ago, you've completely filled that place in my soul."

That seemed to cover Kenshin with a contemplative shell, for his amethyst gaze darkened and flashed a rich amber light that seared bright spokes in his gaze. His lips were pulled into a meditative line as he stared at her features. He appeared to be lost wholly in his thoughts, and the last thing she wanted was for him to withdraw from her completely.

"Did you know that I cajoled your uncle into taking me down to the docks and giving me a tour of one of the ships?"

He blinked at her for a moment before uttering a soft, but deadly, "What?" He covered the hand she had wrapped around his forearm, his fingers grasping hers tightly. "Did anything happen?" he asked, obviously fearful something dangerous had befallen her under his uncle's care.

"No," Kaoru replied with a quick quirk of the lips. "But, really. Who in their right mind would attack someone as large and intimidating as Hiko? The trip was very insightful, though. He even offered to let me climb the rigging a little bit…" Kenshin's eyes narrowed warningly and Kaoru felt a shiver of delight slide down her spine. "…but I declined. The last thing I wanted was a hoard of men staring up my skirts."

The oddest expression covered his face, and made him appear as if he had swallowed something foul. Maybe his sudden discomfort stemmed from the desire to physically hurt his uncle?

"You should take me on your boat."

"Ship," he corrected automatically.

Kaoru smiled slowly. "Ship," she murmured. "I've never been sailing before."

"Are you sure you'd want me there?"

"Unconditionally sure."

He leaned his head back slowly, a look of severe internal reflection marring his face. He reached out sightlessly, grasped her upper arms and pulled her toward him to where she stood inches from him. He lowered his head slowly, opening his eyes and pinning her with the most agonizingly serious stare. Something about his expression made her swallow as her heart pounded with expectation and curiosity. He kept lowering his head until his forehead came to rest on top of hers, his eyes still trained intimately with her own.

"Kenshin, what are you doing here?"

He was silent for a full, tense minute. "I realized today that I need a place of belonging."

It was with bated breath that she uttered,"And where is that?"

"With you," he answered simply. Kenshin paused, noticeably uncertain as to how she would respond. "That is, if you wish it. I know it's been two years."

"I said I would wait, didn't I? Are you trying to call me fickle?"

The first hint of amusement touched his lips and Kaoru could discern a sprouting of hope within his staid gaze.

"I could never call you fickle," he responded heavily, reaching up a hand to slide along her cheek. "I'm not sure how good I'm going to be at this," Kenshin continued roughly.

Kaoru leaned against his steady frame. "Trust me." She could see in his eyes that he did.

"Thank you, Kaoru."

"For what?"

"For waking me up and showing me a glimpse of a life beyond the madness."

A sigh of utter gratification shuddered through her slim frame, and Kaoru felt a heavy relief spread wonderfully through her limbs. A shining smile slipped slowly over her lips as her arms snaked up his chest and wrapped tightly around his shoulders. Palms pressed against his upper back underneath his neck, Kaoru stopped her lips a mere half an inch from touching his.

"I'll always be here for you. No matter what. Never doubt that, Kenshin."

Kenshin closed that small gap and pressed his lips softly against hers as his hands circled her waist. "I'll never doubt it," he murmured softly before kissing her again with a pressing desire that seared his stomach. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."

Smiling against his lips, Kaoru replied, "Silly man. You think too much. Just kiss me, please."

And he did. With desperation. With longing. With possessiveness. Pulling Kaoru's body to his, Kenshin finally claimed her as his own - emotionally and physically. He felt her shiver against his frame as she welcomed his intensity. Her mouth was liquid flame against his, igniting a blazing passion that had long remained dormant within him. Kaoru molded seamlessly to him, burying herself in the warmth of soul and window of pleasure that he offered.

With difficulty, Kenshin pulled away from her the slightest amount, breathing unsteadily, while letting his gaze peruse hers.

A soft smile pulled at his lips.

In her sapphire eyes, he found acceptance.

It was all he would ever need.

Lowering his head again, he buried his face in the curve of her neck.

"Welcome home," he heard her murmur softly.

And he realized with heavy relief at her words…he really was home.

* * *

Ah-ha! Those of you who speculated that she'd paint him were right...congradulations. (wink) Thanks so much for reading everyone. Hope you enjoyed! 


	9. Epilogue: An Enduring Hope

**Author's Note**: Surprise, surprise. I know I said that the story was completed, but apparently my poor mind thought otherwise. I would like to present everyone with an epilogue, and to also thank the people who left the wonderful reviews that I have received for 'A Soft Hope'.

My deepest thanks to: **ChildlikeEmpress**, **unknown beedee**, **Super Sheba**, **Anonymous but very interested**, **angelwings1**, **Threedaysunrise**, **Lendra-chan**, **Reignashii**, **nebulia**, **ixchen**, **Vic'chonn**, **fashionista**, **physicalmanfestationofevil**, **Youkoforever**, **animeLCgrl**, **Kaotic I. Deas**, **PAISITA**, **JadeLightning-Wolf**, **inuwolf04**, **Ravyn**, **I Heart Edward Cullen**, **MikaylaMae**, **Shinta-Fan**, **Crimson Rayne**, **Valaroma**, **flaming-amber**, **Royal blueKitsune**, **superlazygirl**, **Jasmine blosson625**, **punKrocKergrl**, **xJediJainax**, **blackartemis**, **whoknoez**, **cherrystems**, **YourSecret'sOut**, **sapphireracoongal**, **noneedforprozac27**, **skenshingumi**, **ShadeSpirit**, **en route**, **Serphtears**, **toxiclollipop**, **Draculina17**, **sulou**, **DreamerGirl02**, **Miharu Kawashi**, **kingleby**, **iamthefish**, **Kyrene once Blood Roses**, **peaceful blossom**, **siriuslover**, **Nanakiyoda**, **Animekitty07**, **noname00**, and **Saphyrlle**. (If I misspelled or skipped anyone, tell me, and I'll rectify the problem.)

And this, I promise, is the last addition to 'A Soft Hope'.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

**A Soft Hope**

* * *

**Epilogue**

_An Enduring Hope_

* * *

**3 years later, 1826**

_Glairmoor Estate, in the countryside of Devon_

It was the sound of surprised laughter that roused him from the tired slumber he had fallen into. The grass felt moist beneath his back, and Kenshin belatedly realized that he had rolled off of the protective covering of the quilt. It was with a drawn-out yawn that he stretched his arms above his head tiredly, and blinked his eyes wearily against the bright sunlight.

That disruptive laughter shifted through the air once more, and drew Kenshin's attention toward the heavy tree cover off to his right. With a slight, jarring shake of his head, he pushed himself slowly up off the ground and halfheartedly brushed stray grass blades from his wrinkled clothing. His footsteps were hushed and efficient as he made his way through the moderately tall grass, toward the trees blocking his way. Walking through the thick trail of greenery, it was a few seconds later that he emerged from the concealing plants and into the small clearing split beautifully by a medium sized stream that flowed with a sedate slip of water over stone.

Kenshin came to a gradual halt as he admired the view in front of him, his eyes studying the jovial form of his wife. She stood in the middle of the stream, her bare feet spread over two adjacent stones jutting out of the flowing water. One of her hands held the bottom of her skirts, which allowed her to raise them scandalously, showing off an ample amount of the smooth skin of her calves, while her other hand was held out to the side for balance. Her hair was unbound and free, falling gloriously down her back in a thick wave of black silk.

She was wonderfully distracted by a fast-moving creature in the water that danced with the calm current. Kaoru seemed to be hypnotized by the animal's movements as there was a small splash of water, and then nothing as it disappeared underneath the rippling cover.

Kaoru let out an audible sigh of displeasure. She leaned over slightly, her gaze narrowed as she stared at the glinting water. Nibbling her bottom lip in thought, she cocked her head to the side.

"Having fun?" Kenshin asked softly, catching her off guard.

He watched as Kaoru whipped around to peer at him, her lips curving into a pleasantly bright smile. She turned her stance slightly on the rocks, moving to face him more fully while also trying to keep an eye on the water. Instead of spreading her weight on two of the slick rocks, she moved to stand only on one.

"Finally awake?" Kaoru retorted playfully.

He nodded and walked closer to the bank of the stream as he placed his hands into the pockets of his trousers. Kaoru cast another glance down at the water, and pursed her lips in thought. Lifting her gaze to his again, she shrugged and let her grip slip on her skirts. They fell slowly down to cover her bare legs.

"Do you want to join me out here, or are you afraid of getting a little wet?" she teased, planting her hands on her hips.

Kenshin chuckled as he crossed his arms over his chest, watching as she fidgeted expectantly on the rock. "I don't know if I should. You're a dangerous woman to be around. Especially when near water."

Kaoru's eyes widened and it was hard for her to contain her amused grin. "Fine," she responded, abruptly narrowing her gaze. "I guess I'll just have to drag you out here, then."

Shifting her feet on the rock, she stepped to her left, moving closer to her stationary husband. In the process of moving to another adjacent stepping stone, Kaoru leaned over precariously and involuntarily unbalanced herself. Her eyes widened when she realized what an unstable position she had suddenly placed herself in. Startled, Kenshin watched as she pitched forward, a loud screech of intertwined horror and mirth erupting from her as she descended downward toward the water.

Though he was fast, unfortunately, Kenshin wasn't quite fast enough to catch her, and he winced as Kaoru fell gracelessly into the trickling, knee-deep water of the stream. He was beside her as quickly as possible, however, and it was with steady hands that he gripped her upper arms and helped her floundering form emerge from the water.

Kaoru tried to get to her feet quickly, her hands grasping Kenshin's forearms for support. Her heavy skirts floated atop the water, bunching around her knees and shifting her balance perilously. While maintaining her death grip on his arm, she reached up one hand and wiped her loose, wet hair from her eyes as her lips slanted grimly. Letting out an irritated growl of frustration, Kaoru raised her flashing gaze to his and narrowed her eyes.

"That isn't amusement in your eyes that I detect, is it?" she asked, her voice steely with suspicion.

Kenshin cleared his throat as he blinked at her innocently. "Of course not."

She pursed her lips and let go of his arm. "You are a horrible liar."

"And why do you think I'm lying?" he questioned, watching as she turned away to peer at the line of trees behind them.

She stood still for a moment before slanting her husband a sideways glare, and retorting, "I've seen that look often enough in your eyes to recognize it by now. Don't think you can hide it from me."

A small smile teased his lips. "My deepest apologies." Stepping closer to her, Kenshin bowed his head slightly and laid the palm of his hand against her lower back. "You aren't injured, are you?" he asked, letting his eyes travel over her soaked attire.

Kaoru sighed, shaking her head with the smallest of motions. "No." A visible shiver traveled down her arms, though, and she sighed with obvious displeasure. "But, that water is definitely colder than I originally thought. Dipping a toe in for fun is drastically different than dipping oneself in for lack of grace," she muttered. She stared down at herself for a moment, before peering at him with a small smile of mirth. "I guess you were right to worry about getting wet when around me."

Knee-deep in the stream water, his pants soaked through to the skin, Kenshin only nodded in agreement while cocking his head to the side.

Grinning sheepishly, Kaoru sent him a pained look. "Sorry."

"It could not have been avoided, I'm afraid."

She reached out a hand and smoothed it down the front of his dry shirt. It was out of slight distraction that she began to play with one of the white buttons in the middle. She shivered again involuntarily, not sure if this time it was from the cool moisture cloaking her, or from something entirely different. Kaoru licked her lips.

Without a word, Kenshin leaned down, slipping one arm underneath her knees while wrapping the other around her back. Hefting her light form was easy, though Kaoru immediately squawked in protest as she came to rest firmly against the warmth of his chest. Her arms loosely circled his neck automatically as her eyes narrowed and she pinched her lips with displeasure.

"You don't have to treat me as an invalid, you know. My legs work perfectly fine. A little water is not going to make me faint with shock." Kaoru quirked an eyebrow sardonically while watching as he skillfully ignored her.

Keeping her body firmly tucked against his, Kenshin carefully navigated his way out of the stream, finally gaining solid footing on the leaf-covered ground. Kaoru sighed with capitulation as she stared at the unwavering resolve covering Kenshin's features. It was at times like these, when he closed himself off like a rock, making it quite impossible for her to sway him, that Kaoru had learned to just follow his lead. Over the past few years, she had found that more often than not, she ended up arguing with herself instead of him, which in turn wore her out mentally and physically. In truth, she'd much rather save up her energy for another time…mostly to retaliate against him for his stubbornness at a later date.

Besides…she'd be lying to herself if she denied that being in his arms was uncomfortable. Who was she to protest against him wanting to hold her? The whole situation really wouldn't have irritated her as much if he weren't acting like such a _man_. So she was a little wet…it was far from the end of the world.

Nibbling her bottom lip in thought, Kaoru reached up a hand to run down the smooth skin of cheek. He slowly slid his gaze down to hers, his amethyst eyes studying her.

"Are you actually going to carry me all the way back to the manor?"

His eyes lightened visibly with warmth. "It isn't that far."

Kaoru snorted. "When you collapse from the strain of walking so far, I will not feel sorry."

"You aren't _that _heavy."

Kaoru's eyes narrowed to slits. "I wasn't referring to my weight," she muttered. "I only meant that the distance is great. Carrying anything for that amount of time will be tiring."

"Have faith in me," he murmured, his gaze carefully catching hers.

Kaoru sighed. "I do."

* * *

Several hours later, Kenshin strode down the long hallway on the second floor of his country manor, his pace restrained. Having just finished his remaining paperwork in his study, he was now in search of his wife. After returning home from their morning jaunt, she had returned to their bedroom to take a bath and clean up. She hadn't informed him where she planned to spend the late hours of the afternoon, but Kenshin had a fairly good idea of her whereabouts. 

As he drew closer to his destination, Kenshin's pace slowed and he lowered his head the smallest amount in thought.

Everyday with Kaoru brought a refreshing of the mind, a rejuvenation of the spirit. With her, haunting times of the past could be pushed back to the recesses of his mind, not quite buried, but not as painfully invasive as they once had been. There was something about Kaoru that brought about an inner peace within him, placing his once wildly revolving world back on its axis, away from the chaotic madness that had been so previously enveloping.

Sometimes he wondered if his new life was merely a fleeting distraction from the horror he had reigned upon himself and so many other souls. But when he caught a glimpse of her smile, when he heard the soft huskiness of her laughter, when he was so fully wrapped around her body and it was hard discern where hers began and his ended, he felt complete…he felt a cleansing of himself that was beyond bodily restrictions.

Kaoru had managed to touch his mind, and wrap her innocence around his spirit, leaving noticeable imprints on his inner most self. After all those years of trying to atone for the horrendous deeds he had committed, he finally found absolution in a small woman whose mere presence knotted his stomach with tangled emotions, and left him feeling bare to the world.

It was painful to even imagine where he would be if he hadn't met her five years ago, when she had literally tumbled into his life. Time had passed so slowly in the two years that he had tried to distance himself from her, and push away the freedom from his self-imposed oppression that she so selflessly offered. Though they had been apart during those two long years, he had still known that she existed, and he had felt the tremors of deep affection that shuddered through his unsteady frame…her mere existence comforted him. To even think of not knowing of her, of not being aware of her presence was unbearable. Without her subtle guidance, he knew that a very lost, disoriented, and agonized man would still roam the seas, clutched with a pressing and all-consuming need to atone for deeds which haunted his entire being.

At first the very thought of relying on someone terrified him. To pass his desperation, his terror, his demons onto an unsuspecting young woman was unacceptable. While trying to protect her in the early stages of their relationship, he had underestimated her ability to understand, to forgive, and to embrace his carefully hidden thoughts of inadequacy with a perceptive patience. He was still haunted by nightmares and shadowy remembrances of his past, but with every passing day, their effect on him decreased the smallest amount, their desperate hold lessening. He would never escape them, he knew, however, his demons had become more bearable over time.

In the beginning, opening up a part of himself to Kaoru, which had been hidden from the world for so long, was a grueling trial.

Kaoru had never wavered, however.

She had never doubted him.

Kaoru had never looked at him with anything other than devotion. And love.

The depth of affections that clouded her sapphire gaze as she looked into his eyes at times humbled him…it made him strive to maintain the presence of one worthy of her steadfast emotions. Her absolute surety in her feelings helped him realize that he made the right choice when he gave into her. He would never regret his decision to marry her.

As Kenshin stepped into the doorway of the nursery, he felt a small smile cover his lips and he stopped. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned against the doorjamb and cocked his head to the side.

Kaoru sat in the middle of the floor, the butter yellow skirt of her day gown fanned around her form. Her dark hair was swept away from her face in casual, loose chignon. She leaned forward to steady the small form of the red-headed toddler standing unsteadily before her. The boy giggled happily as he wobbled, his eyes on his mother's smiling visage. A shaky step backwards unbalanced him, and he let out a startled cry as he fell back, landing sorely on his bottom. The toddler immediately moved to turn his wide, startled blue eyes to his mother to be reassured, but he spied his father standing in the doorway and was immediately distracted from his mishap.

"Da!" he chortled happily. Kaoru followed her son's gaze.

Kenshin pushed away from the door and into the room, kneeled, and picked his son up from the floor. Running a hand through Kenji's soft red hair, Kenshin smiled silently down at him.

If some passing stranger had told him years ago that he would have this small family, Kenshin would have shrugged the statement off as drunken rambling – a scenario that was beyond impossible.

Having a child was one of the most frightening, exciting, and rewarding experiences of his life. And while this had seemed unfeasible previously, nothing felt more right.

He turned to Kaoru and held out his hand to help her up from the floor. She sent him a look clearly stating that she felt she was perfectly capable of standing on her own, but she took his hand anyway and stood. Kenji leaned against Kenshin's chest, resting his cheek against the soft linen of his shirt. Kaoru moved to stand beside her husband, and placed a hand against Kenji's back.

"You were holed up in your study for quite a long time," she murmured quietly, her eyes lifting to meet Kenshin's.

"Hmm," he responded. Kenji smiled slightly, amused by the rumble of his father's chest. "I'm completely finished now. There will be no more distractions for the remainder of our time here."

The corner of her lips curled. "I believe I've heard that statement before, and it turned out to be erroneous."

Kenshin reached out a hand and placed it on her waist before moving his arm about her to draw her against him and their son. "It's the truth. You have my word."

"And I'll hold you to it," she replied, a teasing threat in her words.

* * *

She woke slowly, reality gradually taking over and sweeping away her dreams. The gentle sounds of the night were melodic, and she almost felt herself drifting back onto the welcoming folds of sleep, but the pressing notion that something was missing kept her from succumbing. 

Kaoru wrapped her arms about her pillow and buried her face in the soft cushion as she stretched her tired limbs. As she shifted, her eyes slipping open, she realized the root of her dilemma – the cause of her wakefulness. Kenshin's side was empty, cold in fact, she found as she brushed her hand over the mattress where he should have been sleeping.

The pressing drowsiness slowly slipped away as she sat up in bed, blinking against the darkness that enfolded the room. One of windows lining the east wall of the bedroom lay open, allowing a soft wind to glide into the room, brushing the heavy folds of the curtains. Pale light illuminated the opening and outlined the form that stood leaning against the side of the window, his arms crossed over his chest.

His expression was neither somber nor light, but there was heaviness to it that she recognized. Whether he thought of his past, of the present, or of something related to the work he had finished earlier that day, she didn't know, but the insomnia that gripped him occasionally was there nonetheless. Her first thought as she spied him in front of the window, was to get up and join him at his perch, but something held her back as she watched him.

During the three years since he had returned to her from his self-imposed exile, Kaoru had finally found her small niche in the world. Truth be told, she had begun to heal during that fateful trip to Kent with Misao, but it wasn't until she met Kenshin that she fully embraced that freedom from her grief, and when he left, those two years without him had been important to her as well. She had found that while she did love him terribly, it was possible to live a life she would have been content with without him. But, her life was so much fuller, complete, and rich with him in it. With the birth of their son a year and a half ago, Kaoru felt entirely whole.

She knew that Kenshin still felt the heavy pull of his past, but as time passed, she had noticed the lightening of his countenance, the gradual freeing of the overwhelming hold his demons had. During times like tonight when he was lost in thought, his surroundings forgotten and his mind overburdened, Kaoru liked to remind that he wasn't alone anymore. Far from it.

Pushing back the covers of the bed, Kaoru slipped her feet over the side of the mattress and stepped lightly onto the cold floor. With a slight shiver, she reached for the green robe thrown over the back of a chair and hurriedly slipped her arms into the warm folds. With soft steps, she walked quietly over to her husband, her gaze intent. She came to a halt next to his elbow, and with a small sigh, she reached out a hand and brushed her fingers over the exposed skin of his forearm.

She felt the small tremor that went through his arm, and a few long seconds later, he turned his heavy gaze to hers. She had gazed into that deep amethyst thousands of times, but it was almost as if she saw him anew every time she glimpsed them. Tonight, they were rich with exposed emotion, so different from the first time she had met him when every nuance of emotion was carefully concealed. Light slips of muted amber swam in his eyes, highlighting the passion, tenderness, adoration, and devotion that swam inside. Kaoru lifted a hand and slid her fingers over the smooth ridge of his cheek.

"It's cold," she murmured.

His silent response was to gather her against him, his arms wrapping protectively around her slight form. She buried her nose against the fabric of his shirt before inhaling and shifting in his embrace so her back rested against his chest. She leaned her head back against his collarbone and relaxed in his comforting hold.

Her eyes traced the light of dusk as it reached bold fingers up from behind the horizon. A peaking of soft blue and yellow merged with the navy of night, brushing like a soft stroke of blended paint underneath the fading sprinkle of stars.

"Good morning," he whispered huskily into her ear.

A slow smile spread over her lips. "Good morning."

* * *

**Author's Note**: I'm still in the process of writing the spin-off story for Misao, entitled 'A Persistent Hope'. For those interested, I posted a 3-page preview for it in my LJ (the link can be found in my profile). Simply go to the Memories section, and it should be there. 


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